Crimson and White and Orange Roundtable

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It’s time for the Third Saturday in October no matter what your calendar tells you. In honor of the rivalry, the Crimson and White Roundtable will face the Big Orange Roundtable this week, hosted appropriately enough at Third Saturday in Blogtober.
http://3rdsaturdayinblogtober.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/crimson-and-white-and-orange-roundtable/

Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire. If your team is the Death Star, what is it’s planet-destroying weapon?

Most fully mature Bammeroids are suckers for the seedier side of of life,  entertainment from the other side of the tracks.  If I was going to destroy Alabama, I would not stray away from the proven bait: any over-the-hill bleach blond stripper from a seedy Pensacola Titty Bar, with a University credit card and penchant for room service. Meth ravaged teeth, biker tats and saggy tits are optional.

What is it’s two meter wide exhaust port?

Pinson: Show me your first born son, and RTR

Many Roids believe that this shapeshifting  port is a loaded pistol from Pinson. Before games versus rivals like LSU, Auburn and Tennessee it is a classy tradition for Bammeroid families to mark their door posts with lamb’s blood so that the Ghost of Logan Young will “passover” their trailer and spare their first born sons the pain of Pinson.

Other Roids believe that the port is mythical in nature and shape shifts into Mike DuBose.  DuBose only “reveals” himself during “visions” that are the product of fasting and sweating sessions.  These visions are heightened by smoking copious amounts of weed or meth and reading back issues of Juggs Magazines.  Tradional fasting dates are almost always centered around secretaries day, of course.

Everyone is looking forward to Eric Berry vs. Julio Jones. What is the next matchup you’ll be keying on in this game?

The Battle Captain vs the Bammeroid Defense. Coach Fulmer’s football acumen is so complex that, rather than psycho-analyze this match-up of how TBC will attack the vaunted Roid defense, which will undoubtly confuse people, we will summarize it by the saying that the Tennessee beatdown will be like the fruit from the forbidden tree. Daniel Lincoln is going to plow Leigh Tiffen’s taint, 15-13 Vols

The Tide and Vols will scrap it out under the lights at Neyland. Do you like this arrangement and does the later kickoff time provide an advantage to either team?

The Roids are ranked #2 in the sham BCS rankings.  The BCS polls  are adminstered by the Kangeroo courts of the left wing liberal sports media.   Everyone that doesn’t live in Alabama knows that the BCS was created by the Red Elephant Club to ensure that the Alabama Crimson Tide remained relevant nationally. The Big Orange Nation must remember that despite the sham rankings and the subversive acts of Tennessee traitors, there is no football team which surpasses the Vols and certainly no coach that is superior to Coach Fulmer.

What about the traditional and classy Alabama Homecooking???  The game is in Knoxville, a long way from “SEC Headquarters” in Birmingham, far away from the  influence of the equal-opportunity Bammeroid Rogue Booster, who beckons the most delusional and dimwitted of fanbases the Bammeroid.  Pointing with his skeletal finger the rogue booster, slowly but efficiently fills these dullards hearts with hatred and disdain until they unwittingly find themselves face to face with Charon. And without a coin.  Therefore the advantage goes to Tennessee unless Penn Wagers is officiating the game. Besides our damned hillbillys will be liquored up and ready to get it on!! Tellico is going to be a-rocking on Saturday!!

Since the Tide had a bye week and the Vols didn’t bother to play that weekend either (zing!) we’re going to say this is the Third Saturday in October just to justify the name of one of the greatest rivalries in college football. In three thousand words or less, turn over the kettles of white-hot liquid hate upon thine enemy.

Phil Fulmer is head coach of what I have known all my life as Tennessee football and is 10-4 versus the cheaters/slavetraders… I am Tennessee football and anyone who wants to say I’m not can step on that (excuse me baby Jesus) fucking line and I’ll spank your redneck trailer park ass right back to your dirt-ass peanut Alabama farm. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell of Bama cheating a win outta of Knoxville, or as the saying goes in this case, “Not an ice cream cone’s chance in hell”.    There, that’s better.