The menace of Cromptonology

2008 August 11
by Jai Eugene

Cromptonology: A crazy bunch of  severely gullible pencil-necked mountain psycho “fishies that took the bait but have felt the hook” freaks who’s Golden Calf of Baal is a smoky mountain ruff n’ tuff  myoplex protein shake drinking Tennessee QB.   These Jock Sniffer-Sniffers are drunk off of Heath Shuler’s ridge-running  “super doctrines”. They believe in 4.8  40 ‘wheels’, cannon-arms, running over linebackers and spank-tankingto the heroic 2006 LSU game, or something like that.  Their biggest goal is to recruit more members and spread the tater-salad gospel.   GBO


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Vols fans, I know it’s probably difficult for you to encounter negative information about our QB Jon Crompton, and I thank you and commend you for your willingness to confront unpleasant truths of a ruthless group of cyber-thugs known as the Cromptonites.

Here are some things I’d like you to know:

I don’t hate Cromptonites.

I’m genuinely fond of most of the Cromptonites I’ve met, and – believe it or not – one of my biggest motivations for speaking out is because I don’t want to see anyone else get hurt;   I want to make sure no one else suffers what Erik Ainge and Peyton Manning have suffered. Remember Ainge’s knee, pinky and shoulder or Peyton’s knee surgery this year?  Not accidents, all sophisticated efforts to make #8 the #1 (You may believe you are in no danger from Cromptonology, and I sincerely hope that’s true).

I don’t hate Cromptonology, and I just to want to destroy it.

There are people practicing Cromptonology outside the official Mountain Damn Values Farm structure (Cromptonology probably refers to them as “placentas,” even if they aren’t deviating from the teaching in any way). These followers are often called Rowdy-Dealing Cromptonites. As far as I can tell, they are practicing Cromptonology without any of its illegal or clearly harmful elements. I have no quarrel with them. I don’t want to stop Cromptonology – I only want to stop its illegal and harmful actions.  I believe most Cromptonites would want that, too, if they could confront the evidence of Cromptonology’s unnatural acts.

I hope you will take a moment to read any of the essays I wrote  on the Cromptonites.  I would be delighted to read your comments.
Although I don’t like to generalize about any group of people, I do believe that most Cromptonites are drawn to Cromptonology because they have good hearts and good intentions, and they want to make Tennessee a better football team while making themselves better people. I admire and respect those intentions, and if you are trying to make the Tennessee a better football team, I *golf clap* your efforts.The best religions from a Darwinian POV are the ones that believe in offing themselves. (Heavens Gate, etc).
Sometimes, I wish the fucktards would hurry up and get it over with.
The rest of us Vols fans would like to evolve.

from → SEC Football

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