Wanted: Top College Football Players!
Well known University in the South seeking top college football players to join the team. Our university has won 31 National Titles over the past two decades. Come be a part of our winning tradition!
You will play in the shadow of a legend, a coach who made college football what it is today. For the sake of anonymity we will simply call him God.
In addition to receiving a full scholarship to the most prestigious University in the World, you will also receive:
1) Secret cash payments totalling up to 27K annually!
2) 401K – we match your contributions dollar per dollar!
3) Health and Wellness Insurance – Includes Dental and Vision!
4) Crack and Weed a’plenty!
5) Hot Southern Belles to service your every desire…….”Blacks on Blondes” anybody?
To be considered for one of our athletic scholarships please mail your tapes to P.O Box XXXX, Tuscaloosa, AL 35401 Attn: “Rick Faban”
Roll Tide!
Nice post, not too far from the truth. I don’t think we have the 401(k) set up yet.
RTR
You forgot to mention the “affordable” housing, Reggie Bush style living in a scenic atmosphere.
it may not look like it now but coach saban will turn the tide and bama will rule the ncaa gridiron once again. right now, auburn is king. we are the step-child. keep coach saban forever!
we of the true bammer nation love you and your football genius mind/game plan, Coach Saban
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