UCLA Preview

UCLA Essay

(by Ted Bauer)

I’ll admit: at first, the fun of UCLA’s run last year wasn’t so much the fact they were restoring their program, although that was cool. It wasn’t even so much – and man, this is hard for me to admit – Gus Johnson’s call at the end of their epic Sweet 16 game with ‘Zaga. “U-C-L-A! WHAT A GAME! WHAT A GAME!”

Rather, it was Luc Richard Mbah A Moute; first off, no one could get his name right. I envisioned Billy Packer spitting venom at the guys in the truck during the Final Four: “First of all, I got my ass totally handed to me with this mid-major in Indy! And now I gotta learn to say this dude’s name!” And of course, it was impressive that Moute was a prince, for chrissakes, and a frosh, for even more chrissakes, and he was playing pretty well.

Now, though, I watch UCLA with a different appreciation. For some reason, the Fox Sports affiliate in New England carries a shite ton of Pac-10 games (even football too! Mike Stoops!), so I checked them out a few times this year.

If Darren Collison doesn’t remind you of Tyus Edney against Missouri every damn time he touches the ball, you’re probably eating a few too many Jim Harrick brownies. If Arron Afflalo isn’t the most balls out shooter you’ve ever seen for his height and general build, you haven’t been watching college basketball long enough (OK, Acie Law is good, that’s true). If Ben Howland isn’t one of the five best coaches in America (with barely Top 25 ink), well, chop off my manhood and call me Pokey. And heck, if Lorenzo Mata isn’t one of the ugliest men left in the Dance (sorry, Joakim), I don’t know what’s what.

(You think that Billy Packer and Jim Nantz still suck?)

I was a little scared, when I saw Wooden this week at the McDonald’s All-American game, that he would “pull a Bo” and shuffle off this mortal coil on Sunday or something, after a potential UCLA win over Florida, and a day before a second national championship game appearance. I think he’s good, though. You have to imagine he gets life from everyone who absolutely loves him, Dick Enberg foremost among them.

The point is, I absolutely love UCLA. Sometimes, I wonder why I picked them to win it all when they don’t have a starting player over 6-9, and Saturday in prime time they have to bang with a Florida team featuring two post players who made All-American squads this year. Then, I remember: they have the best backcourt in America. They have the most underrated coach in America. Their PF is a f’n prince, for crying out loud. John Wooden won’t be alive for many more first Mondays in April. This is a team of destiny, and that destiny might well be realized this weekend.

And that’s tough for me to say – I did, after all, go to Georgetown.

And if you needed further proof about UCLA’s chances to win it all, consider this: typically, the team that wins that Opening Day Overshadowed encounter has to be – must be – a team that Jim Nantz can easily create a cliche about. For example, “It started in March, ended in April, and belonged to May!” You know what I mean. Well, this year, Nantz has no shortage of options: if OSU cuts the nets, he can say, “The Fab Five couldn’t do it, but the Thad Five could!” or just make an Oden reference (“Danny Almonte triumphs again!”). If Georgetown takes the trophy, he’s cut unlimited references about fathers and sons. And if Florida wins it, he can drop some line about winning both the BCS and the NCAAs in one year (“A clean sweep – a chomp sweep – for the Gators!”) or a two-peat (“Rick Pitino would be proud of his mentee!”).

All those are good, but imagine if UCLA can cut the nets, with Wooden feebly standing by at courtside, and Walton clapping, and maybe even Alcindor/Jabbar emerging from his seeming exile, and Edney and O’Bannon and Tracey Murray and Kiki and the whole family right there. Nantz has SO many options: “Another one, even sweeter, for the old ball coach!” “The Dynasty Returns! UCLA is your national champion!” And then, Luther Vandross’ voice cranks up, and Afflalo climbs that ladder, and the world is right again.