Merry Christmas Fatty………..
The following advice is my Christmas present to you. It can change your life if you buy into it:
Most of you are fat. I know you are. Don’t lie. You are on a computer right now reading this, right fatty? If you use a computer, you are likely fat.
I love to eat. A couple of years ago, I started getting a little chubby. In fact, I ballooned up to 245lbs. I was still extremely handsome, but today I maintain a weight of 190-195lbs and I have done so for about 16 months. Strangely enough, I eat more often and in greater quantities than ever before.
How do I do it? Well, I am not going to tell you just yet. Because I need you to open your mind first. Ok, are you ready? Here goes…..
I eat a low glycemic diet. This is NOT a low carb diet. This is much easier. Basically if you can find it in a natural, minimally processed state, then pick it up and eat it if it is not poisonous nor illegal.
The goal of the low glycemic diet is to avoid foods that cause a spike in blood sugar and the related insulin surge. I am not a scientist but insulin levels play a large role in weight management and if you are a fat white guy you should do some research into insulin resistance. My research tells me that most of us were not made to deal with the mass quantities of processed sugars we consume, specifically in the form of processed sugars, high fructose corn syrups, and processed flours.
Once again, I am simply somebody who did the research and bought into the low GI way of life, and I promise you it is well worth it.
It is not the Atkins Diet. I eat tons of fruit (grapefruit, apples, pears, etc) and vegetables. I only avoid a few, the most difficult to avoid being the potato.
If you follow this diet, after a week you will notice that your crazy cravings will vanish. That is because your blood sugar levels have stabilized. You will only eat when you are hungry. I was probably a food addict at one point, thinking about my next meal as I was polishing off the previous one. Not anymore.
I still eat like a fucking champion, but I eat to win. I don’t eat to end up in a coma an hour later. Lay off the white bread, the junk food, the sugar. Replace the sweets you eat with fruit as fructose doesn’t have the same negative effect on your blood sugar as sucrose. Study the Glycemic Index and the Glycemic Load.
If you are fat, you need to do this starting today. You will find out within a few days that your years of crazy dieting have been completely unnecessary. Your life will change. And I’m not even selling anything.
Do it fatty. Do it.
If anybody needs or wants advice, please let me know. I want to help. I can provide sample meal plans, snack suggestions, whatthefuckever.
I just want you to start living like a man again.
Vote here
I don’t want piss on your parade, but this ain’t new stuff. You’re absolutely correct, and physicians and dieticians have been saying it for years, more fruits, vegies, and high-fiber cereals and grains, fewer refined sugars and processed foods. And the reasons are just how you outlined it above. It’s just a matter of giving a shit and wanting to do it.
I don’t need your faggy-tennessee diet. My jorts fit just fine.
artiger – I understand what you are saying. But I think somebody hear it and think Atkins or Low Carb and it is very different. It is not difficult at all to follow and the pounds really do melt away.
fuck you i love being fat as hell.
pass the chocolate covered oreos and strawberry quik bitches.
Fat is underrated. Which leads to the greatest of all oxymorons in NCAA Football. Charlie Weis. Is Fat is so terribly underrated then how can this big pile be so Overrated? I suggest Charlie take a look at http://www.notredone.com , buy himself a tee shirt and gimme 20…
In high school, I started for the football team at defensive back. In college, I managed to run at least three times a week. I’m now in law school, and I keep waiting for the day in which my out of my league girlfriend comes in with the ultimatum to either lose thirty pounds off my fat ass or lose her (I’m actually joking, but I’m tired of having people think that I must be her brother when we go out). I need any advice I can get, so meal plans (preferably on the cheap) would be a great help. Thanks again, and Roll Tide. trblaylock1621@yahoo.com
i did/do atkins….and it was very similar to what you propose. contrary to popular belief, atkins isn’t bacon and 20 oz. steaks smothered with eggs and cheese like it was portrayed in the press…
my rules are, little or no processed food and i avoid ‘white foods’ (potatoes, rice, pastas) i get carbs, but i get them from fruits mostly.
i went from 205 to 165 about 4 yrs. ago…..and i’ve kept it off. size 38 to 32 jort
go gators……
My advice:
Eat Les; Move Moore
Help!!! Gained and lost a small village in my lifetime (I’m 62). Been on every diet including Atkins way back in the 70’s. Lost 60 lbs 2 years ago so I wouldn’t look like a parade float walking our daughter down the aisle. Unfortunately two years later I’ve put most of it back on. I don’t much care for the weigh (lol) I look and I’m sure at my age it’s not healthy. I’d be very interested in learning more i.e sample meal plans, snack suggestions, whatthefuckever, websites. You’re my last hope Obe Wan. Thanks.
@9 Crash tin76cup@windstream.net
This is gay
Speed Slaton and Touchdown White.
I realize this post is antiquity now, but, lloydbraun, you might not like seeing this in one of the AMA publications a few days ago:
Study finds healthy people have higher lifetime healthcare costs than obese people.
The AP (2/5, Cheng) reports that “[p]reventing obesity and smoking can save lives, but it doesn’t save money,” because “[i]t costs more to care for healthy people who live years longer,” according to a study published online Monday in the Public Library of Science Medicine. Lead author Pieter van Baal, an economist at the Netherlands’ National Institute for Public Health and the Environment, and colleagues, “created a model to simulate lifetime health costs for three groups of 1,000 people: the ‘healthy-living’ group (thin and non-smoking), obese people, and smokers.” This “model relied on ‘cost of illness’ data and disease prevalence in the Netherlands in 2003.” The authors “found that from age 20 to 56, obese people racked up the most expensive health costs.” Yet, “because both the smokers and the obese people died sooner than the healthy group, it cost less to treat them in the long run.”
So, WTF? Being healthy is just a drain on the rest of us in society? Like Robert Earl Keen said, “it all comes down to livin’ fast or dyin’ slow”.