(ESPN’s SEC Championship Game matchup edges)

“Mota is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, and I say let us give them all they want.” – General Houston Nutt

We go through the keys to the game, including the intangibles that ESPN won’t tell you. Related Houton Nutt stuff

(Related Houton Nutt stuff click here )

(Related Herban Meyer stuff click here)

Arkansas Offense vs. Florida Defense

Edge-Arkansas – Gus Malzahn, Casey Dick, Mitch Mustain, Darren McFadden, Marcus Monk and an offensive line that averages 315 pounds will wear down the marijuana depleted Florida Defense. In short, unless the dope smoking suspended players magically reinstated (which they could be), the Hog running game will wear the Gators asses out. If Dick has to throw, 32% completion rate in the last two games, the Hogs might be in trouble.

The Marcus Thomas Factor. After witnessing how well the Hogs run the ball, we believe that Herban Meyer will use his complicated but highly effective suspension algorithm that will allow Defensive Tackle Marcus Thomas to take the field. This algorithm has baffled opponents all season, they just could not figure out which suspended player was going to play. Gator fans like to tell us that Herban Meyer does not decide who is suspended or not suspended, the school adminstration makes the decision. We raise the bullshit flag, Herban is the ultimate decision maker on who actually plays in a game. Since Herban Meyer does not have a shred of integrity, Marcus Thomas will magically be reinstated and play in this game.

Florida Offense vs. Arkansas Defense

Edge Hogs – Florida should have the talent  edge here but they don’t. They like to run the shotgun with 4 wide receivers and Leak out of the shotgun. The run offense out of the spread option is gimmicky and unreliable and Chris Leak really doesn’t like the getting hit. Leak can throw the ball….as long as he thinks he won’t get hit.

It kinda of ruins the whole spread option thingy having a quarterback that sharts himself at the thought of getting hit. But damnation, you gotta hand it to Herban for sticking with his ugly baby offense. No matter how many times Herban washes that ugly baby, it is still an ugly.

The Chris Leak Factor. Probably the single most important key to a Arkansas victory is Chris Leak. As Leak promised the Gator Nation, he is working towards his 4th national championship. In fact, in a tradition unique only to the Gator Nation, Gator fans often boo and chant “TEE-BOW” to pay homage to Leak’s always gutty performance as sign of deep respect, love and admiration for his toughness and clutch play under pressure. The Gator way of saying “Thanks Chris”.

(What skills!!! With the game on the line, Leak taunts an Barn defender)

Special Teams

Easy pick here, huge edge to the Hogs. Florida’s estrogen riddled field goal kicker is fragile and sensitive. The Hogs are winners if Florida has to kick a field goal to win.

Coaching

Urban Herban Meyer passed up a chance to share his thoughts with Congress about the Bowl Championship Series. Congress asked Meyer to speak about the BCS earlier this year,”They wanted my opinion because I was a non-BCS coach that made it to the BCS and now I’m at a school like Florida,” Meyer said. “It was during recruiting and I couldn’t go do it.” Meyer, who came to Florida after coaching at Utah, said he somewhat regrets his decision.

Well, two years ago, Herban Meyer loved the BCS. The BCS put his arrogant and Godless ass on the college football map. Now, he thinks that the BCS sucks and wants to get rid of it because they won’t let his spoiled ass into the National Championship game against Ohio State. Oh Herban?? You still need to beat Arkansas.

Same thing with marijuana, the wacky weed has hurt his defense and now he wants to legalize pot to keep his players eligible. He has championed this cause by changing his name from Urban to Herban to demonstrate his support.

(Meyer in front of the Gator Athletic Dorm)

Houston Nutt is an old school country ass who hired Gus Malzahn to breathe some life into his offense. And guess what? Gus brought along Parade AA Quarterback Mitch Mustain too!! Crazy like a fox, old Houston and that craziness will overcome Herban’s sobs, snot tears and emotional outbursts. Hogs win and leave Herban crying at the press conference. Note to Hog Fans, remember that LSU Touchdown that did not count? Herban has some crazy voodoo homecooking with the refs. Don’t get mad if a call goes his way and it costs the Hogs the game.