WVU Message Boards were in meltdown mode over speculation that Coach Rich Rodriguez was leaving WVU for Bama  here is that update: DAY 6 UPDATE Why Rodriguez Said No

UPDATE: Day 5 LINK HERE

Physical laws nearly collided yesterday as Bama and Cock message boards were frenzied with speculation that Steve Spurrier and Bama were to be united. What was at stake is either a weird property of space and time or a weird kind of lawlessness in SEC. This unholy union would have created a black hole, described below:

The equations of general relativity lead to the inescapable conclusion that a collapsing Bama Nation, if massive enough, will keep right on collapsing, until they tear a hole in the fabric of space-time (the hire of Spurrier). At such a location, called a singularity, gravity is so intense that the familiar laws of physics break down. Surrounding the singularity is a region of no return, called the horizon. Spurrier politely declined to accept the Bama job stating, “I am a Cock, I am to damn old to stop being a Cock. Besides I like playing golf at Augusta and the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail is overrrated.” CBS’S Clay Travis’ list of candidates here

When you’re Alabama and Miami, you’re not used to being told “no.” But what you are getting accustomed to this year is losing. That’s why the two one-time powers, standing 6-6 and not happy, aren’t letting a mass of rejections stop them from pursuing big names for their vacant coaching jobs.

Let’s see. Alabama has been turned down by South Carolina’s Steve Spurrier, West Virginia’s Rich Rodriguez, Wake Forest’s Jim Grobe, Navy’s Paul Johnson, Louisville’s Bobby Petrino and the Miami Dolphins’ Nick Saban. Alabama officials deny reports they have gone to Bear Bryant’s grave with a psychic and a coach’s whistle.

Link