This trumps a punter’s DUI

2008 February 19
by Jai Eugene

(thanks Jokers Wild for the SI link)

Did anyone notice Bama’s style this weekend against a hapless robbery victim? Alabama freshman defensive lineman Jeremy Elder has been arrested and charged with two counts of first-degree robbery [SI].

Under Alabama state law, first-degree robbery involves either a “deadly weapon or dangerous instrument” or someone causing “serious physical injury to another.” Both charges are Class A felonies.

That “deadly weapon” or “dangerous instrument” is the conservative yet explosive statement of the off-season. Just like Nick Saban’s coiff, you see the feathered angel wing bangs, and you think, “Man, that is the same old bama.” Then bam! You’re looking at the business end of a gun or a knife that is embossed with a Houndstooth handle and you know that you are commemorating the finest legend of a man one brother of bama can follow! “Give me your money and roll tide roll! “

17 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 February 19

    Bammers have to start early to save up for books next semester.

    Don’t blame Elder, blame the REC for getting the textbook fund abolished.

  2. 2008 February 19

    Bam!!!

  3. 2008 February 19
    Sao permalink

    What does this do to the Fulmer Cup standings?

  4. 2008 February 19
    Jokers Wild permalink

    maybe there was no clause in his scholarship to cover steroid and HGH costs. Give the poor bammer a break. RTR

  5. 2008 February 19

    he was “only” a 2 star

  6. 2008 February 19
    Jokers Wild permalink

    That is why he needed the money for HGH. How else was he going to compete with “THE GREATEST REQRUITING CLASS EVER ASSEMBLED”!!! (at UAT at least).

  7. 2008 February 19

    That’s the most physical contact he’s been engaged in since he joined the football team.

  8. 2008 February 19
    zigzag permalink

    At 6-3 270 why was he strapped up? Why didn’t he just squeeze the cash out rather than show them his Glock? It definitely renews my faith though, that $aban is “making a full investigation.”

  9. 2008 February 19

    A full investigation, like the Eggnog hit and run

  10. 2008 February 19

    Bow down to Houndstooth, motherfucker

  11. 2008 February 20

    Elder was wearing houndstooth during the robbery which took place near, I can’t make this shit up, Bryant Hall

    http://blog.al.com/live/2008/02/documents_tide_lineman_admitte.html

    RTR

  12. 2008 February 20

    For fuck’s sake! You need to quit fixating on Bama, man! You got some kind of S&M type fetish or somethin. Football season is over dude. They say your blog is worth $98,578.23 or some shit, but I’ll give you five dollars if you’ll shut the fuck up.

  13. 2008 February 20

    I’m just kidding. I love this shit man. GO VOLS!!!

  14. 2008 February 20
    zigzag permalink

    @15 I’m glad you cleared that up.

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