I AM ALABAMA: The Weedeater Bowl Primer
A message to the Colorado Buffalo Fans from an Alabama Fan (HT Adam Tide and we added just bit if extra Capstone Mulekick Mustard).
Read and heed:
“I am looking forward to our prestigious pre-New Years Bowl game in ritzy Shreveport this year but I do not want any problems. Whenever I go to an away game or a visiting team comes into Tuscaloosa to play Alabama I make it a point to get a few things cleared up before the game starts.
First off, you guys are playing The University of Alabama, the Capstone University of the State of Alabama. We are not some 2nd rate team from some backwards conference. Alabama is among the elite. The best. A tradition that goes back a long way. We have so many National Championships, so many bowl wins, SEC Championships, high national rankings, etc….and quite honestly Colorado, you don”t have squat. Our list of accolades goes on and on and we just are not interested in “Virgin” Programs like Colorado. Understand that with that kind of resume comes respect. We expect the kind of respect that can only be earned. Alabama fans carry that respect whether we are at home or on the road and a few things need to be understood. When Alabama “Rolls” into a town (like Shreveport) you are seeing one of the movers and shakers in all of college football and the fans are no exception.
First, there will NOT be any yelling in my ear during the game. I darn well don’t plan on driving all that distance to your stadium to have some guy from a lesser school yell in my ear. I will ask you one time to stop and no more. I don’t mind clapping but this incessant yelling is out. If you continue then I will take a physical solution that you will not like. I will NEVER provoke but if you guys think that yelling in my ear is gonna be tolerated you are in for a big surprise. Same thing for the kids. Sure, they can be there but keep them out of my area and keep them quiet. If you cannot control the kids then you will be held responsible and I will take matters into my own hand. We don’t put up with that crap in Tuscaloosa and we darn well aren’t gonna drive all that distance to your place and put up with it.
If I have to go to the restroom I don’t wait in line, I go to the front. This is an area
where I have encountered some problems before so I am just making it clear now. A Coaches Gone Wild! fan has earned the right to not wait in some bathroom line and we choose to not do it. If you have a problem with this you had better go to a “home” restroom or to one where the Alabama fans are not in. If you do decide to make an issue out of it then be prepared to face a physical solution. Ditto for concessions. We go to the front of the line. Not out of spite or to try to show you up. It is all about showing respect for the greatest teams of yore folks, the Crimson Tide. RTR
Again, if you have a problem with this I advise you to keep away from me or the Alabama contingent. I am very upfront and honest when I tell you that it ain’t nothing for me to up and kick a man’s ass. Done it several times and I’ll do it again if pushed. NEVER will I provoke, though. It is YOU that determines my actions and ultimately your fate. If you understand where I and the Alabama folks are coming from and what is expected then we will have a great time and no problems will ever arise.
Please understand that I am NOT coming (to Shreveport) to cause problems as that is the last thing on my agenda. It is a tradition and respect that Alabama has and you need to realize this and you WILL respect it. We can laugh and have a good time but I just wanted to get a few things understood beforehand. I hope all goes well and there …
Sincerely RTR,
A Bama fan in Opp
Vote here
Alabama was .500 this year. Maybe Bama fans should wait for a better year to start talking about crap like this.
you must be looking for a physical solution Turd…..
God Bless the University of Alabama and Coach Nick Saban
I think everyone’s just jealous that their team can’t play in lovely Shreveport. Yahoo just put out a very flattering piece about how great the Independence Bowl is. Read this for more :
http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/news;_ylt=ArKkBa118fFj0zVq1yUZGLUcvrYF?slug=shreveportthegrandaddyof&prov=tsn&type=lgns
Man, nothing beats great press like that!
This is exactly how I have Bama fans pictured in my mind. //Anyone remember that cocksucker, Journalism is for Rockstars Blogger? This is him, what a fucking arrogant prick
damn right. We`ve earned those rights. Rtr. Got 12?
And journalism is for rock stars blog kicks the shit out of all of the ville trash that gets posted on here. Rtr.
@7 no, and neither does your cheating ass
@8 that guy is the biggest pussy ever
If anyone thinks Mack Brown’s stepson is bad, check out which team made the “off the bench assist” famous:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/features/the100?index=27
His explanation said it all.
Dont hate on the capstone cuz you villes dont got 12. UThug doesnt even got 12 sec championships. We got 12 national championships. Rtr!
I read that the 12 number is a lie. You fucks can’t count
Cheating is deeply ingrained?
Who is Albert Means?
UCheat talking about other people, lol. Make any excuse why yall aint got 12! RTR
Hey Bama Dumbass, look at my screen name. Eer is for WVU. Remember last year? When your school FAILED in stealing our coach?
I read the article on your NCs, I think 5 is a more accurate number.
You guys need to cut down on the testosterone and have some popcorn.
You mean the coach that lost to pitt thats now going to the school that lost to appy state? LOL. I will stick with coach saban. RTR!
Don’t forget Bama missed out on Tebow too.
And why is it that the only people with three names are Presidential assassins and Bama quarterbacks?
WAR DAMN EAGLE!
LOL Logan Young!!! Saban of 6-6 Weedeater Bowl Fame that was Bama’s 3rd choice?
Smart move
Anyone have the police report off of the egg nog/tree attack? Or was that covered up?
I heard Shula told Tebow “THanks but no Thanks”. How do you get 3 names?
Sarah Jessica John Parker WIlson….please count again
Monday’s headline: Colorado Bangs Bama.
The only tradition you have is a crappy Steely Dan song. From wikipedia:
It was originally speculated that the song was written about the Wake Forest University Demon Deacons, but in a Rolling Stone interview, Donald Fagen said “Walter and I had been working on that song at a house in Malibu. I played him that line, and he said, “You mean it’s like, ‘They call these cracker assholes this grandiose name like the Crimson Tide, and I’m this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, Deacon Blues?’ ” And I said, “Yeah!” He said, “Cool! Let’s finish it!”
Here at Pappy’s Cajun Kitchen in ritzy Shreveport, we have opened our hearts and pots and pans to all Crimson Tide fans. The Saban special is a delicious Nutria dinner, cooked 5 different ways, complete with salad and all the side fixins you can eat, for $12.99. We here at Pappy’s know how much you Alabama love the word 12.
Dessert is a slice of Logan Young Pound Cake a la mode, a dessert rich you wanna give someone a hundred dollar handshake after you eat it…
Unmarked bills please Pappy. The Bammers are going to want to bury Logan with the Bear
Alabama…pshaw suck balls shit eaters. The Great State of Texas..we can get physical…bitches
Talk all the shit you can. You know we are the foundation of the nations top conference. The truth hurts. What just happened? JPW just threw another touchdown pass against that vawl secondary. RTR
@28 you are the dumbest fucker in this thread. There is not a single Tennessee fan in this thread.
But since you are one deluisonal and persistent motherfucker I tried this for you:
in hopes of channeling the Bear, I funneled a bottle of George Dickel today. I seem to hear someone ’s voice in the back of my mind, but unless the Bear is telling me to “turn that damn tv down”, I think it’s just my wife. I still think Saban will win out and have a great year recruiting (Praise Logan Young’s Visa Card and the Red Elephant club).
Even west vigina fans show their envy of the nations most elite program. RTR
I’ll preface this by saying that I am not a fan of either Alabama or Colorado, and I couldn’t care less who wins the mediocrity bowl, but dude, you’re a douchebag.
Colorado won a National Championship, was one of the best colleges of the 90’s, and was in a big time BCS bowl this decade (more than you can say for Alabama). Not to say that Alabama is one of the most prestigious programs in the country, but calling Colorado a “virgin” school is complete bullshit.
Alabama hasn’t done shit in years, you’re lucky you didn’t get the death penalty and you should be thanking the NCAA after every game and practice. No one gives a shit about your history if you haven’t done anything in years. You don’t hear SMU fans crowing about their achievements, have you?
you dang aubren and vile fans are losers. why can us not leave us alone? you are making fun of us and it hurts my feelings and the rest of my friends. and yes we have mullets and i would appreciate you not pokin fun at us for that too. you bama haturs should go find a life summers else. go enjoy ur good season and our utter suckyness but this website is re-dickulus. makin fun of the tide. i cant believe yall have stooped this low. thats embearissing. we here at “mullet nation” as u call it, would never ever poke fun at aubren or tenessee. so why dont u grow up.
dont yall know what it means to be a “tide” fan? there is a lot of pride in pullin fer the tide. do you not know how many nashunal champunships we done won?
bama is rich with tradition, just like army and brown and yale and cornell. they got tradition too like us. everybody should respect us for who we are.
rtr
I’m fired up now. As a professional gambler, I know better than to bet with my heart, however, I just mortgaged my double wide and I’m putting it all on Bama to win the highly respected Weedeater Bowl.
By this time next week, I’ll be relaxing in my brand new above ground pool. RTR
I have to admit, I have had sleepless nights studying the Alabama game film. What will Saban do, let SJJPW throw 35 times right at the center or left guard? How should I defense the 15 3rd and 9’s Saban will have throughout the course of the game?? What will we do if Saban, once in the red zone, tries to just kick field goals instead of wearing out the young bull SJJPW’s arm more? He easily is the best SEC QB ever. Reminds me of Joe WIllie (without the drinking) and the Snake (w/o the IRS issues).
I like yoga
there is so much jealousy and fear from the barn and the viles and they nowe it is just a matter of time before we dominate them again. we are the best football team in the SEc this year and they nowe it. we gotta support Saban and keep him from jumping to the Big East. this year aint no rebuilding year, we are BACK baby! Roll TIDE!
@32 We Bamma fans are proud of our dunkle, thesaurus, dictionary, encyclopedia and misc. other titles we awarded ourselves, so you aubies and forineers don’t get arrogant with your “winning record”, your “victory over ms state”, your “perennial top 10 ranking” and your “academics” cause we got 12, 17 or 34!! we got 12, 17 or 34!! … and they’re all as legitimate as your people’s national championship!
This dude is a poor man’s 20ozBulldog. He even stole the “we pee first” line. Get some original material you loser. And get prepared for your beatin’ in Athens next year. We BEG you to come over there talkin’ that garbage.
We Got 12!!1!1!!!Eleventy!W00T!! Yeah. Right.
Awww……bama fans are so cute. Always trying to win football games with past championships. So blinded by history they can’t see that everything they touch rots. Ranting and raving about their championships as another Tide team is orally violated by Tommy Tuberville and his supposedly inferior school. Luckily the rest of the country ignores them because other schools are off contending for championships in the present era of football, as they stew in their own world with no one to listen to them talk about Bear Bryant for the 9,000,000,000,000th time.
@38 Where does it say that he claimed this as his own work? for god sake, it is in quotes, in italics and he even cites a bammer as asource. Fuck off Dawg
I wonder which Vol will own UGA next?
Fuck off Dawg…
The joke’s on you sucker. CU fans don’t even travel to away games! HA!
But seriously, CU football started in 1890, so calling us a virgin program doesn’t really make sense. Bama started in what, 1892?
Congrats on kicking our ass though.
um…..
too bad you’re so poor you have to DRIVE from Alabama to Shreveport. I live in Dallas, and I don’t fucking DRIVE to Shreveport.