Ole Miss and Gates Preview

2007 September 18
by Jai Eugene

From frequent commenter TBST. Jerrell Powe would get a kick out of this, if he could read.

Should be a blowout, but I need something to do to get my mind off of this past weekend, so here it is…

The good news if you’re an Ole Miss fan:

  • The Gate’s last loss was an away game (@ the Barn).
  • Due to Herban’s complicated algorithm to figure out suspensions, there may be some Bull Gators out for the game. You would think that the Great Disciplinarian would “punish” players during the non-important (i.e. non-SEC) games, but you have to remember that Troy made a bowl last year, Ole Most did not.
  • Those gorgeous co-eds should distract Tebow. Someone who scored 890 on the SAT does not have the ability to focus their retard power on two things at once.
  • UF may be overlooking you. Ole Miss is squeezed between Tennessee and Auburn on the Geightor schedule.
  • Herban has been quoted as saying, “if my players can’t smoke it, they won’t play on it.” Ole Most has the only artificial surface in the SEC. We all saw the Gate’s struggles with mental midget Houston Nutt’s Arkansas squad in the SECCG last year. Artificial turf, and Auburn sod, is the Gate’s kryptonite.
  • Herban has never beaten The 0.
  • This is the Bull-gates second longest road trip of the season.
  • Florida has not beaten Ole Miss since 1995, and not in Ox-patch since 1994.
  • Ole Miss holds the edge in the all time series vs. the Gates, 11-9-1.

The bad news if you’re an Ole Miss fan:

  • An 11:30 kickoff in Oxford is not as intimidating as a night game on the Plains.
  • Herban is probably saving all the “discipline” for the Florida Atlantic game.
  • Tebow isn’t attracted to women. Co-ed distractions will not adversely affect Teabag.
  • First road SEC game for UF… no way Herban lets the Gates overlook this one.
  • The unique surface at Vaught Hemingway hasn’t exactly been friendly to Ole Miss either. Ole Miss is 5-9 vs. BCS opponents on the rug since that Eli guy went to New York.
  • The O has never beaten Herban, Les Miles, Tuberville, Fulmer, Nutt, or Helen Hunt Mark Richt as a head coach.
  • The Mascotless players will be getting tipsy and poppin’ their collars at The Library the night before, negating the jet-lag of the Bull-Gates.
  • All of those Ole Miss wins since 1995 were verses the architect of the 2006 Gate National Championship, Ron Zook. The guy who coached Ole Miss to wins over the Geightors you fired.
  • Ole Miss has a winning record vs. the Gates because Ole Miss was busy playing the Memphis’ and Indiana States’ of the football world when The Old Ball Sack was coaching in Gunsville.

I wish Jerrell Powe could play in this game and get a sack on Tebag. We would have got to see the NCAA record for lowest combined IQ between a QB and the person who sacked him.

In summary, COL Reb will be crying by halftime and I will be one game closer to collecting $50. Erik, thanks again for the donation to the beer fund. Gates by at least 35, and I am being conservative.

12 Responses leave one →
  1. 2007 September 18
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos permalink

    No love on this post, even from the gates? Damn…

  2. 2007 September 18
    gatorhippy permalink

    Jai…

    That pic would be better if you photshopped the bus number to 420

  3. 2007 September 18

    I think that either 890 or “8″ works well

  4. 2007 September 18

    The post got messed up this morning. I forgot to take down the static page of “Smokey Wept”. So it went unread, unwanted, unarmed and unafraid

  5. 2007 September 18

    I love it, TBST!

    I don’t think we win by 35, though. This is the first road trip this season and first one ever for a lot of the players.

  6. 2007 September 18

    Orgeron mentally defeats Meyer

  7. 2007 September 18
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos permalink

    Shaffa fares worse than his UT comrades, mark it down. Gates in a huge way…

  8. 2007 September 18

    um…Thanks for the Linkage, TBST. Click on some effin’ ads while ya’ll are over there. Daddy’s got debts to pay.

  9. 2007 September 18

    TBTS

    email me when you get a chance

  10. 2007 September 20
    kwajtiger permalink

    Excellent commentary and analysis, as always…

    I had no idea Tebow was so damn dumb, how did Shula let him get away…

  11. 2007 September 20
    Ears Whitworth permalink

    Shula “permitted” The Bow to slip away

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. SEC Power Rankings « Loser with Socks

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS