Tommy Tuberville: Master of the Obvious

2008 June 2
by Jai Eugene

“Ohio State would have finished fifth in our league and they’re ranked No. 1 in the preseason poll”- Wing Nut [Blutarsky].

If tOSU played in the SEC, does anyone (outside of Ohio and ESPN) really think that the Failboats would be ‘good enough’ to make it to the SEC-CG game?

I know the answer, and deep down inside, I think you know, too… deep down in places you don’t talk about, Big 10 homers know that the SEC is their daddy. It doesn’t really matter, its not as if the average Big 10 fan has any conference loyalty anyway. As an SEC Fan, By the Grace of God, it is great to see the tOSU Failboats step up to the plate for their traditional ass-plowing by an SEC Team. There are some SEC Fans, By the Grace of God, that believe the SEC can keep rolling up national championships if Ohio State keeps showing up in that game….

I ask those SEC Fans, By the Grace of God, where is the challenge of playing Ohio State? Playing tOSU presents as much of a challenge to an SEC Team as hunting a grazing dairy cow. Frankly I think that beating them dilutes the importance of the National Championship win. Hence why a SEC Championship game is so much more important than a BCS NC Game.

Here is a scientific circle-jerk chart that depicts the close symbiotic relationship between the tOSU and the SEC. This symbiotic relationship benefits both, but almost always benefits the SEC at the OSU’s expense. tOSU sells merchandise and the SEC whips their ass.



It makes me weepy that the cupcake know as tOSU gets a free pass with a poon-tangy schedule every year. They play Southern Cal the second game of the year, after they lose, they have an excellent chance to run the table and back their way into the MNC again.

Thank you ESPN with your BCS B-List Bias for the Big 10.

4 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 June 2
    DOug Supernaugh permalink

    the circle jerk chart says it all. great post jai.

  2. 2008 June 5
    Anonymous permalink

    Wow. So angry and bitter and TACKY when clearly so superior.

  3. 2008 June 17
    Josh permalink

    Wow that was intelligent and very thought of. You must really know your football, because OSU continues to produce NFL 1st round talent. Sorry if two games diminish what a Program has done in the last 100 years. Welcome to the spotlight SEC, for being soooo powerful there are a lot of people who beat thier chest trying to prove thier supierority. Oh by the way I am from Florida and am a Florida State fan.

  4. 2008 June 17

    Suck it Forward Josh

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