Seeking a way to beat tOSU, Ryan Mallet finally transfers to an SEC school

2008 January 18
by Jai Eugene

Check out the Buffet Buster behind the immobile Mallet!

Mallet probably would not have fit in WVU retread Rich Rodriguez’s spread offense that well anyway. Mallet looks like a bigger, slower, stronger-armed and obviously smarter version of Chris Leak. Mallet will have to sit out a year and by that time Bobby Petrino will have moved on to another team.

Leak? He tried to run the spread option for Human Cyborg down in Gainesville, and he really seemed waifish and contact shy.

Noun – Watch that scared waif run the option. Lets kick him and rub dirt in his waif-face.

Verb – Look Chris Leak. Get on the ground before you get waifed up.

Adjective – Look at that waif QB. How very waif he is.

Adverb – He ran the ball waifly short of the first down marker.

13 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 January 18
    you can't spell oUTback bowl without UT permalink

    Leak = National Champion
    Ainge = oUTback bowl Champion

    Tebow = National Champion, Heisman Trophy Winner
    Manning = Heisman runner-up, Alex Brown’s B!tch

  2. 2008 January 18
    you can't spell oUTback bowl without UT permalink

    *Substiture “Alex Brown’s B!tch” for “All-around good guy”

  3. 2008 January 18
    nica gator permalink

    ‘all-around good guy AND alex brown’s bitch’

  4. 2008 January 18
    artiger permalink

    Mallet seems like a white version of Jamarcus Russell, but probably more articulate (I haven’t heard him speak yet, so I don’t know). For his sake, I hope Petrino remembers to recruit some offensive linemen before he moves on to the next job. Could be worse, Mallet would be spending the next few years handing the ball to a tailback if Nutt hadn’t left. Of course, Mallet probably would be elsewhere in that case.

  5. 2008 January 18

    Waifishly, I got carried away this morning. Did anyone see the Buffet Buster in the background of the pic?

  6. 2008 January 18

    man i dicked up the title of this post…fixed now

  7. 2008 January 18
    artiger permalink

    @5 See him? How can we miss him?

  8. 2008 January 18
    zigzag permalink

    Arkansas got them a pussy who plays like a circumcised warthog in boxing gloves.

  9. 2008 January 18
    artiger permalink

    Zag, could you be a little more graphic?

  10. 2008 January 18

    Zag? are you talking about Petrino?

    “Well, we’re going to throw the ball so much that they’re going to name an airline after us.”

  11. 2008 January 18
    zigzag permalink

    That snot weasel Petrino’s airline by mid-season, if he’s still there, will be as shot full of holes as his Sears catalogue resume’. This prima donna fuck ball has a serious learning curve ahead of him.

  12. 2008 January 18

    i am really surprised that the hogs have not linked to this. They have become as defensive as Bammeroids over Petrino

  13. 2008 January 18
    thebeave permalink

    I’d like to think my fellow fans aren’t as dumb as Bammers.

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