Follow-up: Get Your Lady ‘Dores NCAA Bowling Champs Merchandise Right Here!
Let’s say you’re Florida.
You could probably walk into their bookstore or log on to some website and pretty much buy anything you can think of that says “Florida Gators NCAA Champions,” the attached painting being my personal all-time favorite. Seriously, what Gainesville-matriculated professional wouldn’t want this craptacular painting hanging in their office next to their diploma?
Chomp on this, bitches!
From Florida Gators National Champions alligator-shaped vibrators to Florida Gators National Champions car magnets to Florida Gators National Champions beer can wraps, no chance to turn a buck has gone unturned.
That said, as I write this, it’s a much different story in Nashville, where, at the Vanderbilt Student Bookstore, in the aftermath of their first national title, all you’ll find is a “Vanderbilt Commodores 2007 NCAA Ladies’ Bowling National Champs” t-shirt. And it’s on backorder.
No caps. No license plate frames. No beach towels. Not even a Sports Illustrated-esque commemorative year in review coffee table book highlighting the year that was.
Maybe it’s because they’re not used to winning championships at Vanderbilt. This is their first sports championship of any kind since the school’s inception nearly 140 years ago. Face it, West End Avenue didn’t exactly look like Detroit on “Hell Night” after Cutler and the ‘Dores made it easier for Fulmer to poop a few dozen Krispy-Kremes after giving the Vols the hob-nailed Munson boot back in ‘05, so what makes you think VU’s running three shifts printing up t-shirts and other epherema?
I personally think this Commodore malaise is a bunch of horsepuckey.
Vandy has made it clear that athletics isn’t exactly their forte, nor do they want it to be. But for the love of Charlie MacAlexander, toot your damn horn, people! Make some money off of this.
You can bet if this were UT or UF, they’d have golf balls, condom holders, even a lithograph print or eleven at the ready. C’mon you bunch of Lisa Simpson wannabes, sack up and make some noise.
If you’re a Vandy fan or alum and you’d like to share the joy and trumpet your pride to the world (or at least impress the gerries speedwalking at 100 Oaks Mall), click below to get your very own national champions t-shirt. Don’t let these young women’s efforts be overshadowed by the juggernaut of Dores’ football spring practice. Twenty dollars is a pittance to do your part and help these girls know that their time spent rolling turkeys at the Hillwood Strike and Spare was not spent in vain.
Vote here
I am not bullshitting when I say I may order two t-shirts. One for me to wear and the other to keep in hiding to sell on Ebay in 20-30 years, because it may be another 140 years before Vandy wins another NC in any sport.
I was thinking of ripping this off and claiming it as my own work. Is that OK?
Why ask? You usually do that anyways.
Orvis Swindle:
Tongue the balls.
BTW. Congratulations on the Women’s Basketball National Title…