Nick Saban – A Temporary Solution to a Permanent Problem

2007 January 2
by Jai Eugene


It promises to be a sleepless week in the Barrios de Tuscaloosa. An entire state under suicide watch because of a wild goose named Nick Saban. Bammers, don’t fret, Mal Moore has the coaching search problem well in hand. Saban is quickly earning an unsavory reputation as a coaching whore; the porn star that will do anal; or worse, he is the Larry Brown of Football.

We have gone from “I’m not going to be the Alabama coach” to Nick Saban decides to “sleep” (Saban pictured above “sleeping”) on a deal that would make him the wealthiest double wide owner in Alabama.

Bama has shown us that stalking can be successful. Here is how Mal Moore got back into the Nick Saban hunt: By stalking Mr. Right (Nick or Rich), you can keep him in your sights at all times, getting to know every intimate detail of his life–which is almost as good as being an intimate detail yourself. If you dedicate yourself to being his personal stalker, you’ll have something to do on those lonely winter nights–stare wistfully through his window and name your six unborn children!

14 Responses leave one →
  1. 2007 January 2
    O&BNtheBlood permalink

    There are many of us who are not on ’suicide alert’ here in AL. We Auburn fans are just getting a kick out of the ’sideshow’ that is Alabama Football. It’s better than a night out at the Comedy Club.

  2. 2007 January 2

    I live near Dothan and all of the stores are closed for this event. Dothan is largely a War Eagle town

  3. 2007 January 2
    ............... permalink

    ……….

  4. 2007 January 2
    ............... permalink

    Saban

  5. 2007 January 3
    chunkylover permalink

    You have to earn at least one national championship to join this discussion. Sorry Auburn. You will always be second rate.

  6. 2007 January 3

    right on chunky…sharing one doesn’t count!! I don’t care how we got him as long as he lives up to the 30 million and wins us a national championship!

  7. 2007 January 3

    i dont really get why everyone is bagging on saban. hes leaving a weak team making less or equal money for a job that is a guaranteed 32 million – why wouldn’t he leave?! hes a good coach and can possibly put alabama back on the map.

  8. 2007 January 4
    J.R. permalink

    It’s often said a man is only as good as his word, Saban denied on at least 2 or 3 occasions in Dec he would break his contract with the Dolphins and take the Alabama job. Rather than face being called a liar, Saban skips his press conference & hops a plane for Tuscaloosa. After a losing 15- 17 overall record with Miami, this is clearly the best thing that could’ve happened for the Dolphins. Perhaps now the Dolphins can put a team on the field that will actually be fun to watch again!! ITS BEEN A LONG TIME

  9. 2007 January 4
    Curtis Leak permalink

    He will fit in well. Recruits love coaches that do not keep their word

  10. 2007 January 4
    BamaButch permalink

    Nick Saban and his hairy-armed wife didn’t fit in with the upper class of South Florida. Back to the lands of the double-wides they go, before they are run out Miami on a rail!

  11. 2007 January 4
    DrTeeth permalink

    Good riddance to bad rubbish! Neither he or his father could cut it as profssional coaches. Unfortunately, both of them trickled through Miami before they got flushed down the toilet of history. And now he heads to Tuscaloosa! And what a fine establishment of higher education that is. The likes of Joe Namath and Ken Stabler can call this place there alma mater. If they could only spell it. Two men who, if it weren’t an involuntary action, would be too dumb to breathe. Christ, Terry Bradshaw makes dumb joke up about Namath.
    Hey, didn’t the Crimson Tide have such a corrupt football program that they almost got the death penalty from the NCAA? The only thing that keep them going was the fact that it was the University of Alabama. And didn’t they loose a coach in a titty bar in Pensacola a few years back.
    Thank you Crimson Tide (BTW that’s a algae bloom our team is named after) for taking this 180 lb. wuss of our hands. I wish you nothing but bad luck in recruiting and I hope you loose by multiple touchdowns every year to Auburn!

  12. 2007 January 5

    Right, wrong, or just plain ugly, it’s all about winning at Bama. The same is true at Tennessee. Now, though, their respective programs are headed in opposite directions. Will the Vols manage to win another SEC title before Bama wins two more national titles? I wouldn’t bet on it.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Crimson Coach… « MINDLESS DRIBBLE
  2. À la prochaine, St. Nick « Fake Plastic Blog

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