Uh…Holy Shit

Notice there is not an exclamation point. Notice there’s not a period. Or a question mark.

That’s just the nature of a customary reaction stemming from the unadulterated clinic that Lebron James put on in Detroit last night.

It’s hard to explain. You are so happy because of the sheer terror he’s instilling in the Pistons, and more importantly the Piston’s fans, so you want to scream. But you don’t want to move due to the troubling thought of missing the “next great play.” So you stay quiet. Then after three or four straight fade-aways find nylon, every Lebron shot begins with, “There’s no fucking wa…,” and ends with….

“Holy Shit”

In a subtle, tottering voice. Almost whispering because you’re really talking to yourself.

If you didn’t watch last night’s Game 5, you missed one of the greatest NBA playoff performances ever.

Lebron James scored 48 points, 29 in the 4th quarter and overtimes, and willed the Cavaliers to a 109-107 double-overtime win to take a shocking 3-2 Eastern Conference final series lead, in a game that will be tagged for years to come (my guess, ESPN Classic next Wednesday 8:00 p.m. ET).

Cleveland has won three straight games in this series. But one thing stood out more in last night’s game than the other two.

In Game 5, Lebron beat Detroit all by himself.

He had absolutely no help. Yea sure, Ilgauskas had 16 points, and spur-of-the-moment all-star Daniel Gibson chipped in a measly 11 points. But hey, that’s it.

In a double-overtime game! Two players, excluding Lebron, were in double figures.

There’s no excuse. And if you think I’m lying, Sasha Pavlovic and Drew Gooden, both starters I mind you, were a combined 5-20 from the field. How’s that for support?

Why won’t a reporter ask that question to Lebron during the post-game press conference…

Witty Reporter: Hey Lebron, how does it make you feel that you have played your ass off for almost four years now. Right? Right. And your front office has given you an entire team of players whose weakness is offense in general? I mean c’mon Lebron, they couldn’t score 10 points in 58 minutes. You scored 10 points during your pre-game shit.”

Lebron: Uhhhhh….Excuse me for a moment.

Poor guy.

Man, that’s hard to say when the “poor guy” is getting paid 90 million dollars to wear expensive shoes.

The point is, this is the Lebron James scouts swore he would turn into when he was still a “kid” at St. Mary High School is Akron, Oh.

He’s not Jordan yet. But now we know what they meant by, “he has the potential to blossom into something special.”

if you were watching last night. You were lucky enough to witness the transformation.

The transformation from dominant. To unstoppable.

But remember, this thing isn’t over. If you can remove the bong resin from your brain and think back to last year, we had the same scenario. Cleveland had a 3-2 lead going home for Game 6. Last year, Detroit won Game 6 in Cleveland and then eliminated them at home in Game 7.

The crowd in Cleveland will be wild. They will be loud and dangerously anxious. But at the same time, Rasheed Wallace and Detroit will be pissed off come Game 6. They won’t go down easy.

At least not as easy as Chris Leak (was that ok?).

A funny side story, David Stern probably went from Lebron’s bitch to being adversaries in less than 72 hours. Now that the Cavs have a good chance to win, Commish Stern would crumble due to the sweep glooming ahead if we were burdened with a Cleveland vs. San Antonio NBA final.

Don’t be surprised if good ole’ Rasheed Wallace gets few more calls go his way in Game 6.

Spurs suck.