No preamble, let’s get down to business of answering the questions:

1. How good/bad do you think Jonathan Crompton will be in his first year as a Tennessee starting quarterback and what makes you think that?

I don’t know if the Mountain Warrior-Prince will be good or bad. I believe that Crompton is best described as a walking oxymoron. He has really beefed up for his role as the starting quarterback. When we last saw him as Erik Ainge’s bitch, he could barely fill out a pair of half-britches and a wool vest. Now it seems his rifle arm is being shown everywhere and his face has graced the cover of magazines ranging from Athlon to National Geographic. You have to wonder what it would be like to touch that Joe-Willie like arm?

Here is what I do know: If expectations of his projected performance plummet and Tennessee fans go wild, I will lead the Big Orange Nation meltdown and call for new offensive coordinator Dave Clawson’s head on a pike. If it can happen in the Bible it can happen on the playing field.

2. This question was posed on our site a few weeks ago by the Bama boys, and it brought some good discussion, so given UT’s rich history of scheduling home-and-homes with top-shelf BCS programs, what school would you most like for the Vols to play in the future and why?

Alabama. I know we play them once a year, but once ain’t enough. Sure this hapless criminal gang of thugs upset my beloved Vols ( I equate it to Appy State beating Michigan) last year, but we all know its near impossible to beat the Refs too. Let me tell you something, the local high-school football team down here is called the Wolverines. Just like the guerilla patriot squad from Red Dawn is also called the Wolverines. So whenever I see someone in a letter jacket and hear them scream, “Wolverines!” with a rifle in their hand, it seems to me that people just don’t seem to get it.

Why? Because Red Dawn is one of the great classics of Reagan-era American cinema that languishes in near-obscurity. This is truly unfortunate, especially since we just haven’t had enough flag-waving, anti-Bama, jingoistic fervor in this country lately. Every College Football Fan should go out and watch this movie immediately.

If you don’t watch this movie, then the Bammeroids have already won. I have said this once and I will say it again,  Bama is a overloaded warp core that must be ejected into the void of independent status where they can do less harm (or at least the Mountain West Conference, where no one really cares what harm they do). I propose that we start a writing campaign to eject this infected program from our conference before it is too late. It all depends on you good people … I know you will do the right thing.

3. A lot has been made of our lack of depth at defensive tackle. With Demonte Bolden, Dan Williams and Walter Fisher pretty solid, what other player do you think makes a big move toward becoming dependable?

I think Ben Martin does good. The rest of this group of 4 and 5 star underachievers strike me as the kind of players who would consistently fuck up a Chinese Fire Drill. You send them out to pick up Taco Bell, and they come back with a caulk gun. Literally. If these lard-asses can’t get off their can for five minutes and plug the B-Gap during the game, then I have no time for them.  I guess all I’m saying is these dudes need to put the DoubleStuff Oreos down and try some Slim Fast instead.

4. Neyland Stadium has undergone some wholesale external and internal renovations during the offseason, updating and improving the overall appearance. If you could change one thing about Neyland, what would it be?

I want separate pissers for visiting Bammeroids. Last time that I was in Neyland there were 3 pregnant Bammeroid women standing in line to use the restroom. All were wearing “we got 12″ t-shirts and jean skirts to their ankles. There t-shirts were covered in mud and looked like they had just crawled from under their trailer. Hell, I bet one was your sister. Anyway the point is that I dont care if we are playing Alabama in a game of country jake….I want to beat them. No matter what sport or the game. I want to steal their women, drink their whiskey and kill bigger deer than them.

5. Different UT fans have different opinions on last season. Was it a success? Was it a failure? Why do you think so.

This is a  question that has a plainly obvious answer to fans of the SEC, the best College Football Conference. Last season was clearly a success. Anytime UGA and Florida sit at home and must watch us play for the SEC Championship, that is a success. The SEC Title is what it is all about, cause beating Ohio State’s ass for the BCS is like watching a porno movie, time that is lost and that can never be recovered.

As for our “fans”? We definitely have some wolves wearing sheep clothing . To those Bammer loving intellectual douchebags from the site known as [redacted.com], just stick your little pink preppy noses high in the air and declare “LET’S PRAY FOR 0-12!? WELL, IT IS GOOD FOR THE PROGRAM”….as you gulp down your 8th consecutive Bourbon-and-whatever to drown your own self-hatred and impotence and bitterness as you cuddle with the “classless” bumpkins from Alabama that look upon you in contempt for your pathetic inability to assert control over your own school and make it respectable in the world………

here are what the other Vol blogs are saying:

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• Moondog’s answers
• UT Vols Football
• Fulmer’s Belly