-(Schaumburg, IL)-
This past weekend’s Subway Fresh 500 was supposed to be a celebration for the 973,563,778 Subway restaurants in the U.S. But in an ironic twist of fate, for one Subway Sandwich Artist in Schaumburg, Illinois, it was sheer disaster.
“Screw NASCAR,” said Jeremy Potts, 27. “This running on Saturday bullshit totally ruined my NASCAR fantasy pool. Normally, I watch the Busch race on Saturday, go online, see how everyone did during Happy Hour, look up the sleepers and then make my picks on Sunday morning. I was up 574 points on “3Lives4vr” and now I’m down 136! Wassup with that?!?”
Potts added that “I was gonna go with Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Mark Martin, Jeff Burton and one of the shitty Toyota cars as a ringer. I was gonna put the season out of reach. But nooooooo-they royally screwed me over. Dammit to hell. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta make a 12-inch BMT on fresh artisan bread.”
Upon clocking back in, Potts was unavailable for further comment.
NASCAR, seriously! and you say baseball is hard to watch? C’mon my 80 year old granny’s lawnbowling has more action.