Cal was Tennessee’s Appy State

2007 September 2
by Jai Eugene

The national media conspiracy to discredit Tennessee is deeper and more widespread than previously thought. Don’t believe me? Look at publicity trumpeting Michigan’s loss in their opening cupcake game. The liberal left wing propaganda machine known as ESPN is touting Appy States’s upset win at Michigan as the one of the greatest upsets ever in college football. I disagree.

Cal’s win over Tennessee was just as poo-inducing,embarrassing, devastating and backbreaking. At least Michigan’s cupcake had some credibility. Like Lou Holtz said, at least Appy State has won some National Championships. Tennessee’s cupcake snuck up and spanked the Vols on national TV. After watching Cal’s DeSean Jackson high fiving his buddies while returning the punt for a touchdown I realized that just about anybody can and will beat Tennessee (except for Notre Dame). He was not flagged for excessive celebration by the PAC-10 officiating crew either.

As a Vol fan, I just have to keep telling myself that maybe Coach Fulmer was looking ahead to C-USA power Southern Miss. He knows that the Golden Eagles are easily the best college football team in the football tradition rich state of Mississippi. Or maybe he just wanted to remove the additional pressure of playing for a national championship from his young team in order to focus on winning the SEC. I can hear Coach say: “let’s just worry about winning the East and we can win the BCS next year when we are more experienced”.

In my wildest dreams I can see Les Miles screaming “No Mas” in the SEC-CG as the “mercy rule” is invoked as Tennessee applies a Nike All Day I Dream About Sex (ADIDAS) high top cleat to LSU’s throat. Then I wake up and see the real genius of Coach Fulmer, my Battle Captain.

Is there a bright side to getting beat by a cupcake? There sure as shit is. The obvious first answer would be an emphatic “NO”. But if you remove the emotion from the loss there is a tremendous upside. This loss was a downright stroke of genius in the recruiting wars. Coach Fulmer definitely seized this rare opportunity to solidify his standing with blue chip recruits nationwide. ESPN has played the game highlights over and over again, recruits watching will know that they can come Tennessee and they can play right away. Where else could a team get more free publicity than from ESPN? Sure Michigan and Notre Dame suck, but who is going to suck more in the eyes of the fickle blue chipper? Sucking bad equals job openings for next year’s recruits.

I applaud Phillip Fulmer for taking the requisite steps in ensuring that nobody in the country got more camera time saturday than the Vols.

7 Responses leave one →
  1. 2007 September 2
    Joel permalink

    The glass is truly half full…even if that glass is half fuul with George Dickel…or Patron (my personal preference)…

  2. 2007 September 2

    The big bad scary SEC. I can’t wait to post my Eers post game

  3. 2007 September 2

    You mean the Eers game where you said West Virginia was going to lay a goose egg on WMU? The real Mountaineers (since they have national titles) beat Michigan yesterday.

  4. 2007 September 2
    Joel permalink

    That 3-3-5 is a wall…the Berlin Wall. You guys should cue up that David Hasselhoff video before that wall fell whenever your defense takes the field. I thought the Vols defense sucked. Eer D allowed 24 pts to Western Michigan. I really can’t wait for that Louisville gane now…

  5. 2007 September 2

    man i cant remember the last time i was cheering on another sec team as much as last night. fuck cal. good to see xavier mitchell is alright, that was a scary moment.

  6. 2007 September 2
    "Smokin' the" Herb Tyler permalink

    “In my wildest dreams I can see Les Miles screaming “No Mas” in the SEC-CG as the “mercy rule” is invoked as Tennessee applies a Nike high top cleat to LSU’s throat. ”

    shouldnt it be an ADIDAS cleat??

  7. 2007 September 2
    the beaner stick that slapped rich rodriguez permalink

    i was disappointed in cal. their defense sucked and i thought the cal-berkley poon would be much better. fuck “the OC” for making me think mischa barton was going there. and whats up with those chodesmokers sitting up in the trees? i’d rather watch a game in the sec country and drink red kool aid and eat handi snacks and shart all day long.

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