Big Orange Round Mesa el numero seis

2008 August 14
by Jai Eugene

1. Let’s assume the worst for a moment and say the Vols finish the season 6-6. Does Fulmer survive? If not, whom do you believe would be the best person to fill the head coaching vacancy?Even if you believe Fulmer survives, feel free to offer your thoughts on the Vols next coach.

I suppose that the Dean of SEC Coaches has set the bar so high in this league, it seems everyone (even our own traitorous fanbase)  has turned against us. It seems like no one remembers our victories and only point out the losses and lack of championships over the last 10 years.

I think that my leader leaves only if he loses to UF , UGA , Bama , UCLA , & SCAR. Regardless, if Fulmer departs, prepare for the *end of days* for a spoiled menopausal fanbase. To mitigate the rise of the beast, I plan on smearing lamb’s blood over my door to ward off the bad angels (Saban/Meyer/Petrino).

Bottom line up front,  I don’t know who will replace him but I am sure that whoever it is, he will make Vols fans appreciate the Battle Captain more.

2. With the off-field troubles many college football programs have encountered over the past five years, including Tennessee, what actions would you take to prevent players from getting into undesirable situations?

I don’t have a solution. Nosireee. Has anyone ever considered the importance of athletics in a football player’s life? I believe that for 90% of these boys education has never done nothing for any of them. They play football really good and that is what is going to make them a star. Essentially, keeping these kids off the field is like taking the food out of their babies’ mouths. And it only hurts their family. What we are facing is a discipline-happy epidemic of selfish coaches who put their reputations ( with the exception of Herban Meyer) before the players jobs and kids.

One possible course of action is to show those miscreant players just how pissed off their baby-mama would be if she had to use food stamps or WIC to feed them kids. Them boys would toe the line for sure. Or get a hymnal upside of their heads…

3. The Vols have rolled through UCLA, UAB, Florida, Auburn, Northern Illinois and Georgia. We’re No. 3 in the polls and up next is Alabama. With 3:16 left in the 4th quarter the Vols are down 20-17 and it’s 4th and one from our own 29-yard line. Do you kick the field goal or go for it?

On that third Saturday in October, a victory will be forever woven into the fantastic tapestry of Tennessee football. Here is what I would do if I was the Battle Captain. I would lean (he ain’t heavy) on the Ghosts of Tennessee Football past, bank on glory and go for the first down. Second, I know that Arian Foster’s fumbling ass would be standing next to me on the sideline, not carrying the ball. Lets face some facts, sometimes a person just has a lot of trouble either catching, or maintaining possession of an item. I think it it would be a temporary paralysis, like getting bit by tarantula.  Dropping things like a pigskin, football, dinner plates, drinks or the “rock”. When my beloved vols are driving or need that tough yard, putting the ball on the ground or shotputting the ball into the stands just won’t work.  Hence why Foster should not carry the ball when the game is on the line.

4. What impact, if any, do you believe Stan Drayton will have as the Vols prepare to play Florida?

Drayton’s finally gets to showcase real running backs who really get to “pound the rock”.   At Florida, his running backs were required to block for Tebow of Nazareth and not worry about running the ball. Look for my beloved Vols to take a novel approach in this game- To be successful, don’t score quickly, that way you can run more plays, have more time of possession, and rest your defense. Better to hold the ball 35+ minutes, than score 2 touchdowns and field goal. And for God sakes, lets not put our special teams on the field. They suck.

 

5. We’ve discussed the Vols offense and defense, but what about special teams? Give us your thoughts on Tennessee’s kicking game and special teams in general.

As General Neyland and George Cafego  turns in their graves while the Vols dick up this Maxim:

 

Press the kicking game. Here is where the breaks are made.

 

I just want to watch a special teams play without thinking my beloved Vols are making a break for the other team.  “Sobering”, get it?  Sobering….

This play made a hero out of a 170 pound PAC-10 douchebag

 


 

or this dandy by the Gate that bought weed (wearing his Game Jersey) from the undercover narc

Here are the rest of the Roundtable

 

 

 


 

 

from → SEC Football

6 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 August 14
    LL permalink

    That Brandon James TD is awesome!

    Pretty hard for Colquitt to “tackle” him when he can’t “trip” him.

  2. 2008 August 14
    FEAR THE HAT, BITCH permalink

    yeah okay, Jai. But is your battle captain on the cover of Forbes Magazine?

    http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2008/0901/092.html

    They were going to do a feature on Les Miles, but he keeps a low profile, rather than brag on himeslf.

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