Les Miles wills the Corndogs to Victory

OK, this is the last post about Tebow and Florida’s losing streak (my fingers are crossed).

Les Miles mental abilities were always considered to be a liablity to the LSU Football Program. On second review, wow, it looks like Les Miles and LSU are for real. He was using his famous word that we all heard him use during the booster meeting after signing day: ‘fuck’ ! ! Each time the camera turned on him during this meeting he was mouthing his special word– over and over again. That special word would pay off in spades against Florida.

Les Miles, upon hearing these doubts of his intellectual agility, immediately charted a course to prove his critics wrong. His plan was to show the college football world that not even a 10 point deficit at home to a talented Florida team could stop his team in the fourth quarter.

In the first half of the game, Miles masterfully employed a tactful but cautious strategy in dealing with the estrogen laden Gator squad. Throughout the first half, Miles shocked the bewildered Corndog nation time and time again, by cunningly allowing Florida and QB Tim Tebow to gain large chunks of yardage, and all of the while his corndogs were collecting numerous penalties.

Heading into the locker room at halftime Miles had skillfully maneuvered his Corndogs in a deficit to the highly emotional PMS’ing Florida Gators. His confusing but deceptively brilliant strategy was chased into the locker room amid a smattering of boos and various coonass slang words of derision and disapproval from the unsuspecting Corndog nation.

Once in the locker room, Miles set his plan in motion by launching into a tirade of “Sabanish” proportions. Though the exact quotes from the tirade were unconfirmed, a few bystanders caught snippets of Miles ‘concerns’ to his team.

Among those ‘concerns’ were:

“You F’N defensive F’S, you can go F your F’N selves. You think I am going to F’N let you F up my F’N football team!?!”

“I don’t F’N care if that F’N official says F to you, you had better knock the F’N guys F’N head off!”

“F F’N Matt F’n Damon, Flynn. Put some F’n velocity in those F’n passes”

“F’N Dorsey? A F’N freshman is kicking your F’N ass. I should break my F’N foot off in your F’N ass.”

“Get the F outta here you F’N F’ers, can’t you see I am dropping an F’N deuce?”

Following Miles’ spirited motivational Lou Holtzish-Pep Talk to his team, the Tigers came out to force turnovers and convert numerous 4th down attempts without any assistance from Coach Herban Meyer’s personal SEC Officiating Crew. With two minutes left in the game the Tigers would never look back as they cruised to a smooth win beating the Sand Filled Labias from Gainesville by a final of 28-24. The beating that was administered was so severe that the Patron Saint of Panhandle Trailer Parks Timmy Tebow openly wept on the field.

Miles’ plan to fall behind such a scrappy Florida team, may have seemed risky to some. However, it is clear from this contest, that Les Miles is certainly in charge of this football team, this contest, the SEC and ultimately the BCS. Corndog fans can rest easy, knowing that they have a fiery coach that can will his team to a victory over any opponent.