In keeping with the time honored Bammeroid Tradition, there will be a pass a slush fund bag “one more time” mandatory collection. Cash, credit cards, unfiltered cigarettes, prostitutes, whiskey and checks (with picture id) are always accepted. This collection will help defray the costs of paying for the next National Championship.

Remember people: It is Saban’s responsibility to recruit players, but it is Mal Moore’s responsibility to recruit boosters and generate income for the football team, preferably in small non-sequential bills in a brown paper bag.

(Sports Illustrated) (HT YMSWWC)

(The paragraph below is via email by AUTIger1993)

Sabens pledge $1M for scholarships

TUSCALOSER, AK (PU) — Football coach Neck Saben and his wife Torrie have pledged $1 million to the university for scholarships.

Saben advised that the scholarships announced Saturday are designed specifically for first-generation college students, “who have some relationship relative to “5 star” potential football recruits. Best friends of potential recruits, especially girl friends will also be considered for the scholarships, aight” said Saben. The Sabens have already funded scholarships for six such students from Mobile and Baldwin Counties in Alabama through the $100,000 gift they made last January.

Saben says he and his wife feel “edjamacating” youth is key.

He says both of them are first-generation college graduates and the one thing they like the most about the scholarships is, “the scholarships have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with academics.”

University President Robard Whit says he is so pleased that the Sabens are encouraging others to help fund scholarships for first-generation college students that he immediately authorized a $1 million raise for Saben .