So, I get home yesterday after a tough day at work and after more than an hour and a half of sitting on the world’s largest parking lot (L.A.’s infamous 405 freeway) all I want to do is chill. I head to my mailbox and what do I see? The Sports Illustrated College Football Preview. Needless to say I was stoked – it was a beautiful So. Cal day, I had already lit up my “Tomorrow’s Friday” fatty, which I rolled while sitting in traffic, and, like a kick to the throat, what page do I open the issue up to? A huge picture of Boise State’s Ian fucking Johnson being lionized as – THE MODERN VERSION OF EMMITT SMITH? Dear God — for fuck’s sake — Emmitt Smith? First of all, the article opened by comparing their “suave” demeanors, juxtaposing Emmitt’s TV dancing and Johnson’s wedding proposal foolishness (aren’t football players and cheerleaders prohibited from banging each other?). Either way, this is blasphemy. First of all, Johnson plays in the fucking WAC, and never was a conference so aptly named. This is a conference that allowed four teams to average more than 30 points per game (just for reference, the SEC only allowed one, LSU at 33 per) and allowed two teams to average 400 yards – per game — passing. The #1 team in the SEC last year in passing was Kentucky, and they didn’t even sniff 300 yards per game. Taking a quick look at their stats and, wait – I’m not even going to go there. During his tenure at UF, Emmitt faced the likes of Alabama, LSU, Florida State, Tennessee. Shit, You guys know. Who did Johnson face? Humm, mighty Sac St., Hawaii, Utah St. … you get the idea. Basically, the Special Olympics qualifiers of Division I football. Hey, I’ll give Johnson some credit, he’s a solid looking runner with some potential. But Emmitt is a legend. An absolute God in Gainesville – and Dallas for that matter. I understand the comparison in running styles and all of that jazz. But to compare this guy to one of the game’s best ever on both the pro and collegiate levels puts bubbles in my blood. What is it with the media and these teams that dominate weak conferences? And I won’t even get into the next page labeling Steve Slaton the next Tony Dorsett. I seriously had to double check to make sure I wasn’t reading ESPN The Magazine.
I would not hit it. She is marginal at best
What the fuck kinda of comment is this? And I won’t even get into the next page labeling Steve Slaton the next Tony Dorsett.Shit on Pitt and fuck Dorsett. He should be happy to mentioned in the same breath as Slaton. Dorsett could not carry Slatons jock
Remember when we thought Slaton was gonna be a good back before he “hurt” his wrist and started making fumbles and excuses for it.
Ian managed to get a century against OU, but the rest of the defenses he faced were pretty lacking… 29th, 23rd, 59th, 111th, 118th, 90th, 98th, 67th, 76th, 22nd, 52nd, and 16th
The good ones out of that were OU, Utah, and Wyoming…
I wonder what the numbers are on DMac or Slaton…
What a fuckin’ insult to Emmitt!
I guess the SI writer(s) must squint their eyes real hard and blur their vision to the point where Johnson looks a little bit like Emmitt because of the Orange and Blue. That has to be their only (somewhat) logical excuse for making such a mistake.
And HAHA AngryEer! Keep living in your fantasy world. I bet you’re LIVID that they compared Slaton to a player from your #1 Rival who is more decorated than any player in WVU history! That’s awesome!
Dorsett never would have bitched out over a sore wrist…
BTW…
Pretty sad when your biggest rivals are Marshall and Pitt…
Remind me again what conference LaDainian Tomlinson played in? Oh, that’s right, it was the WAC! How about Walter Payton…he MUST’VE played in the SEC right? Oh yes, it was the SWAC where he got his start.
Most great NFL players come from the BCS schools but certainly not ALL of them. Ian runs LIKE Emmitt Smith, he’s patient and tough, (played part of the season with a broken rib and 3 quarters with a punctured lung). Will Ian match ES’s NFL exploits? HUGE odds against it.
Never was a website more aptly named!
OBTW
I guess Emmitt wasn’t TOO insulted…
“I dont know what his 40 time is, and I dont care. It’s about finding a way to beat the guy trying to bring you down.Thats the way I approached it, and this kid is pretty good at that.” -Emmitt Smith
Hey fuckstick, your boy Ian Johnson has a looooooooooooooooong way to go before he can be mentioned in the same breath as Payton, Tomlinson, and E. Smith.
Emmitt had to say something nice. What is he going to say? Boise and johnson suck?