A mere two years ago, mega-conference expansion decimated the Big East and filled ACC coffers with football talent, prestige, and money. Schools that were once in the middle tier of the BE or the top tier of the C-USA now fancy themselves big dogs after the defection of true powerhouse programs like Miami, Virginia Tech and… Boston College (well, they had to make it a round number, after all).
They claim they’re glad the bitches done left, but I’m sure we all remember that fateful night when Virginia Tech, Rutgers, Pittsburgh, and West Virginia ran down the street shouting “Come back! We can’t live without you!”, drunk, naked, and waving a subpoena. Once VTech got a look at the ACC’s gams, they threw in with the hussy and the once-thriving BE marriage was over.
So, whither the remaining 14? (Fourteen? Jesus H. Thank god only eight of them play football – seven if you don’t count Pitt.) There still might be some goodies available for them. Here are the remaining ACC bids available to the eight Big East football schools:
Cincinnati – This up-and-coming computer consulting firm calls Boca Raton home. They could use some Bearcat magic as they attempt to provide top-flight computing services for clients like Virtual Fusion, Whinston the Webzine, and the Gary Wallin Orchestra. The initial offer tendered includes a free redesign of those hideous uniforms, though they were quite taken with the traditional Bearcat “paw” logo.
UConn – This Community College from Alvin, Texas is looking for a few good men to help jumpstart their athletic program. We believe that UConn, under the leadership of Jimmy McClam, will soon challenge the likes of East Bumfuck Technical for league dominance if they accept this offer. As an added bonus, there are smaller class sizes and a remedial reading lab.
Pittsburgh – Bloody too right, Wanny! That’s a right wicked googly! Cricketers may indeed fear the ‘stache, so this is a win-win for both sides.
Cricket’s rule allowing only eleven men on the field at a time could cause a mathematical crisis in the Panther ranks, however. It is believed that a calculator and math tutor must be included in the ACC’s offer, or else Pitt will hold out for a better deal from the Big Ten “erotic enhancement” company.
Louisville/USF – The flyer for the ACC says “all are welcome”, so let’s take that to the bank. Louisville has a pretty decent football profile, even though basketball coach Rick Pitino gets paid nearly three times as much as the entire football staff, including players *rimshot*. With roundball season just around the corner, the football Cardinals will not likely be missed much. In order to get Louvul, the ACC will have to accept South Florida as a throw-in, however, which could stymie the deal.
Rutgers – The Scarlet Knights showed some mountain-climbing potential last season, as they climbed almost to the pinnacle of the Big Least before a late stumble caused them to finish second.
A rollicking Texas Bowl triumph over moribund Kansas State showed they could recover, however, so a few seasons with the Great White North branch of the ACC should make them more sure-footed. Must learn words to “O Canada”.
Syracuse – Few college football viewers remember that Syracuse was originally the top choice to join the Atlantic Coasters. Their steadfast denial of involvement may have saved them from the lawsuit, but it also allowed the Hokies to grease up and slide into their spot. They’ll never see another chance like that again, so we’re sending them back to kiddie school with the Armadillo Cowboy Club. Maybe they’ll be able to lasso a spot in the America East some year.
West Virginia – The Mountaineers are the number one choice of the ACC. They spend much of their lives in the dark underbelly of a mountain, eating raw fish and only coming out when an LWS post mentions their football prowess in a less-than-flattering light. One bonus – trained bats will be allowed to ferry plays to the huddle from the sidelines. Score.
Can the Big East survive? Who cares? Only time will tell.
This post makes me think that the BE is more like a porta potty, after one of the shit suckers cleans out all of the big turds. The Big turds VT BC UM. But what is at the bottom, are some turds not big enough for the sucker to evacuate. WVU is a prime example or evn Rutgers.
Then they add C-USA turd floater Louisville. They just outgrew their commode and joined WVU. Point is, even bottomfeeder turds can float.
What if BC had stayed? Would they be the WVU of today? And would WVU be mid to lower tier BE?
I will right this egregious wrong against our Conference. Jai? Your day is coming in the court of the blogosphere
I promise Big East fans, i will fix this on Friday. Jai is letting me run a weekly series on our brand of football/
Jao Eugene
Your post almost reads as goofy as your profile picture does.
BC sucks. MIami sucks. VT would finish 4-5th in the BE this season.
The ACC champ last year- Wake Forest would have been 5th in the BE last year.
BE>ACC
Any questions, fool?
PS
Don’t HATE- APPRECIATE
Appreciate??? Appreciate what exactly??? Mediocrity???
From 1991-2003 (Before Conference Shifting) WVU (’93) and Syracuse (’97 and ’98) won the conference title. There were only 2 other teams that won the title: Miami and Va Tech. In other words, your conference was dominated by 2 teams in a 12 year span before those 2 teams left your conference. My point is that would NEVER happen in any of the other major conferences (except the Pac 10 currently with USC slicing through opponents using the OJ technique).
You WVU fans have been talking trash about the Sugar Bowl win a few years ago. Whoop de damn doo. Buster Douglass lost his next fight after he knocked out Tyson. There is no way it happens again. I’ll gladly take UF, UGA, UT, UK (God I can’t believe that), Vandy, LSU, ARK, hell any team except MSU and the Fightin Bat Shit Crazys (Ole Miss) over WVU. USF and UL gave everyone a blueprint on how to defeat you guys.
Let me leave with this thought: How many times has a Big East team played for a BCS Championship??? 3. Who were thenteams??? Miami twice and VA Tech. So if WVU or any other Big East teams were that “elite”, where are your rings??? Hell, were are your BCS Championship participant’s swag bag??? The teams that you could have claimed elite left you guys.
Oh, and if anyone doubts the facts I just presented,
http://www.bigeast.org/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/m-footbl-records.html
[...] I put ACC expansion back on the table over at Losers With Socks. Which teams will be plucked from the Big [...]
Virginia Tech as 2-7 against WVU, Pitt, and Syracuse during it’s last 3 years in the Big East.
BC was 2-7 against WVU, Pitt, and Syracuse during it’s last 3 years in the Big East play.
Miami and WVU were tied for 1st place in the Big East in 2001.
WVU was in sole possesion of 2nd place in 2003.
WVU has already made it’s move and securing itself as the 2nd best team in the Big East before realignment.
Facts and you are obviously foreign to each other.
Got it?
Correction- WVU and Miami were tied for 1st place in 2002.
Joel,
During that 12 year span, how many times did FSU win the ACC? How many times have tOSU and Michigan won the big 10? How many times has Texas or OKL. won the Big 12? That has to be one of the stupidest posts ever……
Oh I’m so sorry. Mighty WVU tied with Miami. But if memory serves, didn’t Miami play OSU in the BCS championship game that year??? And if WVU was that dominate, where are the national championships ??? Where are the conference titles before the shakeup???
At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for Miami, the Big East would have 0 national championships. If it wasn’t for Va Tech, you wouldn’t have any other participants in the Big game besides Miami.
If WFVU was that fucking good they would have been asked to leave the Big Easy and join the ACC.
Obviously they aren’t that good.
My post was intended to dispel the myth of WVU and it’s dominance of the Big East Conference, Scott before the shakeup. But since you wanna put an opinion in, here we go.
FSU-National Champs (Beat the Vols), OSU-National Champs (Beat Miami), Michigan-National Champs (Beat Nebraska if I’m right), OU-National Champs (Beat FSU). Texas-No National Championships from 1991-2003, but did win a Big 12 Title, and not a “co-champs” thingy like WVU.
The ring’s the thing baby…
Obviously, a conference takes into account not only football prowess, but TV revenue. That’s where many of the non-invitees fell short. I mean, B.C. brings in the Boston market, WVU brings in… Morgantown.
I know, I’m arguing against my own piece, but since it made no argument, that’s fair game.
Scott, you have an extra chromosome. That’s exactly Joel’s point — the ACC sucked before it raped the b e and took all its premier programs. Did Texas or Ok leave the Big 12? Did MSU, Mich and OSU all leave the Big 10 the same year? Did So. Cal, UW or Cal leave the Pac 10? That’s his point, douche rocket. The good teams in the b e left — leaving only floating in their wake — and what does that shitty conference get? A BCS bid. The b e is a joke — and Rutgers being one of the premier programs in the conference is the punch line. I like and appreciate the fact that you guys are protecting your conference – I’d do the same — so bring it. This will liven up the debate here – and get these dick stabs off the Gators for a while.
There are few things that would unite a Gator and a Vol, and that’s piling on the Big East Conference. Keep protecting your conference and just remember that all of the teams left would not and could not compete in the SEC, Big 10, Big 12, or Pac-10 week in and week out. If any of the teams could, they would have been invited to join the big boys too. Our championship rings are bigger than yours. BTW, if you wanna include basketball in the mix, ACC and SEC has won more championships in men’s basketball in the same time span. If it wasn’t for UConn on the women’s side, you’d be screwed there too…
Damn you SEC people to high hell. My piece on friday should be called “an eye for an eye” but we WVU fans are above the fray. So just kiss my ass
Did I mention that I am a blogger here? May God have mercy on your souls, because this Eer won’t
SEC people to high hell??? You Eer won’t have mercy on our souls??? Why so violent??? Better yet, why wait until Friday??? Today is Wednesday, why don’t you give us a sneak peek??? Need to do a little fact checking??? Well check these facts out…
Florida-1995, 2007 National Champs
Tennessee-1998 National Champs
LSU-2003 National Champs
And guess who’s a favorite to face USC in the title game this year??? Another SEC team (LSU).
Damn us to high hell, but us SEC people aren’t leaving without our National Championships to cushion our descent into Hades…
I am awaiting to mighty BE couterpoint. I should be good for a laugh to start the weekend.
I’m waiting on it too. Think of it like a few years ago when Geraldo and all of his “journalistic integrity” revealed the contents of Al Capone’s vault, filled with dirt and rocks. A big deal was made of nothing at all. Angry Eer is gonna bring a raccoon club to a gun fight…
I will give AngryEer credit for having the courage to walk into the lions den of the blogosphere when it comes to Big East bashing.
But there is a thin line between brave and stupid. We shall see on Friday I guess, if they have electricity in WV at the end of the week.
Yeah I’ll give them credit. They are truly the “Little School That Could”…
The problem is that there’s a difference between “can do” and “will do”. If I knew how to create a desktop widget to count down until Friday I would. I think I’ll ask my little cousin who graduated fron Vandy to do it. That’s the reason we have Vandy grads around, right???
I am going to go “toot-Toot” on you SEC Homos…you will ne hanging Major Harris pictures in your parents basement when I am done with the lot of you
You are going to, and I sadly quote “too-Toot on you SEC Homos”. Wow. My 12 year old nephew talks better trash than that on his middle school team. Nevermind the facts that were presented were either not debunked successfully, or not at all. The best we get is a wait and see. OK, I’m done until Friday. I’ll wait and see.
I guess that free CD you can get from “The Video Profesor” about using the internet and Google won’t get to West VA until tomorrow. That’s cool too. I just hope you didn’t forget the small shipping and handling fee that you have to pay…
Contrary to popular belief, we do not have “rolling blackouts” in WV. We are not North Korea or even Honduras…we are better. Did you need a Major Harris Fathead?
OK so I’m not finished until Friday. I almost spit up Coke on my MacBook after that comment. Are you actually offering me an authentic Major Harris Fathead??? This, the same Major Harris that lost to Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl for the National Championship??? Who never finished higher than 3rd on the Heisman Trophy voting??? You mean, the immortal Major Harris that never played a down in the NFL??? You mean, THAT Major Harris right??? Just making sure.
You know, Peyton Manning is a future NFL Hall of Famer, NFL MVP, and a Super Bowl winner. He also got screwed out of the Heisman Trophy. When you send me that Major Harris Fathead, I’ll be sure to take Peyton Manning down and replace him with Major Harris. The GREAT Major F’n Harris (I do not believe I just wrote that). OK, now I’m done until Friday…unless you offer me a Bo Orlando Fathead…
Fuck that…Hell yeah, I got 2 Major Harris fatheads. It sounds like you needed one. Wait till friday, i am fine tuning my first post. Big East fans will flock here like one of the plagues….You are either with us or against us….George WVU Bush
T-KGB… the ACC sucked before the arrival of FSU. Man, sorry to burst your bubble, but the ACC had two National Championships prior to the inclusion of FSU. Ga Tech and Clemson. Now, apply that same standard to the Big East and what did they have prior to the inclusion of Miami and Va Tech. They had nothing to crow about. Pitt won a title vut I am not sure if they were a part of the Big East conference.
George WVU Bush!?! OMG, if that’s the case you’re gonna screw some things up and you can’t find a complete sentence if I gave you a flashlight and mapquest directions. I get it now that you posted that : Cheney=Louisville, Rove=Rutgers, Rice=Pitt, Gonzalez=Syracuse, Negroponte=UConn, Snow=USF. The truth is coming out…just like no WMD’s…
Scooter Libby=Marshall
and that is WvuMDs..sorry but that is the new rule.
As a Maryland boy, I rather liked the days when the ACC sucked ass at football (and FSU just swung it’s dick at everybody, but got it in return come Jan.), but was the gold standard for a college basketball conference.
Now, it’s ruined. Fuck it, why not expand to 14. Or 18. Or 24. Who gives a fuck? Swofford ruined the ACC by chasing football money, exchanging basketball excellence for football, um, what’s the word for something slightly above mediocracy? Oh, mediocracy will do.
And yes, I’m laying the blame at Swofford’s feet. (Carolina boy) Granted, it was the greed of all 9 schools, but somebody has to be the goat.
At least I’m not bitter.