Cromptonmania: It’s all I have left

2008 April 8
by Jai Eugene

I know that I am holding on too tight. For the last week, I have awoke throughout the night with fear that I was being sacked repeatedly, with a death grip on the football or throw 3 interceptions. At first, i thought it was the brownies that Lloyd Braun gave me, but i later learned that this was an fear indicator of Cromptonmania.

For some reason, the fear has grown over the past few weeks. I didn’t get the job at the trailer plant and have begun to wither away to a sickly 350 lbs. i could barely finish my jalapeno chili burger and twinkies last night because of the overwhelming fear of throwing the ball to a receiver on my team. lease help me Coach Fulmer, i am afraid that i will next lose my newly acquired taste for Schlitz Beer (rejoice, they are bottling it again link] and there will be nothing left to live for. Like Crompton recently told a fellow QB: “You better back off [TP AllStars].” The spirit of the Cromptonites is buring like hot buttermilk on the thighs of the Warrior Prince!!

6 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 April 8
    Clive permalink

    Nice work. I hear JC is sporting a new stache…ala high school level.

  2. 2008 April 8
    zigzag permalink

    If the “asshole with dentures” look qualifies him as high school, the Manning Passing Academy has a spot for him where Peyton and Eli can try to teach Jon how to throw a spiral.

  3. 2008 April 8
    Knob Screwis permalink

    Texas Gunslinger, Ahmad On the Same Paige

  4. 2008 April 9

    Relax. New offense. He’ll be OK.

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