Jordan Howell: A grateful fanbase salutes you

2008 March 21
by Jai Eugene

Sure Vols hated and still hate Erik Ainge, Ryan Karl, Dane Bradshaw and now they hate Jordan Howell. Well Jordan, we thank you for your service.

Jordan Howell salutes the Tennessee Fan

Sir? Kiss my ass, sir,” Howell shouted, dropping the pants of his two-piece Tennessee jumpsuit and pointing his rear end at the ungrateful fans.
There are some “fans” making comments like this: What does Howell Contribute to this Team??????? Besides bringing the ball up court and good ball handling, he don’t bring much to the table! How many points has he scored the last 5 games anyway, maybe 4?

or

For every slashing basket he makes, he doubles that output with turnovers, missed opportunities at the line, and clearly is no threat outside the paint.

or
He hasn’t hit a shot since January. He’s not a pure shooter–he’s not going to shoot his way out of this. He, in no way, has an effect on how our opponents guard Chris or anyone else.

and my favorite:

All four of his shots were rebounded by Arky, essentially turnovers.


The Tennessee Vol/Trailer Park All Star Fan Mantra:

* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g g
o / \ \ / \ o
a| | \ | | a
t| `. | | : t
s` | | \| | s
e \ | / / \\\ –__ \\ : e
x \ \/ _–~~ ~–__| \ | x
* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
g \_ \ _.——–.______\| | g
o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
* | \ \____) `—- –’ | *
g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
o | / | | \ | o
a | | / \ \ | a
t | / / | | \ |t
s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
e | / / | | | |e
x | | | | | |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *

11 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 March 21
    Ron Zook's Open Can of Red Bull permalink

    Damn.
    White.
    People.
    Are.
    Superficial

  2. 2008 March 21
    Senor Frog permalink

    Watch those apostrophes, son.

  3. 2008 March 21
    Ears Whitworth permalink

    I know some Vols Fans and they’re are EXACTLY like the species described in this blog post RACIST, SCARY & HILARIOUS!

  4. 2008 March 21
    WTF permalink

    I would enjoy this blog more if the author were fully literate. I’m not sure whether it’s the typos, the bizarre punctuation, or the clunky syntax that bothers me the most. Is there a chance that a native English speaker could proof-read the posts before they go up?

  5. 2008 March 21
    vol All Star permalink

    Is that Dane Bradshaw in the background?

  6. 2008 March 21
    Tom permalink

    Why would Tennessee fans hate Dane Bradshaw? I wish Alabama basketball had a Bradshaw, and I would definitely trade about 80% of the current Tide squad for a Jordan Howell. Ryan Karl was a solid linebacker, so why would Tennessee fans not like him? Erik Ainge, however, is another story. He was a MASSIVE douche, both on and off the field. His sweet white high tops, thuggin’ diamond stud earrings, cocked sideways flat-brimmed baseball hat, and kick-ass “ice” necklace were AWESOME! On the field, he was no where near as solid as Tee Martin, and Ainge and Manning should never be used in the same sentence again. Basically, he was Casey Clausen without Clausen’s toughness. Anyone that has actually PLAYED FOOTBALL (as I have) would agree. And why all of these targets white? What in the hell does that mean?

  7. 2008 March 21
    vol All Star permalink

    @ 6 He is white. that is why they hate

  8. 2008 March 21
    Tom permalink

    Is it out of some sense of feeling inadequate to fellow white guys that are good athletes that make such Tennessee fans hate? And if that’s the case, then why is J. Crompton so adored? By the way, I’d be a Cromptonite too, if I were a Volunteer fan.

  9. 2008 March 21
    Momma Crompton permalink

    Hell yes, Tom! You Bammers are going to love my ruff tuff mountain boy when he tosses 6 TDs on that ass.

    And if you want to start the Tuscaloosa chapter of the Cromptonites please send $50 in check, money order, or food stamps, no cash please, to

    Cromptonites LLC.
    1479 Crompton Pass
    Mayberry, NC 28685

  10. 2008 March 21
    zigzag permalink

    @4 Only Sausage Jockeys post such childish nonsense.

  11. 2008 March 21
    zigzag permalink

    Hey Momma, don’t get too excited, your Jon has to learn how to throw a spiral first. The most recent assessment of his passing prowess says he throws like a “circumcised warthog in boxing gloves”. Better tell Fatso to stick to the ground game, the only throwing Jon Boy will excel at, is up.

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