Other blogs have compared college football teams to characters in popular TV shows. It’s a pretty good idea, so I thought I’d steal it and do my best to compare teams to the characters on my favorite show, ‘Lost’
Alabama
Jack is the leader of the survivors while Bama has historically been the leader of the SEC. Like Alabama, Jack is not without faults and has some skeletons in his closet. Bama’s past indiscretions led them to the NCAA jailhouse, and Jack is currently residing in a prison thanks to The Others. Or in Bama’s case, Fulmer and Roy Kramer.
Auburn
Sawyer comes off as a redneck hick, but he’s a smart con man. Remind you of a certain coach? And just give Sawyer a chance and he’ll kick your ass. He also goes by an alias, just like the Auburn PlainsTigeagles. Oh yeah, he’s very jealous of Jack.
Tennessee
Sayid was a member of the Iraqi Republican Guard. UT got its nickname from the large number that volunteered for the Civil War. Sayid specializes in torturing people. Watching UT methodically plod down the field with short passes in the second half against Alabama’s defense was like death by a thousand paper cuts for Bama fans.
Georgia
Kate is a hottie and UGA has been the hottest program in the SEC the last few years. Early on she acted like she hated Sawyer, but deep down we all knew that she loved him because they are just alike, Kate’s just a little softer. Just like many people think Auburn is in Georgia, some on the island think Sawyer has been inside of Kate.
Florida
It was hard to fit Florida into this because all the characters on Lost possess something the Gators don’t…..a past. Anyway before the crash Eko was a drug dealer that turned priest. Under Spurrier the Gators won with the Fun and Gun Offense, but now under Meyer they’re beating teams with staunch defense and a running back-up quarterback. Either way made teams feel like they just got their heads bashed in with a Jesus stick.
South Carolina
Hurley is either the luckiest unlucky man or unluckiest lucky man on the planet. The dude wins the lottery, but then a series of very unfortunate events occur, the worst of which is the plane crash which he blames himself for. South Carolina fans are lucky that they landed Steve Spurrier for a coach, but they are unlucky because…..well, they’re still Gamecock fans.
Florida St.
Bobby Bowden, like Michael, will do anything to save his son. Even endure craptacular offensive showcases that would make Randy Sanders and Mike Shula sick to their stomachs.
Kentucky
Pretty, non-threatening, and never part of the storyline. Sums up both Claire and UK rather well, don’t ya think.
Ole Miss
Nobody on the island, save his wife, can understand what Jin says. Nobody in America, save Jerrell Powe can understand what Coach O says.
Arkansas
At first glance the leader of The Others doesn’t look imposing, but don’t let that facade fool you. He is a worthy opponent, just ask Sawyer (Auburn). Usually does his most damage when you least expect it or waits for you to let your guard down.
Louisville
Walt was supposed to be a 10 year old boy. Well the actor was when taping began. Since it’s taken over two years to tape the episodes, Walt’s character got written off because he was growing too fast. Like Walt, Louisville quickly outgrew C-USA and left for the Big East.
Vanderbilt
Like Vandy, acts morally superior but is always wrong (or always loses). Locke believes there is a higher reason for being stranded on the island. Vanderbilt believes there is more to a school than its football team.
Mississippi St.
Desmond spent quite a while down in the hatch. Miss St. has spent years in the SEC cellar. Once free from the hatch, Desmond tried to escape on a boat only to sail right back to the island. Miss St. fans thought Jackie Sherrill was gonna take them to the top of the SEC, and for a few years he had the Bulldogs playing well, but now they are right back where they usually are. After the hatch blows up Desmond has premonitions that come to pass. Most Miss St. fans can see where Sly is taking the team.
It was hard to fit Florida into this because all the characters on Lost possess something the Gators don’t…..a past.
Pan Am Games Gold
Is it close to Olympics?
“Is it close to Olympics? ”
No
The love scene between Eko & Sawyer was beautiful..bwahahahhaha
I dont think sawyer has been inside of Kate, in real life she is married to the guy who plays Charlie. And whats not to love about Charlie? He is adorable
Charlie=ND:
Still living in the past when they actually meant something but now they just irritate the shit out of everybody. Everybody loves to hate them but for some reason it is more entertaining when they are involved. Oh and they both remind me of hobbits and large fat men are closely involved with them.
rjm,
very good.
Apparently I should watch Lost if I want to understand this.
Miami= Anna Lucia
She’s dead and so is that program for the time being.
I agree that Auburn is like Sawyer. Sawyer is just a big tease to Kate, just like Auburn’s football program is a big tease to Auburn fans. You thought they were actually going to be good this year and then well, you know. Also, Sawyer enjoys fish biscuits.
Sun = LSU
Only team with fans that understand what Coach O is saying
how did I miss that one, corb?
nice blog
RJM, are you a Buckeye by chance?
dmatriz
We are simpletons but we try real hard
BamaNation – nice choke job last week against UT! Bama is 5-3 so far, with games left with LSU and Auburn (both of which Bama will lose). How do you feel about a 7-5 season? Oh, and what is Shula’s record against top 25 opponents? Auburn is 90% against their last 10 top-10 opponents. Must really suck to be a Bama fan these days….
Hahahaha nice work! I love the show!
Hmm…an Auburn fan posting on this site (when he wasn’t provoked by a Bama fan) just trying to irritate the Tide followers. Makes the “Sawyer is jealous of Jack or Auburn is jealous of Alabama” remark seem pretty credible I’d say. Moooooooooo
I love “Lost” never miss an episode. I hope Kate ends up with Jack. He is my favorite so I would match him with the Oregon State Beavers my other favorite!! LOL
Very nice! A worthy post, my good man!
Damn Bammer, it was written by one of your own
Thanks for the support, Bama Nation and 12 to 1 barners! Some fans don’t understand the tradition of Alabama football – UA is where moral victories are born. 4th in the SEC West and a trip to the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl is not an easy accomplishment. I’m glad that some people can appreciate the dynasty that was Alabama football 50 years ago. Fans nowadays only seem to remember the last 10 years – for some reason, they seem to think it’s the only way to gauge the current strength of a program. Y’all are true Bama men. Roll Tide!!
cool
You should submit this to collegehumor.com if you want more hits – this is right up their alley.
I will do that. Deadspin did not pick it up for some reason
Chicago Cubs = Hurley
Like Hurley, the Cubs are often given earthly treasures that bring great hope. Unfortunately, the Cubs also take after Hurley in that they are eternally damned by supernatural and unexplainable powers, which act to bring everything crashing down during moments of great promise. Examples include the complete destruction of pitchers Wood and Prior and the freak injuries of stars Derek Lee and Nomar Garciappara.
Hurley is plagued by the numbers 4,8,15,16,23, and 42. The Cubs equivelant of Hurley’s numbers are 1, 12, 13, 32, and 57. It is unclear what Hurley’s numbers represent. However, the Cubs numbers are suspected to represent Jose Macias, Dusty Baker, Neifi Perez, Latroy Hawkins, and Antonio Alfonseca, respectively.
That’s good Ryno, but we’re trying to stick to football here. Focus, man, focus.
cool site
Awesome Post!
Third Rake webcomic