POLL: If the Failboats played in the SEC

2008 April 3
by Jai Eugene

If the tOSU Failboats played in the SEC would they1) Wrest the Weedeater Bowl from the cold dead fingers of Bear Bryant (assuming that he is really dead, but could be with Jesus)2) Wrangle the Weedeater Bowl away from the nervous/anxious “chewed to the quick” fingernails of the Feathered Angel Winged Bangs Sweet Coiff wearing Nick Saban

3) On a good year, sneak into the Music City Bowl (only after beating Kentucky on a last minute hail mary)

4) Make Ole Miss look really good

5) be the piece of wet peculiarly stained single ply toilet paper stuck to the bottom of the Freaky Mark Richt’s shoe who was wide stancing in Americus GA (You have to believe that Richt has some real weird personality issues locked down in his brain)

6) None of the above, cause they are the definition of fail

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from → SEC Football

8 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 April 3
    MoonDog permalink

    4th place in the West behind LSU, Auburn and Mississippi State.

    Under this plan of tOSU playing in the SEC, are we kicking somebody out or expanding to 14 teams?

  2. 2008 April 3
    Jai Eugene permalink

    could be like the Big 10 (+1)

  3. 2008 April 3
    Jai Eugene permalink

    maybe we could consolidate Ole Miss and MSU?

  4. 2008 April 3
    MoonDog permalink

    Perhaps consolidate South Carolina and Alabama. That way we can field an offense and defense full of convicts.

    Nick the Great or Spurrier as the coach?

  5. 2008 April 3
    thebeave permalink

    spurrier as oc. saban as dc. no need for a head coach

  6. 2008 April 4
    zigzag permalink

    To level the playing field, the schedule would include the Real Bulldogs, Vols and Tigers, the Rebels three times and the Ms State Bulldogs twice for an eight game season. The Fails would have a chance of finishing 3-5, losing to the first three, and once each to the Rebels and Bulldogs. Their non-conference games against, Kent State, Youngstown State, Cleveland Prep and Shitbird State would remain the same thereby giving them a 7-5 season and a trip to $hreveport to play the Tide Rollers who will win Conference USA after being tossed from the SEC for money laundering and other assorted felonies.

  7. 2008 April 4
    Manfranchenson United permalink

    Damn you. As a Buckeye fan I was going to cuss ya’. Then I scrolled down to the photo headlining the F.C. King Links for April 3rd and I couldn’t do it.

    The poon shot(s) sunk my failboat.

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