The Cupcake Report: Brohms Away

Did you hear that Brian Brohm threw for 401 yards and five TDs?!? Wow. I mean, wow that the top-ten Lou-uh-vul Cardinals needed a Heisman-level effort to get past the Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee State. MTSU was up in they grill all night last Thursday. Methinks the “cupcakes” are getting a bit ferocious this year.

Across the border in Ohio, however, Cincinnati actually made duck soup out of the team from Oregon State, giving us another cupcake victory to add to the total, which now stands at (2-33).

In addition, Marshall led WVU 13-6 at halftime, only to succumb 48-23 by the close of the second half. Wisconsin was badgered by UNLV, and won by a measly seven-point margin. The convincing whoopings of the week came at Georgia Tech (69-14 over Samford) and Ohio State (20-2 over Akron).

Here’s this week’s slate:

Wyoming (2-0) @ Boise State (1-1): This one looks a whole lot more interesting since the Cowboys have butchered Virginia and Utah State so far this year, while Boise beat Weber State and lost to Washington on the road. This could be a squeaker.

Brigham Young (1-1) @ Tulsa (1-0): Brigham Young had a pretty strong effort against UCLA last week, so they should be able to handle the Golden Shower Hurricane. It looks dangerous to be on the road for this one, though.

Louisiana Tech (1-1) @ Cal (2-0): LaTech acquitted themselves well in the game against Hawaii last week, forcing Colt Brennan to sling for 548 yards in an attempt to overcome some pathetic defense. Cal struggled with Colorado State on the road before pulling away. Nonetheless, Cal is at home, and the smell of patchouli should overwhelm the Techsters and give the Golden Showers Bears another win.

Western Carolina (0-2) @ Georgia (1-1): Georgia might have lost to Ballsack’s directional Carolina school, but they won’t lose to Western.

Florida International (0-2) @ Miami (1-1): Miami probably needs cupcakes this year, after getting pounded by Oklahoma last week. But the main reason I wanted to mention this is because I just love to remember this:

Not at Da U, man!!!!! Aw hell naw!!!!

Western Michigan (0-2 ) @ Missouri (2-0): Missouri is on the verge of breaking into the top 25 after winning two reasonably tough DI games on the road to start the season. They’ve earned a bit of a relax with W. Mich and Illinois State coming to Columbia over the next two weeks. After that they face Nebraska, which could tell us a lot about who will win the Big XII north. In case we care.

Furman (1-1) @ Clemson (2-0): Meh.

Utah State (0-2) @ Oklahoma (2-0): Oklahoma has been beating the piss out of people since they found out they’d have to forfeit all of 2005. The Sooners have scored 130 points and allowed just 23. I don’t think Utah State should even get off the bus.

Buffalo (1-1) @ Penn State (2-0): Check with FIU to see if JoePa still likes to run up the score. All signs point to “yes”.

Norfolk State (1-0) @ Rutgers (2-0): Rutgers isn’t taking any chances in 2007. They’ve tromped Buffalo and Navy in their house, and now bring in this tiny MEAC school to complete the early going. If that weren’t enough, they play at Army in November for a little breather following that scary UConn game.

South Carolina State (1-1) @ South Carolina: SCS is the equivalent of a nice victory cigar for the Cocks after they served notice on the SEC by beating Georgia on the road last week. From here on out, they’ll have to prove it every week, though.

Louisiana-Monroe (0-2) @ Texas A&M (2-0): ULM is clearly still being punished for having the offensive Indians nickname, because they have been skunked by Tulsa and Clemson already this year, and now face a newly ranked A&M wrecking crew. I’d like to start a petition to get ULM to adopt a new mascot – Nutrias, anyone? Warhawks is just gilding the lily.

Ohio (2-0) @ Virginia Tech (1-1): Tech could use a break after an early beating at LSU. They’ll get one, with Ohio up next and tiny William & Mary the next weekend.

Citadel (2-0) @ Wisconsin (2-0): Look out, Big Ten fans. Citadel beat I-AA darling Appalachian State, so they might be trouble. Of course, they beat them in 2003, at home, so that might take some of the shine off of it. Look for Wisconsin to roll after dancing too cute with UNLV last week in the Saturday nightcap.

That’s it for this week. The schedule gets a little less dense next time out, so we can stretch out if necessary.