The basics of Failboat hate January 7, 2008
Posted by Jai Eugene in Big Ten football, Failboats.trackback
“In all likelihood we will be the underdogs,” offensive tackle Kirk Barton said, “because we know that pretty much everyone on Earth hates us. So that’s cool, and we’re going to be playing in Louisiana and against LSU and against the SEC nation. … That’s fine with us; we’ve played in hostile games before. It will be a lot of fun.” [Columbus Daily]
So exactly when did the Buckeyes become the Patriots? Maybe more like the Buffalo Bills or the Atlanta Braves? Hey Cupcake Barton? Glendale was really cool last year. I hope that you guys don’t get Hawaii’d in this game too.
I don’t hate you as a person. I just think your awful little team is vastly overrated. Big difference there, Cupcake. We love how you screw up. I’m kind of excited how you’ll top last year’s trainwreck. Remember the excessive end zone celebration injuring your star player on the 1st play of the game? That’s gonna be tough to beat.
Cupcake, I hate OSU because they benefit from a weak schedule and act shit-hot for beating one “good” team every year.
The hate is not you or your players Cupcake, it’s your idiot fans. There seems to be a higher ratio of bad apples. Read these observations from the Texas - Faiboat game:
….They bring back tales of jort-sporting jackanapes, parking lots full of angry white trash hooping it up like it was Talladega (and Texas is Jeff Gordon), beer and bottles thrown at kids, families, old people. As a friend described it,”Imagine every guy who has ever keyed someone’s car standing around outside of a stadium.” Young guys getting in the faces of women; grandpas getting a face full of beer and an earful of invectives. This clearly violates the Iron Law of Fandom: “Thou shall not antagonize women, children, old people, families.” Other young males are fair game. This is known in every place on the planet but Columbus, Ohio. This has nothing to do with passion or commitment. It has to do with a school culture where it’s a socially accepted norm to be a complete douche. Pointing this out to Ohio State fans engenders only defensiveness, not introspection. [link]
Worse than Florida fans? I say yes. I think we have found something that The Failboats are finally better at than Florida.
Cupcake, I hate your #1 ranking built on the roadkill of :
Youngstown State
Akron
Washington
Northwestern
Minnesota
Purdue
Kent State
The legions of Bucknut fans that hang out here waiting to try to spell the name of their state probably won’t care for for this assessment, but for “pretty much everyone on Earth” who hates O$, “high 5s all around”.
Believe it…
bugeye fans are major assholes…
I’ve seen all of that crap..
They can fuck-off..
-twang
[...] The Basics of Failboat Hate from Losers With Socks [...]
Herbie and Corso are nutting on themselves with the pro-Failboat propaganda.
That is very important, as they both use Valtrex on a regular basis
Tressell is a robot. Like Herban Meyer, cold and lifeless
Anyone down to live-blog this bitch?
Look at all those Tosu highights vs. Kent State and Akron, WTF ESPN?
are you live blogging this??
why not? I want to document the fail
What if they don’t fail?
then I want to document Les Miles’ fucktardness. That will be the only reason why LSU doesn’t win
SOunds like COrso is sucking tOSU cock and Herbie is on the verge of tears…..
Classic. ESPN loads up on Buckeyes
God damn it Todd! How many SEC games did you watch this year? And you still pick OSU?
I totally didn’t see that pick from Herbie coming, did anyone else?
And the perennial wrong-pick man chooses OSU. I’m fucking confident about it now.
The SEC is clearly superior.
Herbie must pick against osu. His earlier manifesto supports his unwavering loyalty to the big 10
nice star spangled banner
LSU is going to make Herbie cry like Tebow after this beatdown.
ditto @16
Herban is on. How fucking sweet. Probably stealing recruits
These two SEC-hating dickbags doing the play by play. That is just going to make this victory so much sweeter.
Charles Davis is a former Vols DB
Why did he join in on the UGA bashing during the Sugar Bowl?
Why wouldn’t he? WHen he played was during the Goff/Donnan era. Stomping on the T
that interlocked arms shit is as geigh as it gets
Les mIles will fuck this up
My bad, slightly before my time
his assistants had a month to prep for this. Miles can’t fuck it up.
oh goodness
Injury on the celebration?
better hope so…..
those are some hideous osu chicks
hell of an offensive series for LSU
Christ! Please tell me that was zone coverage
Pellini was dreaming of Nebraska for the last 4 weeks
Tosu’s band is dressed like Hitler Youth.
Hester is a beast
what the hell is up with all of the stickers on the failboat’ helmets?
Flynn sucks
WTF was that?
I just got home from the office…WTF???
Same thing as last year. no injury during celebration. LSU is forgetting their formations
http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/3426/thumbsphpimg11996659951tt1.jpg
1 good cut back by Beanie Wells + 1 breakdown in zone coverage = 10 pts for the failboats
motherfucking dreadlocks
Chris Leak MVP. LMAO!
double teaming Doucet. I fucking called that shit
Drink 1 every time you hear “Sweater Vest”
Drink one for every shitty Fox reality show commercial
Please tell me that it’s nerves or that Tressel is coaching his ass off…
Hester is a fucking bulldozer
Stupidest pitch I have ever seen.
Drink 1 each time Michigan is mentioned
#33 is a dick
Its the Byrd Man
Tied up bitches!
Skank ass looking LSU band chicks
FAIL
Tressel better pop in that Tosu-bashing DVD again to pump up his troops.
My son will never play for a big 10 team
Chris Wells=Eddie George Lite…
@55 was that them watching the DVD , playing truth and dare in that commericial?
Is Maurice Clarett watching this game from Cell Block B?
Eddie George = part of the 0-8
@58, probably
Hella good call, dude didn’t have it.
Steltz needs to liberally apply some vagisel to that wrist
And the boats are sinking
OSU’s right tackle has been holding all night. They better startt calling it.
im·plode (ĭm-plōd’) pronunciation
v., -plod·ed, -plod·ing, -plodes.
v.intr.
To collapse inward violently.
v.tr.
1. To cause to collapse inward violently.
#33 is lost as an easter egg
Drink 1 for SEC Speed
Laryngitis is over rated.
SEC speed, cheers!
Holliday reminds me of a faster Dave Meggett…
the failboat kicker earned yet another helmet sticker
Why are they running Flynn on that shit?
thats 6
megget is before tbst time
failboat FAIL!!!
the crowd shots of failboat fans will be priceless
The Failboat DB that got beat just received another sticker
helmet stickers are for fails?
I know about Meggett. Like half of Towson’s athletic facilities are named after him.
The Bud Light commercial: The red & black team, is that the Fightin’ Nutria???
are they lil pics of sweater vests?
Not seeing the whole matt damon thing
i am numb to commercials.
dropped pass= buckeye sticker
God damn what a hit! God damn what a pick!
lsu 93 is a nasty dude. he is going to stumpbreak.
tOSU just got a helmet sticker
I think beckwith might be dead
maybe Hester will do a Gator Chomp
INT=5 helmet stickers.
steltz needs monistat
Show those padded Tosu stats vs. Akron, Youngstown St, and Kent State.
This is the fucking SEC
@86
I do not think Hester can spell gator chomp
#1 Defense motherfuckers
It’s amazing that Pedro Serrano is doing Allstate commercials…
24 unanswered.
Suck it Fuckeyes.
I sense that the failboats are broken
Was teh blue team the fighting nutria?
@92,
Pedro was President for a while until the terrorists or Russians or Chinese killed him.
How many OSU messageboards an hour ago had posts saying “SEC speed lolz wtf omg pwnd!!1!1!”? My guess-all of them.
Wells looks very explosive now
pwn indeed
LSU just had to stop drinking their NOLA Hand Grenades.
Speed kills
hartline is the only failboat wr?
i say that lsu 93 is going to stumpbreak the fail #74
completion short of the chains.
failboat pride sticker
“Thus”
those magnificent Failboats
LMAO @ stump break definition on Urban Dictionary
@103
Jai,
Could you please make a failboat pride sticker? My neighbor went to OSU and he is a prick. I would like to give him a belated Christmas present.
Jimmy Carvile says “Cajun style”
These SEC: A Story of Character PSAs are so classy.
what the fuck woulda failboat sticker look like? I realy like the failboat on this post
OK, since I got in at the end of the 1st Quarter, who gets the ball first after halftime???
hope they spell “o shit “w/ the band
Is the Buckeye band goose stepping???
@111
corndogs do.
And its the Hitler Youth Marching Band from Ohio
They were just in an anchor for the Failboat!
geigh ass big 10 ad
@110
Just have a scarlet and gray ship captained by a dork in a sweater vest sinking under the headline “OSU-dotting the “i” in failure”
Who wants to watch a bunch of homos kick field goals? Have some dude throw a football through a hole for a million dollars.
Tressell and the Fails are playing truth and dare
nice spiked hair from the failboat kicker.
I want to start a band called Tressell and the Fails.
tOSU in the SEC = Weedeater Bowl
I think OSU won the halftime show at least.
They could have played UF in the weedeater bowl and beat us.
Jesus. watching this makes me wish every SEC school put a brick shitting Big 10 school on their schedule every year.. It would be like watching UGA/Hawaii in every game.
BTW, the announcers for Fox, suck floppy donkey cock.. They sound like Herbie and his vocal ball tonguing of Big 10, and OSU..
I’d never spell like those cajun queers, but they are my team tonight, SEC baby…
Look at all these fails
If I can’t start a band called Tressel and the Fails, we are going to be known as floppy donkey cock.
See? Herbie was fucking emotionally distraught during his commentary.
He was need of spome super max winged pads
fuck me running, Beauiyckman got laid out on that pick.
I liked how they mentioned a kid on the OSU is in his 4th championship game.. 2 JCs and 2 BCS..
He’s 0-3 they said, hopefully trying to win one..
Makes me wonder what kinda question they ask when recruiting..
“Do you have a winning playoff/championship record?”
“No wins? Well, how about a full ride, you seem like our man. We’ll mold you into something laughable.”
Look, its God
Herban’s mole is mesmerizing
Meyer is holding that mic like he holds Tebows dugan… Only he’s not talking into as close as he does with “The Bow”.
Jamarcus Russell stole that sweater from Heathcliff Huxtable.
Is Jamarcus wearing his Bama bling?
Take a drink SEC Speed
June Jones said, “Fuck it. I want to go to a school where I have no chance of getting my ass beat by an SEC school with a national audience watching ever again!”
Who’s that African with the elephant on his neck?
And whats with these two fags wanting eddie george to smile.
Who gives a fuck.. I want to watch the sweater vest be shredded.
SMU would be the best place for him then..
You know kids… there’s a fine line lesson in life in watching the Failboaters….
You never fucking win in life, when you wear a sweater vest..
i got a picture of Russell wearing bama bling on this fucking blog
This halftime show needs more Shaq.
that kids should wear socks
Russell= Bama Boi
What will be on next year’s DVD?
OSU has towels-look out
@144
It will be a 20 minute DVD next season
They don’t wear socks in LSU..
Kmart feet are fashionable.. Much like that hideous shit Russell was wearing.
They won’t have a DVD next year.. They will save up for the 0-10 against the SEC, since it’s such a milestone.
oh shit, LSU/UT highlights
Close your eyes Jai!
troy smith or whoever the fuck that was, didn’t seem to have a good sense of humor. Give him a helmet sticker
Hester, getst the 1st down
Is it just me or does Miles look perpetually constipated?
Clarett is snuggled up to Big DJ right now. It’s “Light’s Out” in the pen…
Flynn gets a Failboat sticker
Miles is confused again… TO Tigers
LSU needs more penalities. too avoid the “homecooking” rants
What conference are zebras from?
can’t be from the big 10, they are proven cheaters and gamblers
LOLOLOLOLOLOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
roughing the kicker… failboat pride sticker
helmet stickers all around
OSU is both slow and stupid. Sad really.
Very disciplined
personal foul= sticker
The motherfucking pistol!
sinking boat
LMFAO!
I honestly would make the OSU-Vandy line Vandy +5 if the game was @ Vandy. OSU makes UF tackling look competent.
LOL
I don’t even think these slow fucks could win the Egg Bowl
They must of fed the Fuckeyes some greasy crawfish or something, cause they can’t tackle..
Tressel just dropped a brick
fundamentally sound, those Big 10 teams.
31 unanswered.
They just give up too much after the first touch.. Can’t win like that, when they get 3…4… 10.. hell a TD after you try and wrap them up.
and BTW… I fucking LOVED the formation LSU had for the 1st TD.. Fan-fucking-tastic set up.
Sweater Vest: You’re not playing Kent State. This bitch is over.
I want to see Tressel hulk shred off his vest after making it 0-5 against SEC…
You might can rear-end Michigan year in and year out, but you can’t fuck with the South.
0-9 isn’t an accident
How many helmet stickers did those DB’s get for missing tackles???
You know.. OSU using all the steam power on the failboat too early.. Just like last year…
Kinda like a pre-teen, shooting the gold early, and nothing left for the “game”.
That’s Big 10 speed right there
Vagisil boeckman
http://stu.wccnet.org/~alarson/web_images/NEUTRON1107.jpg
Alot of stickers… Look at their helmets..
Another thing.. 2 rushing TD’s allowed this year..
Did they fucking play in the para-football league, and no one able to run or walk?!
Steltz you pussy. The Failboats don’t hit that hard
@182 Fucking classic pic
SweaterTits is looking more and more constipated after every down. At this point when he does take a shit, it’s gonna be petrified. Somebody call the Smithsonian!!
I hope somebody posts that androgenous (sp?) buckeye fan on Youtube.
Where are all those damn buckeyes.. The shit was deep till kick off.
Those crying Buckeyes look like some shit WVA would have rejected.
Will sweatervest have a job tomorrow?
They are on Bourbon St. trying to rent the services of a tranny prostitute.
I swear to God that Failboat band looks like something straight off the history channel about the Nazi SS.
When you look to a punt to energize your team, it is safe to say you’re fucked.
#33 needs more tats
SEC…SEC….SEC
holy fuck
oh shit, Failboats have hope?
Nice throw matty.
How the fuck is that “a great pick”????
It was thrown right to him!!!
Matt Ryan would have never made that throw
favorable fucking spot
If LSU shits the bed I’m gonna puke!!!!!
stoned!
LOL
fucking brick shitters
Who are these announcers? I am pretty sure the color man has some sort of learning disability. I really hope Tressel kicks a field goal so I can laugh for about ten minutes.
Jim, color guy is former Tennessee DB.
That was a nice catch.
Former UT DB
i don’t believe that they fix the sinking ship
@206
That explains everything. As always, the correct answer is always the simple one.
Isn’t the color guy that Canadian Fag Gate Jesse Palmer?
I think I overused always in the previous post.
OSU doesn’t have enough buckets to bail out the water that is storming in the hull.
Salt in the wounds to Ole Miss fans, haha
TBST
The band looks like HS ROTC Drill Team
Coast Guard ROTC
June Jones must think he’s some kinda coaching messiah..
He’s like a rehab team for a struggling program…People said he was stupid for considering the GT job, but SMU?
The way the Failboats are going, June Jones might be rehabbin’ them in a few years.
I think it is time for Herbstreit to strap on a helmet and take the field
I think the OSU band looks like a bunch of extras from the movie “Taps” starring Tom Cruise, Seann Penn and Timothy Hutton.
if my aunt had balls, she could play rof tressel
I would pwn his ass.
fat sweaty horse
Aight, LSU is playing with their heads up their asses. Time to man-up on this shit and 3 and out the failboats.
“I think it is time for Herbstreit to strap on a helmet and take the field”
Didn’t he pretty much suck ass back in the day???
let’s go failboats! i’m bored
They’ll choke on a few, and make it seem mildly exciting..
It’s the UF/OSU blow out, but it’s certainly not… “close”..
Herbstreit has got to be tired of being made an ass of year in and year out.
this is no way near the dp moss/harvey ass-raping of last year…not even close
@227….he’ll get used to it…he has the fucking yoda of it working in the same company (beano cook)
@228
That is what i hate about gator fans. They somehow need to compare this game to last year. Can’t we all just enjoy the failboats sinking?
it was going that way until Matt Damon threw the int
Baeiouyckman killed again.
Peta Activist Ali Highsmith
aw, c’mon jim….you can think of more reasons why you hate gators…..and, yes, i’m enjoying it
#227 Herbie loves the cock!!!
Failing in HD is simply amazing..
I almost saw a tear on the sweater.
look at those titties on that cajun queeen
@234
I graduated from UF in 98. I think I am pro gator. I am just anti-gator fans at times. There is a difference.
i got bounced of the HD
i want steltz to get back in the game….that pussy
Fuck you all. There’s no HD in this piece of shit town.
Jai, that was a dude pounding the wall..
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
STRIP…FAIL….
LSU says “no mas por el failboats”
@238….actually, i agree with you jim….i was just having some fun….i’ve been a gator since the lean years of the early 80s, so i’m not really one to seriously talk shit like the ‘johnny come latelys’….
by the way….that 4th down conversion was very ‘last year-esque’….;-)
I think I just sharted
i gambled…and lost while laughing at that Fail Play
How soon until OSU fans run off Sweater Vest for not winning the “Big One”??? They stole the 2002 title…
Tressel= Fail
Ohio State= Fail
Big 10= Fail
Tosu fans= Fail
My God the “anguish” on the tOSU fans faces is Pan Am Games Gold
deep insight re: the pistol from Charles Davis.
fucking kiss my ass dood
it looks like the hindenberg is in flames everytime i see some pasty idiot with buckeyes around his/her neck
I kinda wanted to see the hat rise tonight…
I can hardly wait for ESPN post game show. Last year, Herbstriet looked like he just found out his wife starred in an all barnyard animal gangbang. I wonder what he will do for an encore.
he is disappointly stupid
jim: he will look like he just starred in an all barnyard animal gangbang.
You know.. amongst it all..
I’m sad about the end of the season. It was fun.
This fucking gaotrade commercial with Peyton gives me fucking chills.
Good call on the ESPN.. That might be better than the game itself.
I wonder what excuse he can make this go around.. After 0-9, or whatever it is.. You’d think he’d run out.
@258 you should be downtown, your dawgs turned back the clock to the early 80s….they’d be doing the same shit to the buckeyes… you sure whipped my gators ass this year. a great year for you all
They should do that Gatorade Commercial with Bonds and Clemens, and have “Steroids: Is it in you?”
NO SIR!
damnit, finish them off
How was that not a hold on the left tackle?