Coach Fulmer tells the Big Orange Nation “Shut Your Pieholes”
After Arkansas completed the over the knee (OTK) spanking over our beloved Vols (OTK I discovered through Google is a porn genre (NSFW)) Chris Fowler succinctly summed it up best: “Tennessee was uninspired and apathetic.” Coach Fulmer has fooled all of the pundits, again, all but us here at the LWS. Follow along as we peel off the layers of this stinky onion.
Coach Fulmer has a Master Plan. Much like Doctor
Pavlov and his slobbering dogs, Fulmer has a firm handle of the Tennessee Fanbase, his Team and his own destiny. Clearly, he has his giant “Dinty Moore” thumb on the pulse of the operation.
(One can see Fulmer’s thumbprints on the cans)
The basic tenets of Fulmer’s plan are:
- Beat Florida through a proxy. Unable to defeat the Gators himself, Fulmer allowed the most complete SEC West Team (sorry LSU, Les Miles is holding you back) to take the Vols to the woodshed thus propelling the Razorbacks higher in the standings and into the SEC Championship Game.
- Keep Coach Cutcliffe at Tennessee. The dismal offensive performance will most certainly end CBS and ESPN’s constant comparison of last year’s dismal offense to this year’s vastly improved offense. This comparison makes Coach Cut look like an Uber-Coach. After being manhandled by the Arkansas Defense, Coach Cutcliffe now looks like damaged goods that no other school will want him as a head coach.
- Win a Bowl Game. This is the most important part of Fulmer’s plan. There is no room for error here. Prior to the LSU Game, the Vols were being considered for a BCS Bowl Berth. After the LSU loss a BCS Bowl seemed unlikely. However, the Vols were still being considered for a Major Bowl game. In fact, one scenario had UT back in the ciTrUs Bowl against Wisconsin. Now, after being smoked by the Razorbacks, Tennessee has the opportunity to play in a winnable bowl game against a lesser team. This future bowl win will be the crowning jewel on a highly successful season.
But there are many unanswered questions like: Why didn’t Erik Ainge play? Well he had an ankle injury you would say, but now that we know Fulmer’s plan, the severity of the injury seems to be in doubt. Why did Fulmer stop running LeMarcus Coker? Why continue running that crazy Mustang Defensive scheme? We just don’t know the answers to these questions. With Vanderbilt looming next week, how will these puzzle pieces fit into Fulmer’s plan?
Houston Nutt was obviously a willing conspirator to Fulmer’s plan. These two fine coaches have planned and executed ‘operations’ before. Case in point, Tennessee’s 1998 National Championship season. 
Why else would Arkansas Quarterback Clint Stoerner stumble and drop the ball unless he was ordered to do so by Houston Nutt? Fulmer needed that play and Houson Nutt was more than willing to help. But all favors have strings attached, and Coach Nutt called in that favor last night. It just happened to fit in Fulmer’s plan and immediately became a ‘win-win’ for both coaches. What Houston Nutt needed was validation of his controversial hire of High School Coach Gus Malzahn. This win over the Vols legitimized the Malzahn hire and virtually assured the Vols a Bowl Game that they can win soundly. Coach Fulmer was merely returning the favor to Coach Nutt.
We here at LWS believe that Fulmer is a MENSA-like genius. His execution has been flawless. The fruits of this plan will eventually yield the desired results that will again appease the unruly and boisterous Tennessee fanbase.
Vote here
Uhh, that is the point, it was a coordinated effort between Fulmer and Nutt. I hope the FBI doesn’t get involved under RICO
Why UT remains the darling of CBS and ESPN is beyond me. More and more UT gets their ass handed to them on national t.v. We get selected quite a bit even though the salad days 0f 96-01 are long gone.
Maybe there is a network conspiracy to expose our sorry efforts and weak recruiting over the last three years?
Yes there is Warren. Why would ESPN hire Charles Woodson as a college football commentator
clint stoerner. that explains it all man!
Cut ruined a fine middle tier SEC school that Tommy Tuberville built from a Program that should have gotten the NCAA death penalty and will hopefully do the same for UT.
No Fruit Sucks Like The Big Orange!!!
It certainly appears Coach O has you on track for success. Good luck Skyler
for Ole Miss fans, 2 pages of stories on your Battle Captain Coach O
http://del.icio.us/loserwithsocks/Orgeron?page=1
Ole Piss plays LSU this week. I’m assuming LSU will be about a 30 point favorite.
all you ignorant, knuckle-dragging, nose-picking, crotch scratching, Arkansas fans leave Phil alone and leave these loserwithsocks fellers alone too, or i will kick all your asses down your own trailer steps.
You guys are fucking crazy! i read most of these posts and is this where all the retardes in the Big Orange nation come. what the hell is wrong with you. losing to Arkansas on purpose? what the hell!!!! so i guess we lost to LSU on purpose too, lost to Florida too, you guys are so stupid it makes me ashamed to be a Vols fan. you guys are delisional and need to get a reality check on life and stop being so damn dumb
Losing to a terrible Arkansas team is an embarrassment for Tennessee. Fulmer should refund a week’s salary for that coaching debacle! Tennessee should have hired Terry Bowden and given Fulmer his walking papers. but, they like the good ole Tennessee boys, even if it means losses.
wtf…this site sucks
Moosefucker8, your site is gay. Penguins? WTF?
hankl, is that you?
Your mother is a whore…… wil this get me the axe here?
PENGUINS
Hot damn. I’m just excited to see another wordpress college football blog.
Fucking Jonathan Tu? That dude is funny. He is an excellent writer
Gallavol, you are really losing your mind.
S, that moosefuck, posted that shit here, so we returned the favor. That piece of shit deleted our comments on his site. A site about Penguins
Thanks Ron Zook, thanks for leaving us well-stocked. I need your address to send a Christmas Card
This whole thing is irrelevant. If you are a true gator and not some band wagon fan who has no family or personal connections to uf you would never bad mouth Urban. He pulled us out of our Zook depression and after only 1 year he has got us a SEC east title.As a TRUE Gator fan I think we owe him our complete thanks. Meyer knows what its about. The Urban legend has come true. I know that any true member of the Gator Nation will agree with me. All hail Florida all hail our alma mater. Go Gators!
click clack
hah what a spaz. teh percy harvin of blogs
wow
Hey LSUcks! You WERE favored by 30 and it went to OT. Hope you didn’t lay the 30 on the Tigers with a bunch of Rebel fans. Hwere’s hoping Brent WSpurlock has some better accuracy next year!!!!
Yoyoyoyoyoyo yo yo yo Football