Michigan fans, now we now the how and the why.  This matchup between Florida and Ohio State was planned by Woody Hayes and Earle Bruce many years ago.  This  unnatural union spawned devil-bot coaches Herban Meyer and Jim Tressel.  Both of these twin apocalyptic beasts were groomed for top slots in “the corporation”.

When Herban Meyer needs inspiration, all he needs to do is to walk into his Fetish room in his home and glance at the man clad in rubber portrait on the wall. It’s not a military general; it’s Woody Hayes that  he sees.

Then when Meyer needs a little career wisdom, the person he calls is former coach, Earle Bruce. Come Jan. 8, the ghost of Hayes and the beating heart of Bruce will be pulling for Meyer and his Buckeyes/Gators against  in the national championship game in Arizona But a Buckeye victory was preordained many years ago.  So do not be surprised when the Gators lose to THE Ohio State University.  It is all part of the masterplan to ensure Buckeye dominance of the College Football World.  This is such secret shit, that even ESPN does not have the “need to know” for this level of access. So what if I lose?  Coach told me to do it.  I am happy to lose to Jim and the Buckeyes.  I don’t care if I ever win a National Championship. ” Meyer said. 

Where would Meyer be without the near hero-worship of Hayes and the “close mentoring” relationship of Bruce?  Woody Hayes and Bruce are the Buckeyes in Meyer’s woodpile.  DNA tests conducted by Lieutenant Horatio Caine of the Miami CSI confirm that Meyer, Tressel, Hayes and Bruce are closely related.

 Meyer grew up in Ohio and later was a graduate assistant for two years under Bruce. He came to know and respect current Ohio State coach Jim Tressel while he was at
Youngstown State, but Meyer already was bleeding scarlet and gray blood.

While Hayes was an idol —- the two had met on several occasions —- and one of the reasons Meyer got into coaching, it was Bruce who was influential in Meyer coming to Florida. (There’s a much smaller photo of Bruce in Meyer’s campus office.)  It was all part of the plan.  It is hard to imagine back then that group of coaches would conspire to do the following:  create the BCS;  put Meyer in as coach of Florida; place Tressel as the coach of Ohio State; create the BCS National Championship Match-up between Florida and Ohio State; and as a bonus, ruin Michigan’s season. 

“I call two people for career advice: Jim Tressel and Coach Bruce,” Meyer said. “I probably talk to [Bruce] every week. He did things the right way, with discipline and everything, really.  He helped me work out Marcus Thomas’s suspension plan.  I would not have been able to suspend him for the easy games and play him in the tough games without Coach Bruce’s counsel. “When we were deciding [between the jobs at Florida and Notre Dame], he gave great counsel. I probably spent two hours on the phone with him the night before making the decision. What he said was [private], but I’m a dummy. I wanted to go to a place where I would win instantly with other coaches players. I know that Ron Zook left the cupboard full for me. Besides this whole scenario was pre-ordained”. 

Meyer very much wants to keep the Woody Hayes legacy alive and well. He respects it and even embraces it. It’s not something he wants replaced, but something built upon. If he ever was, he’s wants to fulfill the prophesy and lose to the Buckeyes. How could he be with Hayes staring at him at home. No, I don’t touch the Hayes picture every day as I leave the house,” he said, laughing at rituals such as that. “I touch myself.”