Damnit Chavis. Are you high?

2008 September 17
by Jai Eugene

Timmy makes it hurt

Timmy makes "it" hurt

I hate to say it, but I suspect that it is going to be business as usual on Saturday:  Herban, perfector of the “deer in the headlights look” outcoaches the Battle Captain, again.

“Last year was not very good. Certainly some things we could’ve done better. Lot of youth, but I’m not making excuses. What you see on the field is my responsibility and I accept that. I like the maturity of this defense. For us to say we guarantee it’s not going to happen again, if you’re in this business long enough, you know it’s going to happen again.” John Chavis “Defensive” Coordinator

Hell  I don’t even know what to say.  Unless this is some complicated psychological warfare to get in Dan Mullen and Tebow’s head.  Or is he making excuses already?  Now I see why our 3rd and long/end-of-game meltdowns suddenly make sense. It’s called killer instinct or lack thereof. 4-9 versus the Gates doesn’t give me hope.

The Florida Gator thugs are going to  walk into our house,  put a cigarette out on our couch, spit on the floor, blow their nose on the kitchen counter using the Tennessee Hankerchief, make a sandwich from our fridge, leave the fridge door open, bitch about the bread, chew and talk with their mouths open, leave their dirty dishes on the floor, borrow our car without asking, buy their gas with our Chevron Gas Card,park it in a handicap parking spot, leave the car lights on and run down the battery,  wipe our windsock/vagina from back to front, they will shit and not flush, piss on the seat and not wipe it up, all while making out with our women then they are going to  mop up  the field with my beloved Vols…

Maybe we should come out in Crompton’s green jerseys so they won’t hit us so hard. I can’t believe that Tennessee  football has gotten to the point where I don’t’ even give us a chance to win at home.

28 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 September 17
    ears whitworth permalink

    Nice work. Check this whack a Gate
    http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=SPECIAL0425

  2. 2008 September 17
    a gonzo permalink

    This pretty much sums it up. I know I’ll be screaming and shitfaced by halftime and then turn off the ugliness in the third quarter. I’ll then refuse to read the Sunday sports section and won’t turn on ESPN until they have moved on from college to the pros. Yes, the pain is too intense, bleed it bitches.

  3. 2008 September 17
    zigzag permalink

    It’s just Wednesday and you are giving up already? Just thank God the Vols don’t have to play the Mormons.

  4. 2008 September 17

    Dammit, Vols. It’s only Wednesday. What the hell?

    You all are playing at home and have a damn good running game. History has proven that the team that runs the ball the best in this game usually wins.

    To give up before the game even starts? Ridiculous. I really hope y’all are just playing the reverse psychology card.

  5. 2008 September 17
    IBleedOrange444 permalink

    Damn it Jai you fucking crybaby pussy! Do you need a tissue? A hug? Some Monistat 7? Have a little fucking faith. The Gayters are going to lay an egg and Fulmer is going to save his job. Mark it down bitches!

  6. 2008 September 17

    I personally love the shirtless Tebow, tattered windsock

  7. 2008 September 17
    zigzag permalink

    5-The gayters don’t have to lay an egg for Fulmer to save his job. The Bear (Organ crescendo) has ordained that Fulmer will be there until death for $aban’s sake.

  8. 2008 September 17
    Jim Bob Cooter permalink

    Get your shots in while you can, Vols… the Brit Milah awaits…

  9. 2008 September 18
    Jim permalink

    I think Jai’s decision here is wise. Expect the worst and you will never be too disappointed. If you feel you have no chance and then win, it is the best. See UF v. FSU 1997.

  10. 2008 September 18
    Your daddy, Alabama permalink

    Damn right….play it down, use the i’m going to get killed mentality and hope for the big upset.
    The reality is you really are horrible and you’re going to get slaughtered!

  11. 2008 September 18

    Very true, Jim. If you are a pessimist you can never be disappointed.

  12. 2008 September 18

    Hey Roid, Have you not watched Crompton play???

  13. 2008 September 18
    Your daddy, Alabama permalink

    @12
    yeah and he sucked bad enough to put in the backup against UAB, your point?

  14. 2008 September 18
    Jim permalink

    @11
    I think if UF plays UT ten times, UF wins eight out of ten. For a UT fan to believe that is not pessimistic but realistic. If Jai were to go all fan boy and say “Rocky Top Bitches, UT pwnz UF! LoLZ!!1!!111!” the fall come roughly 6:30 p.m Saturday is gonna be awfully hard.

  15. 2008 September 18
    ears whitworth permalink

    Bama cheated, is cheating and will always cheat.

    That is all

  16. 2008 September 18

    Haha! Good point, Jim. I agree.

  17. 2008 September 18
    IBleedOrange444 permalink

    We’ve got a little something cookin for your bitch ass too Bammer. We’ll see what y’all cheatin punks got left in the tank come the 3rd Saturday in October.

  18. 2008 September 18
    Zook permalink

    When Florida rolls in Knoxville, there will be more dreds than on a sunny day in Jamaica

  19. 2008 September 18

    @17:

    Actually, it falls on the 4th Saturday in October this year.

    That’s going to confuse the hell out of all you rednecks.

  20. 2008 September 18
    Your daddy, Alabama permalink

    What do you hicks have cookin’, a dead possum for the possum stew? sounds real scary!

  21. 2008 September 18
    zigzag permalink

    The best thing that can be said about Saturday is that the Vols are not playing the Mormons.

  22. 2008 September 18
    IBleedOrange444 permalink

    A Bammer calling a Vol a hick… talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Y’all Bammers win a few games and you think your program is back. It’s going to be real painful for y’all when you lose to lowly UT. I can’t wait to hear all the dejected Bammers bitch and moan! Good luck this weekend. Better hope y’all show up against Arkansas. You and I both know that Bama has a bit of a problem making sure they show up to every game.

  23. 2008 September 18
    Your daddy, Alabama permalink

    Ok free bleeder….i’ll make a bet with you…..i wont bitch or moan if we loose this weekend if you will admit that :

    1.Phatipus is the most devious SOB in the coaching ranks and is headed for the tank to suffer for all his mischevious
    2. Tee Tee Martin was paid $5000 by Linda Bensol-Myers and the ‘98 NC should be nullified for players being bought….its only fair
    3.Philly and Roy were butt packing each other until Roy went bye-bye
    4. Phat stabbed Johnny in the back to get the job.
    5. You’ll never sing Rocky Flop ever again at B-D stadium

    DEAL???

  24. 2008 September 18
    Ears Whitworth permalink

    I really thought at first that Josh Howard was a product of the Capstone. But I think that he knows how read, so he can’t be a Roid

  25. 2008 September 18
    IBleedOrange444 permalink

    Not a chance Bammer.

    ROCKY TOP YOU’LL ALWAYS BE…
    HOME SWEET HOME TO ME.
    GOOD OL’ ROCKY TOP…
    ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!!!

    ROCKY TOP YOU’LL ALWAYS BE…
    HOME SWEET HOME TO ME.
    GOOD OL’ ROCKY TOP…
    ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!!!

    ROCKY TOP YOU’LL ALWAYS BE…
    HOME SWEET HOME TO ME.
    GOOD OL’ ROCKY TOP…
    ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!!!

    ROCKY TOP YOU’LL ALWAYS BE…
    HOME SWEET HOME TO ME.
    GOOD OL’ ROCKY TOP…
    ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!!!

    F U Bama and your overpaid scumbag coach.

  26. 2008 September 18
    Jack J permalink

    fellows we (UT ites) have 3 chances to win, despite our inferior players and coaches. 1. Tebow is knocked out of the game early( i give this a 2-3% chance 2. We are plus 3 or more in turnovers (3%) 3. Direct intervention by GOD ( this is our best chance.) We are outclassed by the Gators and we will be fortunate to win 1 ot these 4 games :Fla, Aub,Bama and GA. It is time to start over at the hill.

  27. 2008 September 18
    Jim permalink

    @25
    Sir, I must commend you. Your rhetorical skills are unmatched.

  28. 2008 September 18
    IBleedOrange444 permalink

    Thanks Jim. I work pretty hard at it.

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