4 Comments

Breaking News from Oxford…

Oxford, MS(AP) – A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Oxford courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents did, and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Ole Miss Rebels, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

4 comments on “Breaking News from Oxford…

  1. Old as the hills…but. at least you posted in reference to the SEC’s worst team with the highest expectations.

  2. Did you write that with Thriller playing in the background?

  3. Wearing legwarmers? Flashdance?

  4. If “Anyone” = “Bruce Pearl”, consider that ass beat.

    2005 called…It want its semi-humorous e-mail back.

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