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Florida’s new football facility May 28, 2008

Posted by Jai Eugene in SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Urban Meyer, college football, florida gators.
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(HT ATOnole)

Florida’s new facility [TBO]. Proving that money is no guarantee of escaping the specter of trailer park living. Gates love gaudy, loud excessively ornamented, bright shiny shit. Gaudy clothes, gaudy lights, crank it up. This should get that “Wow” factor cranked up. More of a daunting pucker around the old balloon knot.

When asked What was the No. 1 reason for building UF’s new Football Complex Urban Meyer said “it was enticing certain top players to Florida, it’s a tool.” Picture Meyer making air quotes as he says the word “tool”. Penis references are synonymous with today’s version of Florida Football.

As always with all UF facilities and Football Players: “it was built with no state funds. The $28-million James W. “Bill” Heavener Football Complex has been completely funded by private donors.”

‘UC’ UF Gator fans line up in front of Ben Hill Griffin for the “finishing touch” from the chosen one.

“This is My covenant that you shall observe between Me and you and your Gators after you, to circumcise your every Orange and Blue clad Trailer Park All Star. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall become the sign of a covenant between Me and you” (Genesis 17:10-11)

For scaly skin

The Joiner and Tebow kiss is on continuous loop in all bathroom televisions.

Aesthetically and Ergonomically pleasing “Soap” dispensers for the discriminating Gator Fan

Urban legend says that this was designed to keep a a star player happy. Coach Meyer’s hope is that it serves two purposes: honoring the past and “pulling” in the best for the future.

Comments»

1. BWFull - May 28, 2008

Gaudy? Is this coming from the folks with the orange checkerboard end zone?

2. Jai Eugene - May 28, 2008

that is all you can bitch about? You must like the soap dispenser

3. nica gator - May 28, 2008

can’t wait to see the chosen one prancing around in that checkerboard this fall, flailing his arms around for the umpteenth time…

4. Haters Suck - May 28, 2008

If you’re so darn jealous of UF and what it has, why don’t you just stop hating and go ahead and root for them instead?

5. DowntownDawg - May 28, 2008

I bet most the building material was stolen by the players to build everything there.

6. Afternoon Links - May 28, 2008

[...] Florida’s new football facility (Sports) [...]

7. LL - May 28, 2008

@1 - Good point.

Jai, I honestly don’t think that you’ve ever been to the state of Florida. The “gaudy” bunch are the Miami fans (all 6 of them). They’re the ones wearing the jerseys, jewwery, gold, hair all greased up, loud annoying music, etc.

Also, I’ve never understood why people from the state of Tennessee make fun of people who live in Florida for trailer park living when that is the primary means of housing in Tennessee. Go figure.

8. Jai Eugene - May 28, 2008

LL

I lived in Orlando in from 93-93, stationed at the NTC flying out of International Airport. I am fully engaged on Gator histrionics.

TP living is King in SCAR

9. BWFull - May 28, 2008

@2

Is that the best you can do? I wasn’t the one who found and posted the soap dispenser.

10. Jai Eugene - May 28, 2008

BW, I am such a child. I laughed the entire time I made this post. Giggled like a uncircumcised Filipino boy.

11. jack crevizzle. - May 28, 2008

we have had a home in florida for 6 years now.

having been to a game in gay-esville and having visited my friends south of urrrlanduh, a town called eustissssss?

we ate at a place called the kickin’ chickin. the dude sitting next to me was from there and had three teeth.

I’ve lived in a small town in TN for a long time. I can attest to the mean level of education not being high here, but, this guy as a representative of the flora did not bode well.

Florida is as full of white trash (aka trailer park all stars) that engage in perennial dick dancing as west virginia.

jorts and sharting are taught at an early age. as is man crying and circumcision.

f teabag and his scum of a cryer coach who can no longer cheat.

spot on jai as usual.

it wouldn’t surprise me if that shrine to jean shorts of a building was made out of bricks from the Holocaust.

12. zigzag - May 28, 2008

Gaudy? Nouveau riche is more like it.

13. gatorhippy - May 28, 2008

Glad to see you back in form, Jai…

However, it seems you may be running with a bad crowd lately…

I mean, hat tipping a Nole is bad enough…

But some suck ass frat Nole?!!?!?!

You have sunk to a new low, sir…

14. LL - May 28, 2008

Jai-
Orlando isn’t a good representative of the state of Florida. Too transient and not as many trailers as other parts of the state.

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17. MAGNUM - May 28, 2008

I hope one of their recruits doesn’t drop it and break it like the crystal national title trophy.

18. Busted Coverage: Booze, Ladies And Football » Daily Dump: Student Falls 7 Stories & Lives, ASU Cheerleaders Looking Good, Fernando Tatis Is Back And Ronaldo’s Chick Naked - May 29, 2008

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19. Pillow Pants - May 29, 2008

I believe the architecture was inspired by the Alachua County Courthouse so the players would feel more relaxed and in their element. I certainly do hope they paint the inside of it up like a daycare for the developmentally disabled like the current stadium is.

BTW, for any given place in Florida to be truly white trash a Stuckey’s, a broiled “P-Nut” stand, and a Cafe Risque are all required. All of these are, coincidentally, within easy reach of and in great abundance in the Hogtown/Ocala/Lake City “metropolitan” area. It’s like the holy trinity for NASCAR fans and Gates.

20. jack crevol - May 29, 2008

During peak or ‘high’ times, gaytur players can enjoy maxing and relaxing with Joekim in the gaytur ‘plant’ room….

while on sojourn or ‘down’ time on the weekends they do their mandatory co op in volusia county working part time at the hydroponic plant there…

some players even take an active role in selling oranges at various stands, it’s known as indian river gold, ;-)

21. LL - May 29, 2008

Places like Stuckey’s and Indian River are tourist shops, not places where Florida residents shop. They are setup with bargains for the tourists (i.e. 3 Florida beach scene t-shirts for $10, pecan logs for $1.99) so that the tourists visiting from Georgia, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama, etc., can feel like they are shopping at their town po-dunk store and stay on their budget at the same time.

22. I love to fish - May 29, 2008

people shop at the indian river stores to obtain their gainesville gold, a juicy sweet nugget chock full o thc.

….and urban wept.

23. Don Chavez » Go Ahead, Bounce A Quarter Off My Dumper - May 30, 2008

[...] Florida’s new football facility - Losers with Socks [...]

24. Rob - July 21, 2008

Jack you’re an idiot Eustis is north of Orlando so dont act like you know what you’re talking about

25. garth - August 31, 2008

vols suck cock

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