If You Could Only Eat One Animal The Rest of Your Life……

2008 March 13
by lloydbraun

What would it be?

In my opinion, it is hands down the pig.

Why? Bacon.

Need I say more?

If bacon could give blowjobs, I would marry it.

One of my former-friends just told me “I don’t really like bacon all that much”.

What the hell? I’m really torn. He’s not who I thought he was. What should I do?

27 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 March 13

    Bacon… the pig?

    Apparently, bacon is not good enough for God’s chosen people so it is not good enough for me.

    I would only eat bacon if I didn’t have any steak, sushi, turkey, scallops, pizza, cereal, oatmeal, dirt, or ice cubes.

    Fuck bacon.

  2. 2008 March 13
    BRIAN permalink

    thegrillviper is just pissed because a pig would not fuck him one night at his farm in knoxville.

  3. 2008 March 13

    Goes without saying, pig is the one for real men, all the nancy-boys can whip up their sushi and scallops.

    And God’s chosen people, the Catholics, like their pig with beer.

    Pig, with beer. And cheerleaders. And no sushi.

  4. 2008 March 13

    I laughed at Brian’s comment.

  5. 2008 March 13
    Mike and His Four Noble Truths permalink

    Eva Mendes.

    Oh shit. You meant to consume for nourishment. Well then it has to be the pig.

  6. 2008 March 13

    Mike – You play fretless???

  7. 2008 March 13

    Warwick Corvette 4 string. It’s my baby.

  8. 2008 March 13
    Tom permalink

    Leave that jackass of a “friend.” If he doesn’t like bacon, he’s not really from America; and more importantly, he’s not really from the South. And God’s chosen people, Catholics, do indeed prefer their bacon with beer. And by the way, both bacon and beer are not just great breakfast foods.

  9. 2008 March 13
    Jim Bob Cooter permalink

    Pulled Pork

  10. 2008 March 13

    Anglo Saxon by birth and Boston Butt smoker by the grace of God

  11. 2008 March 13
    gatorhippy permalink

    I’d have to agree with pig, as well…

    It’s just so versatile and more easily cleaned and butchered than beef…

    And…

    Don’t female cheerleaders come with built in sushi?

  12. 2008 March 13

    I used to like people named Brian. I even have a couple of good friends named Brian. You sure went and fucked it up for them, Brian.

  13. 2008 March 13

    I will take this further and say that bacon can blow it out its ass.

    FUCK BACON. FUCK IT.

    I am actually going to refrain from eating bacon from now on, I might never eat a dirty fucking ass pig ever again. I even ate eggs benedict like two days ago, but fuck it, not anymore, motherfuckers.

  14. 2008 March 13

    You’re writing checks your beef-eating ass can’t cash, boy

  15. 2008 March 13

    You know what this means?

    I would never be eating another pork BBQ sandwich at Ridgewood?

    I’ll fucking do it. I will.

  16. 2008 March 13
    Ron Zook's Open Can of Red Bull permalink

    Ya dickstring

  17. 2008 March 13
    gatorhippy permalink

    “I might never eat a dirty fucking ass pig ever again”…

    Jeez, Viper…

    Are emmulating Jules Winnfield again?

  18. 2008 March 13

    I guarantee that GV will be sucking the pig though. All pigs are skeered now.

  19. 2008 March 13
    zigzag permalink

    You bunch of thugs have no regard for the Razorbacks.

  20. 2008 March 13

    Does the Ziggy Piggy count?

  21. 2008 March 13

    BBQ, bacon, and ham…

    The pig wins.

  22. 2008 March 14
    The Winner By Pinfall...THE GRILL VIPER permalink

    I think bacon and pigs are redneck. I picture a 300 lb. motherfucker in a a flannel shirt and sweat pants sitting down to a full plate of bacon. He is dousing it all with salt and he farts every time he moves, but not because of gas… because he is so fat and greasy that his flab is actually creating the “armpit fart” effect. Yes, he is eating his fucking bacon.

    But Viper knows better… he is eating Wagyu beef for the rest of his life… you know? The best meat in the fucking universe?

    THE GRILL VIPER gets to put down W.

    The simpleton pig fans get to put down L.

  23. 2008 March 14
    bwfull permalink

    @2. I know Brian. You are not Brian.

  24. 2008 March 14
    Ron Zook's Open Can of Red Bull permalink

    I picture some fatass redneck, 40-50 years old, pissed off at Phil Fulmer, that posts at outermonvolia, with great big fat jimmy dean sausage links for fingers. HDL off the effing charts…fat country asses

    TP All Star

  25. 2008 March 14
    zigzag permalink

    I am committing suicide by pig, bacon is the slow bullet.

  26. 2008 March 14
    gatorhippy permalink

    I bet Phil has never missed a strip…

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