HT to Blue&RedReb.
(so much profanity Saban would be jealous)
Coach Chizik called his first team meeting on Sunday night after arriving from Iowa State. It looks like the welcome he received at the airport got him a little fired up. According to the athletic staff, things got pretty intense in the locker room. Apparently, in about a 15 minute period, Chizik cussed and yelled more than most men do in their entire lives.
Wearing a long black overcoat, he came in to the locker room to his new team and stood there staring at his team. He immediately began yelling at his new team that this 5-7 shit isn’t going to cut it. He talked about how the last game he coached at Auburn, they were undefeated and SEC Champions. Then he screamed that it was a God damn embarrassment to win anything less than 10 games.
He went on yelling about how he recruited Quentin Groves and Stanley McGlover and that he didn’t come to Auburn to have a God damn losing season or even to finish last in the division. Last place is bull shit and he came here to win Chizik then went on about how when he was at Auburn before, he never lost to Alabama. He paced back and forth yelling about how it was their God damn duty to whip the shit out of those fuckers and that it was bull shit that they didn’t score a single God damn point against them this year. He said that his team was going to play hard and hit hard. God damnit his team was going to play with God damn passion and they were going to whip some ass. No more of the spread bull shit because they are going to line up and play offense like real fucking men. Then he picked up a chair and shattered it against the wall. He yelled that they were going to go undefeated and when real men go undefeated, they win real God damn championships because that’s what he did at Texas and By God that’s what they were going to do at Auburn.
He then passed a box around the room and said he wanted every God damn earring in the room in the box. He isn’t going to have any fucking pussy girls on his team and wanted every piece of bull shit earring in that box right now. The team was stunned because what they were faced with about as opposite a person as one could have to Tuberville. Chizik then took off his overcoat, threw it on the floor and started to walk towards the door and he looked back at the team as they passed around the box and said, “I’m going to walk out of here right now, and when I come back in here, I’m going to have my shirt off, and I want everyone of you motherfuckers to have your shirts off too.”
He walked out and everyone, confused, started taking their shirts off. Sure enough, Chiznik walked back in, bigger than a lot of the guys on the team, without his shirt on. He started yelling and telling the team that they needed to get loud. He said, “When I point to this side of the room, I want you to say ‘Hard Fightin.’ When I point to this side, I want you to say, ‘Soldiers.’” Standing there with no shirt on with every guy in the room shirtless, started pointing to each side of the room.
Half the team would yell, “Hard Fightin!” while the other would yell “Soldiers.” Apparently it got pretty crazy and guys started flipping chairs, yelling, and throwing coolers across the room while chanting Hard Fightin.. Soldiers. He then stopped and said, “One more thing. If any of you motherfuckers thinks you can take me, you come up here and get a piece of me right now.” He gave everyone an opportunity to come up and fight him and said, “That’s what I thought,” and walked out of the room.
The Wildboyz Era has began on the Plains. Hell yes
All of this sounds great, but there’s only one thing I want to know.
Do they has crayons?
If all this is really true only thing stands out to me.
All this yelling and screaming was done in vain…..the barn is bowless …save all that hot air for Sept ’09 when you’re really going to need it, meathead!
36-0
@2 Wow big big words considering your win streak vs. Auburn is now 1.
@2, it is a parody of the Wildboyz incident The 0 pulled when arriving to Oxford, stupid fuck… Go tell Moondog that you has crayons.
Did he say “holy shit, where’s the tylenol?” as cousin eddy drove off in the RV to go get Jay Jacobs?
3rd down, on da money! this was the O … if chizik had given anyone the chance to take him, i’m fairly certain a mob of auburn fans, 20,000 strong would’ve magically appeared and ripped him to shreds …
Chizik is Auburn’s Zook.
He apparently can do it but Chizik has a long way to go to fuck up a program like BatShitCrazy did. I guess the recruits that got wind of that shit will be hauling ass.
Genius. Almost like we were there. I can see Chizik’s face with Coach O’s voice.
Almost makes me think of the Bobby Knight halftime speech from the 80′s that somehow ended up on youtube…
@8….A long way to go, how do you figure? I think the ’09 seaon is good fucking start and then bring in a meathead who is 0-8 in the Big 12 this year.
Great job Pat ‘I cont rememba where i left my paints’ Dye and Co.
Keeping it in the family while the fans cancel their season tickets.
War Damn Chicken!
@10:
Did you – a Bammer – really just make fun of another school for “keeping it in the Family?” Wow.
[...] Chizik’s First Speech To His Auburn Team (Losers With Socks) [...]
I think it’s more like “Wild Boys,” of 80′s Duran Duran fame.
10-BSC Ed O was 10-24 and 3-21 in the SEC during his three tenure at OM. for Chizik, that’s a” long way to go” and if Chizik matches that, Lowder won’t fire him, he’ll have him shot.