Mal Moore to Announce Saban as Tide Head Coach Whether or Not if He Wants the Job or Not
(Author note. The blog post below is written in the Bammer language. Complete with regional dialect and slang to help those “kind of people” better understand the words coming out of my keyboard)
The latest from the Elephant Graveyard:
The Alabama loss to Oklahoma State in the prestigous and tradition laden Weedeater/Briggs-Stratton/Poulan/Tecumseh/Astroglide/Craftsman/Snapon/Makita Bowl was just a ruse…just to make sure that Joe Kines is good and gone when Saint Nick Saban rolls into the Tuscaloosa Ghettos to begin a new reign of terror on the SEC. Clearly, a win would have polarized the Bama sheep that would have wanted to keep that crazy talking in tongues bastard.
Not that this has anything to do with anything but after watching the Kines halftime interview in the Weedeater/ Briggs-Stratton/ Poulan/ Tecumseh/ Astroglide/ Craftsman/ Snapon/Makita Bowl, we feel confident that Batshit Crazy Ed Orgeron sprang forth from Joe Kines’ loins.
Anyway to get back on topic, collabarative’ losses in the SEC are not uncommon. The most recent “planned” loss was the Tennessee loss to Arkansas. The Nutt-Fulmer conspiracy is definitely worth the read linked here Click me hard. The Bammer talking begins now:
We Viles and Barners will have scurry back into the cracks from whence we came. Bama will soon be “back on top” and “kicking our stuffin’”. Us low-life lovers of Fat Phil and Two-Faced Tommy the Wingnut can take it to the bank! And us Viles will wander in the wilderness for all time as the mighty Crimson Empire rises from the ashes of its unjust NCAA probation.
However, here is alternate ending to the coaching search update from a Bama “insider” received via email (Thanks BamaPerry):
This is a “near” perfect, logical answer to the silent coaching search and our long wait. It’s not solid but it has logic.
First, that coach probably made it clear he didnt want any leaks about his intentions and Mal is oblidging.
Second, it allows the coach to tell his players “after” the bowl game and follow with an announcement to the media when they are already assmebled for the post-bowl game interview.
Third, it gives the media, their “scoop or surprise” storyline.
Fourth, it could prove that Saban is not coming to Bama.
If I am right about this, we will know by watching these two post-bowl game shows. I have a hunch we will know who our coach is on the night of the 30th. If so, watch the Car Care Bowl – BC vs Navy. 12-30
If not and Saban isn’t already announced, all eyes should turn to the…
Orange Bowl – Louisville vs Wake Forest. Jan 2
Vote here
