Beano Cook Tailgates for Michigan-Ohio State Showdown
Another repost from the old Blog. Tomorrow Michigan and Ohio State square off in the ESPN-hyped “this week’s game of the century” (We thought that Louisville and West by-God Virginia was the game of the century). Since this game involves a couple of Big 10 Juggernauts, it is only fitting to repost this timeless classic of Beano Cook’s tailgating preparations. If you close your eyes and imagine Brent Musburger and Jack Arute calling this game, you can get a visual of Beano’s gameday activities…
Today, Penn State plays Notre Dame. Tomorrow, Michigan plays Ohio State. Can you imagine how excited Beano is? He has been a Notre DameBig 10 and Joe Pa Homer for as long as I can recall. Games like Notre Dame and Penn State Michigan and Ohio State require special preparation. We wondered if Beano prepared for a big game like some of our Vols fans. If so, how does Beano prepare? What items does Beano need for a game of this magnitude? Here is what we discovered.
LWS was able to obtain a copy of Beano’s “Perfect Storm” Toolkit:
- Black Socks
- Wife Beater Tee Shirt
- Boxer Underwear
- Athlon Magazine (He needs visual stimulation)
- Lindys Magazine
- Industrial Grade Lubrication
- Penis Floss
- Kleenex with Aloe
- A quiet dark room to “watch”
Beano sits in the dark quiet room clad only in the “uniform” outlined above. The remaining items all have specific uses known only to Beano. LWS can only speculate on his actions.
It must be noted the impact that Beano Cook has had on a generation of Volunteer fans. Even today, a few devout Vols fans are now checking and rechecking their Perfect Storm Toolbox in anticipation of tonights game against Air Forcetomorrows game against Vandy.
We have an exclusive photo of some Vols Fans preparing their “Perfect Storm” Toolkit. Notice that the gentleman on the right is holding a “Its Football Time in Tennessee”. Each fan may vary their Toolkit as necessary.
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The tension is building for tomarrows college football show down between No.1 Ohio State and No.2 Michigan. It is predicted by many polls that if Ohio State loses to Michigan they will fall in the rankings to No.3 or worse. Tomarrow, Ohio State not only needs to win; they must defend their chances at a the National Title.
Beano uses penis floss.
but they are NOT there just to play ball.
the day to day distractions from football are many and plentiful. Happens every single day, including game day.
Classes
Study
Sickness
Rehab
Family health issues
Every day family concerns
Every day friend concerns
Girl Friend problems
day to day domestic tasks (store, cleaning, etc. They don’t have help to do these things).
Shopping
many other things
They are NOT there just to play ball. Education is first and foremost, if they want to play. Family is next way before football.
There is no perception about emotional and physical wearing out. Its just a reality. Vandy has the same issues. Which can over come them and win? We will see tommorrow.
GallaVol, you are such a clown