Ar$yn eats pancakes and jocks for breakfast….
Hey fat kids, low self esteem? Life got you down? Think that your career options are limited due to obesity? I have great news! It appears you have 2 options, rapping (very poorly) and shoving your nose extremely far up any athletes anus.
Arsyn frequents a Tennessee message board I happen to post on. I notice a lot of trends with this guy, most notably his use of ebonics while typing. I am not hip, nor do I pretend to be, but is this some sort of attempt to make people think you are a gangsta? Another notable trend, his uncanny ability to clean out any players jock with one swoop of his tongue. Posts such as “I take my clothes off and squeeze my fat nipples when Lamarcus Coker runs the ball” and “Jonathan Crompton-Kendra can run my ass over anyday, and I will enjoy it thoroughly” can be found from his handle on the message board.
His jock sniffing ability is rivaled by few, and his rapping ability is rivaled by everybody on the planet. His most famous line to date? “My homie J Crompton be throwin them out routes, when he gets done I be sniffin his jock out.” Disturbing, I know. He is the main soldier in Crompton’s Army, and the founder of The Cromptonites, Inc.
See kids, there is hope. Below, I have placed his latest joint, titled “I sniff jocks for doughnuts.” This alone should give hope to the chubby kids of America everywhere. Keep your head up, kids, you could end up like this guy.
Vote here
He rhymed “vocab” with “vocab.” What a lyrical genius.