Grab your Glock, Lofton…. We’re headed to Memphis
As Saturday nears, I find myself more concerned about the safety of the Tennessee basketball team rather than the outcome of the game. This is Memphis we are talking about. There are no cops. There are no rules. There are no normal people. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Memphis is a shithole. Take out BBQ, St Jude Hospital, and Rudy Gay… What’s left is Elvis and a pile of shit.
Bruce Pearl has been game planning for Memphis this week, as well as mapping out the best route from the bus to the court without getting smoked. Rumors of an underground railroad to ensure the players safety has been suggested.
The good news for the Vols? Once they take the court, they should be safe. If history has any bearing, Memphis players will not assault a male. While Ryan Childress’ fiance may not be safe from a backhand from Niles, Ryan should be fine. God be with the women of Memphis if they should lose Saturday night.
My prediction? I predict Tennessee wins handily. I predict at least 15 people are gunned down in Memphis that night. I predict women are assaulted at the club. I predict 3-6 Mafia will come out with another beat that sounds the same as the last. I predict I will get drunk while watching the game.
And finally, I predict that it will go unnoticed, as it is just another night in Memphis, Tennessee.
Vote here
Who is LWSatan?
15 people would be gunned down regardless if the Vols win or not.
15 may be a low number.
The war zone in Iraq is grade school shit compared to Mempis, but Mempis will take care of the Vols. Why? Tennessee is the SEC, Mempis is the NBA. Plus, do not overlook the home cooking being served at FXF. Final note; Win or lose any Vol fan that shows up at that place in Orange better have a kevlar vest on under that thing.
Exactly. Manning may not even be safe.
Except for a fe buddies, I wish the city of Memphis would somehow disappear.
WHO SHOT ME BUT YOU PUNKS DIDN’T FINISH NOW YOU BOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF A MENACE [choice word] I HIT ‘EM UP
I have no idea why Peyton is going down there. At 6-5 with a large head, he makes the ideal target. Don’t those people realize they will be in the homocide capital of the universe?
Hi, Mr Zig Zag!
I am a representative of the Museum For People With Little Scrotums. We have been trying to contact you regarding an exhibit in your honor! Please give us a call at 917-160 -4931!
Thanks so much!
Esteemed Representative: What an honor by the MFPWLS, particularly coming from the World Renowned Expert on Scrotums. Knowing that your first hand knowledge of scrotums includes sticking your nose up the ass of many guys while developing your expertise, as well as inspecting the scrotum while having your lips wrapped around those guy’s cocks, gives the honor even more meaning. You are the pube eating, asshole sniffing, testicle licking, cock blowing BALL SACK KING! I am honored and impressed!