Alright that’s it!  I gotta get my shit and go, they are going to fucking kill me!  Gardner Webb was bad, but San Diego.  I think this makes me the shittiest coach in Kentucky History

 I am so dead.  I think I saw this in a horror movie one time where the people break down in the middle of the Kentucky woods.  Probably somewhere near this Lexington Hell-Hole.  Shit I can’t remember if they raped them or ate them, but I don’t want either part of that, though Eliza Dushku is fucking hot!

Okay so I need to pack up my shit. 

Father of the Year Mug – Check
Playbook – Well I obviously don’t need that.
Cowboy Hat – Check
Cindy Lauper’s Greatest hits c.d. – Check
Devil Wears Prada collector’s edition – Check
“Don’t Mess With Texas” T-shirt – Check

Alright I think that’s everything I’ll really need.

Anybody got a lift.  I need a lift…. Come on.  Will drive your championship basketball program into the ground for a lift.

Where are you going Billy?

Umm just back to Texas to visit my folks… ya know Holidays and everything… Or recruiting… Shoot I shoulda said recruiting.

Why are you going Billy?  We still love you.  We understand that your underachievement is because of Tubby’s poor recruiting.

Oh really.  Well that’s just swell. Whew.  So what are we gonna do now?

*strains of dueling banjos fill the air*

Oh crap I knew it was the raping movie!  AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!