Today is National Signing Day, the day that adult males, jock sniffers and jock sniffer-sniffers, meet in hotel rooms/War Rooms/Tactical Operations Centers, cruise Myspace/Facebook, discuss/analyze teenage boys physiques and breakout their Perfect Storm Toolkits, the National Signing Day Toolkit Version of course. A quick review of the minimum essential items:
- Black Socks
- Wife Beater Tee Shirt
- Boxer Underwear
- Rivals Recruiting Magazine (for visual stimulation)
- MySpace Log-in Information
- Industrial Grade Lubrication
- Penis Floss
- Kleenex with Aloe
- Cock Ring
- Wi-Fi Connection
One new item added to the both the Gameday and National Signing Day toolkits is the
adult diaper. Inspired by former Sharting Florida QB and future CFL backup Chris Leak and love triangle female astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak who was arrested Florida (imagine that, Florida), the adult diaper makes perfect sense, one does not have to miss one minute of the “action” by wasting time to drop a deuce or take a squirt in cold dark room by yourself. You can make bathroom noises in public with your sick buddies and mean it.
An education without salvation is damnation, bitches.
UNC just signed a (****) Tight End from Springdale, Arkansas (a certain SEC QB’s hometown). With Mitch Mustain’s mental instability, he might transfer to Chapel Hill for just that reason.
Oh how I wish that would happen. 3 QBs will be vying for the starting spot at UNC in 2007, and they are going to throw 4 TDs and 10 INTs each. No joke.
The Cock Ring is a new addition
I’m from Lawrence, Kansas, where national football signing day is as big a holiday as, say…. Arbor Day.
we are flipping to Florida. No other teams have a chance against the Herban Meyer and his pro-marijuana program
Guns, Mota, Nutria and Gators. C’mon aboard the CFL Grey Cup Choo-Choo Train
1,2, I am coming for you
I like penis floss
I hope that the US beats Mexico in soccer
UNC just took a prospect away from Tennessee-Marvin Austin, the top defensive lineman in the country. With our recruiting class and a new coach, the Heels can win a whopping 6 games!
For a minute there, I thought Tennessee-Marvin Austin was another one of those tiny “system schools”. I was all set to grab my road atlas and figure out when they were scheduled to play Notre Dame.
ESPSuck radio is full of west-coast homers. and penis floss
I’m patriotic so I call it a Freedom Tickler instead of French.
I was thinking Tennessee-Martin