A big hat tip to occasional contributor GallaVol. He has issued a report card on the Arkansas beatdown:

Quarterback- First, let me say that Jonathan Crompton is a legend. He may look human at first glance, but this ruff, tuff, mountain boy is immortal on many different levels. If he wanted to win the game Saturday night, he would have. Instead, he executed Coach Fulmer’s “plan’ and played like any highly touted Freshman quarterback would have. It was very selfless of “The Chosen One” to follow orders and throw the game. His final numbers, 16 of 34, 174 yards and a human-like interception. His grade? A++

Tailback- While Coker showed signs of life early, the tailbacks as a whole were disappointing (again). If somebody does not tell Hardesty that real football is nothing like playstation, you can’t just “R1” yourself into the endzone everytime you touch the freaking ball, I may go insane. Arian Foster got 1 carry, and to be honest, I do not remember it. I give Coker a B, Foster a cold brew, and Hardesty gets a circle button.

Receiver- Bob Meachem was treated like a 3 year old girl 5 yards off of the ball all night long. Combine that with the fact that we have no other receiver to depend on, and it spells disaster. Also, was it just me or did it seem like we looked 3 times slower than usual? I am assuming this was all a part of Fulmer’s master plan, so let’s give the receivers a D and move on.

Offensive Line- Sucked a high, hard one all night long……. F

Defensive Line- Finished off that high, hard one the O Line was sucking all night.

Linebackers- I cannot blame the beating on these guys, they seemed to play hard. Ryan Karl looked white, but besides that I thought they did all they could. I read on another Tennessee website that we made the proper adjustments in the 2^nd Half to hold the “Hawgs” to only 80 yards on the ground, but any sane person knows when it is 28-7… nobody gives a shit about adjustments. C.

Secondary- Is Pharaoh Monk 8 feet tall or did our secondary blow that badly? I think it is the latter. I assumed we would have the ball pounded down our throat all night, but never would I have imagined we would make Casey Dick look better than Jonathan Crompton, who we have already established is a God. Once again, I have to give credit to the entire defense for executing Fulmer’s plan to a Power T. F

Coaching- Looking at it on paper, it was atrocious. However, if your players refuse to perform and perhaps tackle occasionally, is it really a coaching issue. Let’s assume for a moment that Fulmer didn’t throw the game (which he did), who can you place blame on? Chavis? Maybe, but his side of the ball has come up with big turnovers almost all season. Cutcliffe? Doubtful, he has taken a 5-6 offense and turned them into one of the best in the SEC. Fulmer? Maybe, but I still think he is a good head coach. I have a theory, maybe our fans are douchebags and expect 11-12 wins year in and out… Why not understand how big of a turnaround this season is, and take 9-3 (assuming Fulmer doesn’t have another section of his plan LWS hasn’t discovered)? If we win our bowl game, we could be looking at a 10 win season, which for you math majors is double the output of last season. C for the game, B for the year.

In closing, we have some of the most ignorant fans in college football, perhaps sports in general. The most disturbing and flat out creepy thing I hear of is a few of Tennessee’s “inside sources” who frequent these kids My Space page, congratulating them all in an effort to be listed on their “Top 8.” Hopefully, these Website Warriors are caught and shown on Dateline sipping on a cold brew while waiting the players exit from the locker room, which I am hearing is normal practice for one senile predator. Gallavol supports this team, el brujo’s movement, and Fulmer’s master plan… Gallavol, out.