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He never beat Auburn December 10, 2007

Posted by thegrillviper in SEC Football.
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Update: I just received this updated photo. 

The irony of this situation is pretty thick. As a Tennessee fan, I automatically take issue with Timbag winning the Heisman. But it is more than that. Not only has Timbag never beaten Auburn…he’s gay. Wait, that’s not what I wanted to say. Oh yeah, his shit team has 3 losses. Wow. That is funny. I always thought wins and losses were a key ingredient to the complicated algorithm used to select the winner…apparently, that doesn’t apply now. It was the main argument, however, when Peyton Manning was snubbed in 97 for Charles Woodson (Eric Berry’s stats this year are better than Woodson’s in 1997). “Peyton can’t beat Florida!”…oh the irony.

Enjoy your Heisman, Tim.

I hope Jerod Mayo breaks your face.

Comments»

1. Matt - December 10, 2007

yeah but he stomped tennessee

2. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

yeah but he makes out with other guys, you ever hear of butt secks? He does it

3. Matt - December 10, 2007

you would prolly know cause he prolly gave it to you in your A$$

4. Comans - December 10, 2007

Ya know, when I saw that Tim Tebow won the Heisman, I just kinda shrugged and thought “Eh. They got the wrong guy. Oh well.” and moved on, knowing that the NFL separates the wheat from the chaff.
Looking at the last 18 or so entries on this site, somebody’s got a man-crush. :)

5. Comans - December 10, 2007

Wow! And Jai didn’t even do this one! Shock of the year! So there’s two of ya’s!

6. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

@3 he was in the receive mode…if you get my drift?

7. Matt - December 10, 2007

@6 what ever you like to fantasize about is your business

8. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

and they say Jai is fixated on Bama. I think he is celebrating Timmmay’s historic win!!!

Chomp on my wiener

9. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

@7 kitchen to hot? I thought brokeback was OK in Gainesville these days?

10. Matt - December 10, 2007

i think you’re angry cause you know that the sooners are going to stomp all over West Vagina Mountaineers

11. LL - December 10, 2007

A UT fan resorting to the “he never beat Auburn” line? Wow. That’s sad.

12. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

oh my, a florida fan resorting to “the sooners are going to stomp all over West Vagina Mountaineers” line? Wow. That;s sad

13. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

chomp my wiener like joiner chomps ??

14. Drink a bEER - December 10, 2007

is that a line?

I had never heard it until I read it on this kick ass site.

And its true… he never beat Auburn.

15. LL - December 10, 2007

Him beating Auburn has nothing to do with the Heisman, UT, etc. But it’s typical of UT fans to use that type of logic. I harbor no ill feelings towards Tennessee or their fans, so I have a hard time understanding why they hate us Gators so much.

Maybe they’re upset because they’re 6-12 versus UF since 1990? Or maybe it’s because UF is 6-2 in SECCG whereas they’re 2-3? Or maybe it’s because UF has 3 Heisman winners to their 0? Or maybe they’re still upset that their Golden Boy Peyton never beat UF (or won the Heisman)? Or maybe it’s because both UF and UGA have multiple SEC Championships since they last won one? I don’t know.

In a way, UT is like the one friend you have who never gets laid. So he’s always high-strung, not thinking clearly, and upset at his friends who always get laid. He (UT) has a lot of jealousy and angst built up.

16. AngryEer - December 10, 2007

I think that all of you are bunch of dopesmoking thugs that cheat at football.

17. Drink a bEER - December 10, 2007

Typical of UT fans? Really?

The same logic was used in 1997 when “Peyton couldn’t beat Florida”…

that’s kind of funny considering Peyton actually won the SEC that year and only had one loss before the Heisman presentation. Tebow…well, he led his team to a 9-3 record. Spec-fucking-tacular.

You are choking on the irony. Even as a WVU fan (Slaton and White were both robbed) I have to admit that Tebow winning the Heisman is hilarious.

18. Alex Smith - December 10, 2007

So I’m waiting for a seat at a restaurant on Friday night, it was one of those classy joints where they put your picture on the wall if you eat their big burger. And the waitress comes by and hangs up a picture. The guy in the picture is wearing an orange & blue shirt, so my friend says, “Hey, look, he’s a gator.” None of us got up to take a close look at the picture.

So another 5 minutes or so goes by, and the guy turns the corner and my wife says, “That guy in the picture, it’s Tim Tebow!” So I turn to see, and sure enough, here comes Tim Tebow right at me. At first I’m playing it cool, just watching from afar. But then I realize, how often do I get this chance, so I got up out of my chair and went and shook his hand and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Great job!” and I gave him a pat on the back. I have not washed my hands, but I did touch myself in my Special/Sensitive Spot with the hand that touched Tebow!!

I then let him have sex with my wife and he made me pay for his burger.

19. Rudy Was Offside - December 10, 2007

@15

I guess all that football played before 1990 is irrelevant to the gator nation.

Navin “LL” Johnson: Uh, anything in this general area right in here. Anything below the stereo and on this side of the bicentennial glasses. Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble. Anything in this three inches right in here in this area. That includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers.

20. Terry Bowden's Secretary - December 10, 2007

Tebow has a MNC ring, SEC ring, a Heisman, Maxwell, and O’Brian and he is only a sophomore. Hmmmm…I don’t think he’s losing any sleep over the Auburn thing.

We might wear jean shorts but you still live in Alabama. Say ‘hi’ to your cousin for me.

21. Terry Bowden's Secretary - December 10, 2007

My mistake, you still live in Tennessee.

Still inbred but, with more mountains.

22. T-Bird, T-Bird I luv you - December 10, 2007

The only time I was ever in Gainesville, there were rainbows hanging from signposts and big banners promoting Gay Pride week, there were even people in shirts that said Gay Gator on them. So now if any Florida fan ever wants to make fun of another campus or school i just laugh and remember that drive through town. UT fans may have sex with their cousins, but atleast they are female cousins.

23. T-Bird, T-Bird I luv you - December 10, 2007

Oh and it’s a good thing Tebow won the Heisman this year, b/c he’s never going to finish a season at Florida healthy. Like Christopher Reeve, this Superman too will end up in a wheelchair.

24. Tebow's Crocs - December 10, 2007

Tebow and Joiner are members

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/

Chomp Chomp!!!

25. LL - December 10, 2007

@17:

There is no irony because Peyton never won the Heisman. Pay attention.

26. LL - December 10, 2007

@19:

Quit putting words in my mouth. I have never once said that UF football didn’t exist prior to ‘90. All Gators know that the arrival of Spurrier made the program what it is today.

But hey, if by continuously pointing that out it helps you deal with the fact that UF has accomplished much more than UT since 1990, then so be it.

27. LL - December 10, 2007

@23:

It takes a real pussy like yourself to root for a player to get injured.

28. Rudy Was Offside - December 11, 2007

@26

You never said it (not that I ever said you did), but you constantly infer to and use 1990 as a measuring stick as to how much better UF is over everyone. Point being that there was alot of football played before 1990 which most gator fans conveniently ignore.

29. Patrick - December 11, 2007

@28

That’s because football didn’t exist in Gainesville until 1990.

30. Busted Coverage » Daily Dump: Remembering The Vick, How To Get Arrested, Sauerbrun Crazy, Dave Chappelle in London, Tebow Wears Jorts - December 11, 2007

[...] Tebow accessorizes Heisman with jorts, cheap chains [Losers With Socks] [...]

31. Matt - December 11, 2007

I don’t know why all you UT fans got your panties in a bunch. It’s not like the florida fans got to cast a ballot for the heisman.

32. LL - December 11, 2007

@28 & 29

Before 1990 UF didn’t mean shit to UT. They had very little history with the exception of winning quite a few games in the 60s and some good years in the 80s (but they were on probation then). Hell, UF and UT didn’t even play every year. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that UF has always had a loyal fan following.

With the arrival of Spurrier in 1990 and the SEC going to 2 divisions very soon thereafter, UF and UT started playing every year and were by far the 2 best teams in the East year in and year out. Because of Spurrier’s dominance of UT and UF racking up championship after championship, UT fans grew to HATE UF. That is a FACT.

Beat your chest all you want — “How dare this team from Florida with no tradition start winning in the SEC! We won the National Championship in 1951 despite losing our bowl game! We won the NC when there were 37 College Football Polls each season, not like this BCS crap!” Hold on to the past. That’s fine with me.

I find it hilarious that UT fans constantly make fun of Alabama for always referencing their great tradition, yet UT does the same shit with UF. Hmmmm…….

Bottom Line: UF has accomplished more than UT over the past decade or so. And in this day in age where the majority thinks in the context of “what have you done for me lately”, that seems to stick with most people a little bit more than UT’s rich history. It bothers you that UF’s emergence from decades of mediocrity tends to overshadow UT and be a constant thorn in their side.

33. Drink a bEER - December 11, 2007

It bothers YOU that Steve Speed Slaton and Patrick Touchdown White are too talented… the Heisman can’t be given to two players so…the outstanding talent on my eers team is so much that you cant give just one award

oklahoma… we’re coming

34. LL - December 11, 2007

Slaton and White = Irrelevant

Just ask Pitt.

35. Drink a bEER - December 11, 2007

That is a laugh!

WVU will be ranked higher than the Geightors to start the 2008 season. 2008 will be a blast for eer fans. We are going to win it all.
Speed Slaton. Touchdown White.

Timbo Teaman will not make it through 2008 uninjured.

36. LL - December 11, 2007

You like to laugh? It’s laughable how you all were 28 point favorites and 60 minutes away from playing for the NC but you couldn’t close the deal….. at home…. against a 4-7 Pitt team from the lowly Big East.

And look at you. You’ve already started up the same mantra you’ve been saying for the last 2 years now - “Wait til next year.” LMAO

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Tebow played through his injuries. Unlike a pussy QB in Morgantown.

37. stEERs and quEERs - December 11, 2007

What does it matter? We are in a BCS bowl…you get to play a team that lost to app. state…and they will probably beat you. You know who else is in a BCS bowl? UGA, who HUMILIATED you on national TV. That fat 77 guy is still dancing in your face. Your slave handler coach insured Tebow would win the heisman by running him like a fullback over and over and over again. Tebow is too dumb (890 SAT) to know any better. For his sake I hope he goes pro after next year because I don’t think he will survive. Unlike Speed Slaton and Touchdown White. Which brings me to another point, your coach, Suburban Meyer, is taking credit for RR’s patented spread option offense. Typical gators trying to steal the Eer Champion’s thunder. Speed Slaton.

38. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

Cows and Fags (#37):

“Typical gators trying to steal the Eer Champion’s thunder”…

Champions of what???

Choking on the big dick that was the Eers’ BCS CG berth…

All they had to do was beat 4 TD underdog Pitt…

IN MORGANTOWN…

And their long elusive MNC was theirs for the taking…

That shouldn’t have been too tough…

BUt apparently for the Eers it is…

39. LL - December 11, 2007

“What does it matter?” Hey, if looking at it like that helps you deal with the fact that you all pulled one of the biggest choke jobs EVER, so be it.

“Eer Champion”? What the fuck have you all ever won?! NOTHING! No National Championships, No Heisman Winners, Nothing. Except a Sugar Bowl victory over UGA 2 years ago. That’s it. That’s the only thing you have ever won.

The only time WVU ever came close to a NC they got waxed by Notre Dame in 1988. Then, WVU bitched about being undefeated and left out of the NC picture in 1994 only to have a 10-2 Florida team run a clinic on them in the Sugar Bowl 41-7.

Face it. You were never anything better than a 4th place team in the Big East before Miami, VATech and BC skipped town. Now, you reap the benefits of playing in a weak conference filled with 40,000 seat stadiums and Conference USA rejects. ‘Eers having been spouting off for 2 years now that they’re going to be playing in the BCS title game only to choke against the weakest of the weak in their own conference.

Sorry I wrote for so long. You might want to go check on that meth you have cookin’ out in the shed.

40. Jai Eugene - December 11, 2007

LL

Those Eer fans are right behind bammeroids for delusion

Check this link:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/sioncampus/12/11/campus.clicks1211/index.html

41. Holiday chEER - December 11, 2007

USF whipped Auburn. they beat you guys

their kickar even did the fuckin chomp

owned

42. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@41 hell yes

43. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

Hmmm…

Which is worse…

Being beaten by Auburn with no MNC expectations for the season…

OR

Being splittailed by a 4 TD underdog in your backyard with a MNC berth dangling in your face…

44. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

/WVU in the BCS
//UF in the BrokeBack Bowl
///Tebow kisses guys

45. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

Lemme guess, EEr fans…

Wait til next year?

46. gatorgirl - December 11, 2007

Peyton Manning (0-4) agains the mighty Gators
too bad so sad Dirty Vols

47. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

Mqybe we get UF next year and Timmy can experience a 3-3-5 beatdown too.

Speaking of beatdowns, what is the rumor of Percy whipping Fayson’s ass? Then Herban covering it up with the ‘migraine’ story? Not that Harvin has ever had an anger management problem in the past or anything

High 5 Percy!!

48. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@46, this is WVU and UF smack. Go fix me a sandwich

49. Holiday chEER - December 11, 2007

Tim Thebag 0-2 Versus Auburn

Speed Slaton and Touchdown White would make The Bag look like a, um, a bag.

50. gatorgirl - December 11, 2007

angry eer - written by tennessee fan. dork
go play with your boyfriend

51. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

What about Noel??? he seems ok with his speed and shape shifting

52. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@50 Iron my shirt

53. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

What about Devine?

Has he pulled even with Jamal in the “First to field my own football team with kids from different moms” yet”?

54. Britney SpEERS - December 11, 2007

Why don’t you go wax your stache, honey?

55. Brian - December 11, 2007

Thank goodness for the weak schedule and the BCS contract or WVU would be…well, I’m just not sure.

Hey Eeyore, have you finished that break down of how Kendra=Tebow?

56. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

@ 40
Jai based on what i have seen lately, i have to disagree and place WVU fans as the most delusional fan base in the country. As much as i hate to admit, bama has actually won a few championships. WVU fans seem to think they have won championships or that they are ineveitable. They still consider that sugar bowl win over UGA as the greatest win of all time (nevemind that they almost blew a 28 point lead).

Bottom line, WVU has never accomplished anything (other than a couple of Big LEast titles), but they think they are the best fucking team of all time. How can they not be the most delusional fans in the country?

57. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@55

/You have mixed up the BE with the Big 10.

//Kendra was faster than Tebow
///Kendra was more bullish that Tebow
///Thank whatever pagan god that you gators worship that you will not feel the wrath that is coming down on the Sooners

58. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

Once more Gators:

Speaking of beatdowns, what is the rumor of Percy whipping Fayson’s ass? Then Herban covering it up with the ‘migraine’ story? Not that Harvin has ever had an anger management problem in the past or anything

High 5 Percy!!

59. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

All this jealousy and vitriol over Tebow’s heisman reminds me of Ayn Rand…

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius”

Suck it, MediocritEers…

60. mikeeerfan - December 11, 2007

jealousy haha

the award is obviously worthless as the author of this post pointed out. like they did with peyton in 97…they just give it to whoever the fuck they want to. i dont see how you can bash tenesee fans, they won their fucking division

61. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

All these WVU post may have different names on them, but it is quite obvious that they are the same person

62. mikeeerfan - December 11, 2007

look kids!

its sherlock fucking holmes

63. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

I am but one, the others? I can not vouch for them. I welcome my Gold Rush Brothers

64. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

still waiting on a Harvin response…..

65. artiger - December 11, 2007

They’re probably just some of your cousins that you have been bangin’ this afternoon

66. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@65 Watch it, or I will withdraw my support of LSU vs the Failboats

67. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

So, Mikeer…

If it’s worthless then why are you here pissing and moaning about it?

Seems you and the grill visor could just dismiss it and walk away…

Since it’s so worthless…

Right?

Right?

68. artiger - December 11, 2007

@66 Please do

69. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@68….Amazing…..

70. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

Angry, I don’t think anybody that posts here gives two ass squirts what you think…

71. artiger - December 11, 2007

Not even one squirt

72. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

Can we get another “Wait till next year” from the Big LEast champs?

73. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

@72? What BCS bowl is your team playing in??? Auburn, correct?

74. cantspellcitruswithoutUT - December 11, 2007

I cant believe how dumb Tennessee fans really are. I try to give the benefit of the doubt to most, but come on. Tebow had 51 TD’s. Your boys got beat by 39. Wait it looks better put this way: 59-20. Thats disgraceful. You also disgraced the SEC by getting manhandled by Cal. Seriously, Cal? He has started 1 game against Auburn so that argument is ridiculous as well. You’re an idiot is basically what I’m trying to say.

75. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

@ angryQueer

Auburn playing in a BCS bowl is not the issue. They had a down year. The issue is all the smack you quEERS talk about your second rate, big game choking, about to be irrelevent football team.

76. gatorhippy - December 11, 2007

Doubtful, Joker…

Angry realizes the Eer’s ship has sailed…

Slaton goes pro…

Rich Rod goes to a real school…

Pat White joins Chris Leak in the AAFL…

And Noel Devine transfers to USF in order to be closer to his 25 kids and not get smash mouthed by the Bull defense again…

No fear though…

WVD will be talked about again in 8 - 12 years…

It’s their cycle…

77. LL - December 11, 2007

@40

Jai:

Congrats on making it to SI.com!

Also, you are correct about the WVU Delusion.

78. LL - December 11, 2007

hippy:

You’re right. Rod would bolt out of there in a heartbeat if the right job came open. He said at the beginning of last season that he’d never leave Morgantown yet he couldn’t talk to the Bama people fast enough.

79. Jai Eugene - December 11, 2007

Thanks LL. It is the second time. I hve no idea how or who submitted us. Did you reead the Tebow interview, where they ask about the photo?

80. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

Rod will never leave. He is WV’s favorite mexican son

Borges

81. LL - December 11, 2007

Jai:

Yeah, I read it the other day. Good shit. I wore jorts in elementary school. Who didn’t? I had no eye for fashion then.

Did you see Colt Brennan wearing jorts on ESPN? What with those be called? Aloha Jorts? Mella-ka-leek-e-maka Jorts?

82. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

@ AngryQueer

was that another attempt at a 3rd grade smack against Auburn?

83. LL - December 11, 2007

@80

You just wait, ‘Eer. Rod is just waiting for the right time to go all Ole Miss Tuberville on you guys.

84. lawvol - December 11, 2007

Well, maybe Tommy Tubberville should win the Heisman…
============
- lawvol: http://Gate21.net - Life, the Universe, & College Football

85. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

well I sure as hell have never worn jorts, way to Brokebackish

86. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

Wingnut and the pinebox….Why did Borges leave?

87. Jokers Wild - December 11, 2007

@ lawvol

I went to Life University

88. P-Funk - December 11, 2007

Okay, I tried to resist, but I couldn’t resist the urge. Let me attempt to put it in the proper perspective for you. Before I began, let me first say that I have tremendous respect for the SEC, its teams, and it’s history of excellence.

As for Auburn, while Tebow has yet to beat Auburn, let’s look a little deeper and examine why Auburn is not the measuring stick of greatness in the West. In order to do this we have to look at what Auburn accomplished before & after the conf split into divisions in ’92. Pre-divisionsal split, Auburn went 86-31 in the 80’s with 2 outright SEC titles in ‘83(11-1) & ‘87(9-1-2) matching that of LSU & Alabama and shared conference titles in ’88 & ’89. Although there was competitive football being played in the West, there is no clear cut dominant champion that can make the claim as the most dominant team of that division during that time period. On the flip side, during the 80’s, Florida went 76-38 with 0 conf titles. Georgia however won 2 outright conference titles in ’80 & ’82, with a shared conf title in ’81. Tennessee had one title in ’85, and a shared title in ’89. Again, no outright sign of dominance by either team in the East either, but I’ll give a slight edge to Georgia since they did win a national title in ’80 and played for another in ’81 & ’82.

Now, let’s look at how the trend switches after the conf split into divisions in ’92. Auburn, went 72-40-3, and won the Western division in ‘97(10-3). Florida went 102-22, with 5 conf titles, and 1 national title. Florida in this particular decade was the gold standard by which excellence was measured by.

As for this decade, LSU has 2 conf titles, Florida has 2, Georgia has 2, Auburn has 1. I’ll give slight advantages to LSU & Florida because we have the only national titles from the conference. What I’m saying is this, while every game is indeed important in the SEC, Auburn was never really “the team to beat.” I know that Auburn pulled off big wins both this year and last year, but what did Auburn go on to do to solidify great victories…nothing. Victories over Florida & LSU do more to validate a successful season for your programs than they do for ours, just ask Georgia. There’s a lot more I’m ready to say, but I’ll just wait for the replies to come rolling in.

89. AngryEer - December 11, 2007

P-funk

nice, but I wonder if the comments on this post are dead

90. LL - December 11, 2007

P-Funk:

Good work. Nice to see someone referencing fact rather than opinion.

91. artiger - December 11, 2007

Not disagreeing with much of your post, but LSU has 3 conf titles this decade, 01, 03, and this year. Auburn did have that one undefeated season, where they got the shaft from the national title, but overall I agree with you.

92. Mountain Momma's Are Fat - December 13, 2007

Is this really WestbyGod fans talking smack? Really? The team that got whiteashed by who? Oh yeah, Pitt. Effing rednecks.

93. Brad - December 13, 2007

I beg to differ with you on your comment about Berry’s stats being better than Woodson’s in 97.

Woodson:

1 rushing TD
2 receiving TD’s

8 INT’s with 1 TD

Punt Return 1 TD

Berry:

No offensive TD’s

5 INT’s with 1 TD

It’s not even close!!!!!

Check it for yourself: Woodsons stats: http://bentley.umich.edu/athdept/football/fballam/aawoodsn.htm

Berry’s stats: http://livestats.epiccycle.com/tennessee/boxscores/07-08/football/TEAMCUME.HTM#TEAM.IND

94. Brad - December 13, 2007

My bad, he didnt have the TD on the INT’s. Mistyped it. But still not close.

95. Brad - December 13, 2007

” It was the main argument, however, when Peyton Manning was snubbed in 97 for Charles Woodson (Eric Berry’s stats this year are better than Woodson’s in 1997). ”

NOPE!

96. R2toA2 - December 15, 2007

If Peyton was so great why wasn’t he named to the list of College Football’s 25 Greatest Players of All Time by ESPN. I am pretty sure Woodson is on there at #11.

97. G8RB8R - December 18, 2007

I’m a Gator, and I have always felt that Manning should have won the Heisman in ‘97. UT was lucky to get him - imagine if he had been the starter at UF - not only would he have won the Heisman, possibly twice, but UF might have won another National Championship in 1997. The lack of a good QB at UF in ‘97 cost us several games that year, the loss at LSU knocked us from #1. I truly believe that there was a bias against Manning by the Heisman voters who did not want to see another SEC QB win the award two years in a row. Woodson couldn’t carry Manning’s jock on his best day.

98. Nice Video, Football Season Needs to Get Here « Loser with Socks - April 28, 2008

[...] And Gates… He Never Beat Auburn [...]

99. Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers - 7.22.08 « THE WAR EAGLE READER - July 22, 2008

[...] The Gainesville Sun includes Tommy Tuberville in its list of “glamour coaches” and says he is best known for “Leading Auburn to an undefeated season in 2004 — and not having the opportunity to play for the national championship.” (The Gainesville Sun, July 21) I guess it is better than being known for this. [...]