Battle of the SEC’s Best

2008 February 12
by BigFootFool

SEC pundits have had tomorrow’s date circled on their calendars for months.  Not only is it the day they will finally by something for their wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, live in partners etc, It is also the day where the premiere team in the SEC travels to Knoxville to face the upstart Tennessee Vols who are riding high on a home winning streak that goes all the way back to March 2007. 

Tennesse coach Bruce Pearl is the worst dressed coach in the history of college basketball.  His rugged good looks and manly chest hair have made him the idol of many a Tennessee hillbilly chock full of the mountain love of orange. 

But enough about the Rubenesque women of the Far East and more about the basketball teams hitting the court tomorrow night.

Arkansas is obviously the more talented team, they feature Sonny Weems and Patrick Beverly two players that do more than just score.  They also defend, get rebounds, and make everyone around them play better.  Tennessee has the better record and has a boost to their RPI by playing in the stronger eastern division of the conference.  They also have the star power in Chris Lofton.  A pure scorer, but lack luster defender and team player.  Chris Lofton is a vagabond.  A rogue out only for himself and his stat sheet.  After the horriffic beating of Arkansas-Monticello 101-44 Chris Lofton was found crying in his locker due to his only scoring 5 points during the game(he also played 22 minutes).  The Volunteers also feature two Smiths, but they are just back up players to the shooting star that is Chris Lofton.  They are only there to play when he feels like a breather.

When it comes down to coaches, Bruce Pearl is the more tested and proven coach.  Many people say his new style of play including an up and down style of basketball has galvanized the Tennessee players into playing some team ball and getting after it.  While they Tennessee players have been playing with heart and a wild abandon that would help them win more games, the only excuse for their turn around with winning games has been the bullying style with which Bruce Pearl attacks the refs and forces them into making the calls for the Orange and White.  Many referees have been reduced to tears by the threat of him removing his shirt and revealing the body paint he applies every morning thinly frosted over a greying sheet of fur that he calls chest hair.

But if you talk about the style of play, both teams want to get up and down the floor and the guard play that Tennessee employs so well should help them out.  Will Arkansas need to slow the tempo down to win?  Or will they have to play faster than the vols and expect huge plays from the back-court of Weems, Ervin, Beverly, and Welsh?

The key won’t be on the offensive end for this game.  It’s gonna be on the defensive end.  The hogs have one of the better defenses in the league and it all comes down to how well they defend the perimeter.  For the Vols they will have to find ways to stop the big men for the hogs.  Steven Hill isn’t a huge offensive threat, but on a given night against a small SEC east team he can score 15 points.  The rest of the front-court, Washington, Townes, and Thomas, will score again and again unless Smith, Chism, Crews, and Williams can stop them. 

The Hogs are going to put it inside and the Vols will shoot from outside.  We’ll see what happens, but Rocky Top might be home sweet home, but the hogs come from the Ozark mountains.  With a victory tomorrow night, the razorbacks might be calling the hogs and feeling right at home in Knoxville.

17 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 February 12
    zigzag permalink

    Cut the bullshit. Vols 81 Hogs 68

  2. 2008 February 12

    You wanna call Bruce Pearl the worst dressed coach in the history of college basketball and you had Nolan Richardson back in the 90’s. The same Nolan Richardson who loved gator shoes and ostrich cowboy boots. He dressed like a Pimp Named Slickback…

  3. 2008 February 12

    40 minutes of hell in 35 minutes

  4. 2008 February 13

    I realize this is more of a comedy site, but this article takes the comedy just a little too far, broski.

    You Wal Marters from Arcuntsaw are fixin to be greeted at the door of TBA by a little old lady with a tall glass of Big Orange Shut Up juice.

  5. 2008 February 13
    Hogs are weak permalink

    The winning streak goes back to March 2006. At least get the date right.

  6. 2008 February 13
    BigFootFool permalink

    oh you got me.

    Sorry the LSU loss in the 2nd round of the SEC tourney was in Georgia..

  7. 2008 February 13
    nica gator permalink

    @2 two words….

    wimp sanderson

  8. 2008 February 13

    a regular Nostradamus you are, buddy. Suck it.

  9. 2008 February 13

    This guy can’t write for shit.

  10. 2008 February 13
    artiger permalink

    Nice call, BigFoot. Please try to remember that we’re a football conference.

  11. 2008 February 14
    govols permalink

    uh, 22-point, beatdown, bigfootfool! i guess fool is right on the money! go vols! bring on the dawgs!

  12. 2008 February 14

    a plate full of crow…

  13. 2008 February 14
    I don't even talk I let JaJuan's 30 something points speak permalink

    Owned.

    Go count your dick.

  14. 2008 February 14
    thebeave permalink

    way to show up, arkansas

    you sons of bitches

  15. 2008 February 14
    Big Foot Fool Sucks permalink

    Great call, moron

  16. 2008 February 14
    zerocharisma permalink

    Someone get this guy some “Oops, I Crapped My Pants”.

  17. 2008 February 14
    zigzag permalink

    Don’t be too hard on BFF. He might stop putting his dick on the window sill.

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