It’s getting serenaded with “Rocky Top” by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.It’s worshiping an old dead drunk.

It’s losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to “Tuscaloser” and still thinking you were innocent.

It’s losing 9 of 10 to Tennessee and still thinking you’re better.

It’s claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain recognizes you with more than 6.

It’s making fun of other team’s “half a national championship,” when most of the ones you claim were shared.

It’s claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.

It’s claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.

5 coaches in 5 years.

It’s being on probation 2 separate times for cheating in less than 10 years.

Going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a “Bowl” game.

Biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.

Knowing your the best team every time you get beat.

Knowing that the NCAA is against you.

Knowing that UT owns you.

Waking up to nightmares of hearing “Rocky Top” over and over and over.

Mike Price.

Mike DuBose and Secretaries Day

It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.

It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP,
and Texas A&M.

It is having your 5th choice for a head coach turn you down.

It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to Auburn didn’t
make THEM fall in the polls.

It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn’t show up again to ruin homecoming.

It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.

It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.

It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don’t know how to use either.

It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.

It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the Tigers and yelling “War Eagle” when you’re called the Crimson Tide and have an Elephant walk the sidelines.

It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.

It is having a Big Least coach turn down a job offer.

It is throwing bricks through your coach’s window after a 10 win season.

It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying “well, at least we’re not as bad as Alabama”.

It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.

It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.

It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.

It is being the third best football team in your state.

It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.

It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire season.

It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.

It is having the AD with the most experience hiring Head Coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.

And last but not least, being the victim of a conspiracy 15 years in the
making involving Phillip Fulmer, the NCAA, the FBI and Osama Bin Laden.

Coach Bryant 16-7-2 (68%)……..Coach Fulmer 11-3 (78%)