The Springdale Divas; Why Gus Malzahn Bolted

 ”If Houston Nutt discovered the Fountain of Youth, he would use it as a urinal.” Billy Jack Haskins

An update to the colossal Arkansas Football Soap Opera (this post has Reader Mail at the Bottom!!). The entire State of Arkansas is about to implode or explode based on your perspectative over the Malzahn departure. We think it is wonderful hillbilly tragedy. Thanks Arkansas, thanks.

Related links: Springdale Divas #1 and I Heart Tulsa?

Gus Malzahn was told by Houston Nutt that his already diminished role as offensive coordinator was about to become more mind-numbingly more diminished. Nutt told Malzahn that there were plans to bring in David Lee — who is responsible for offensive quality control with the Dallas Cowboys — to be a co-offensive coordinator. That would mean a decreased role for Malzahn, who also served as Arkansas’ wide receivers coach.

Uber-Soccer Mom (Mustain’s Momma) Beck Campbell had this to say (surprised she has an opinion?): “Houston Nutt didn’t ask my permission to hire this David Lee Roth fella. I really can’t comment other than to say I’m shocked,” Campbell said of Malzahn’s decision. “(But) I think it speaks volumes.” We noticed that she certainly does talk a lot. (Who is the luckiest man in Arkansas?)

Here is what Malzahn had to say:

“I think it’s the right fit. My relationship with Coach Graham was important, and our offensive philosophies are very similar — a no-huddle spread-type philosophy.”

Which is a loose translation of what Gus just said: Nutt will fail next year, be fired, and Gus will return to Arkansas as Head Coach. So does Mustain and the rest of the Divas depart for Tulsa or do they wait at Arkansas on Malzahn’s triumphant return? Or do they just follow each other back and forth to Tulsa then back to Arkansas, burning up eligibilty at each stop and without playing a down of football?

The Springdale Divas saw through Houston Nutt’s puppet games and realized it was going to be the same tecmo bowl offense they saw the previous years here. Now we’re gonna be watching a red-assed Gus light it up at Tulsa and recruit prospects to make the Hurry Up No Huddle Offense run smooth as silk while Houston Nutt and his band of merry idiots will continue to roll in the 11th and 12th rated classes in the SEC.

READER MAIL

In an email to LWS from Frank Broyles step-son responds:

“I think”dad” died long ago and has been replaced with a robot. I wish my “dad” would retire and start eating breakfast with us. His attempt to spin his and Nutt’s decision to lie to Malzahn and the Razorback fans today on Drive Time Sports was feeble, much like his decision-making lately. “I always thought it was a compliment when people came and wanted my assistant coaches….” ha ha ha”. I don’t believe Nutt is smart enough to realize what a huge loss this is to the Razorbacks. We are the laughing stock of college football. “

In another email to LWS, from “illegal alien in Springdale”

We believe that all these comments and emails are coming from the Springdale high School Library, high school kids that have the football minds of peanuts. Houston Nutt blows away any other coach at recruiting to UA. Nutt is a real man, father and someone who loves our Lord. For everyone outside of the state, Gus is a joke, a high school joke. UA is a hill-billy nest. For Nutt to get anyone to come there is a amazing. To MM’s mom, makes me laugh just addressing a grown mans mom, stay at UA. Be the best you can be and go to the NFL like SuperMatt did. Mom go to work. Your son isnt going to marry you and take you to the NFL with him

From reader “Dickey Nutt”

Frank Broyles: Until you die you will be the only coach to win a national championship at Arkansas… congrats… Frank please retire so we can move on. We then could get Lou Holtz (or my brother) as the AD and start cooking with some really hot grease! Or get the Holtz penalty..probation..