The writeup below is from a comment left by Seminole Rising.  It is the written response to this post: Herban Lays Down the *Law* and updates this living and breathing document: Ranking the Florida Gator Arrests. I hope that Tebow gets arrested in an adult bookstore quarter-flick roundup to add the cherry on top.

Here we go with the manifesto:

There has been a lot going on since you wrote that one Jai. I know this thing is hard to keep up with but I try.
2008 updates:
Well the race for the Fulmer Cup 2008 is well underway. Torrey Davis started the ball rolling with public intoxication, yes he is drinking again. Credit card gator Jamar Hornsby has vaulted UF back into the top ten by using the credit card of a dead woman who was killed in a motorcycle accident along with his former teamate. How is that for the top 1% of the top 1%?

Gator Matt Patchan shot in the back at a park late at night. No details yet on how it exactly happened. It is interesting a guy was shot in the back and nobody seems to know anything about it and herban is not making a statement. Our investigators are on the job and will get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. Was he shot in the back rounding the outhouse door? Inquiring minds want to know.

Maurice Pouncey friend of Chris “it is good to be Chris Rainey” Rainey finds out it is not so good to be Maurice Pouncey found swilling some nasty Bud Light in his car in Gainesville. They really should pay these gators enough so they don’t have to drink cancerous sugar water. Get them some good import beer.

Teddy Dupay who left gator basketball due to gambling on sports made the news as he choked and beat his girlfriend in a Colorado Ski resort.

We are getting ready for fall now look for more breaking news. The boys are back in town

This week is different. We just got a whole lotta stuff to get to here; our sporting men and women have been busy. Let’s start with the fun one, for it is always fun for us up in New England Patriots territory when a Miami Dolphin faces justice. This past week, linebacker Channing Crowder got himself cited for careless driving and charged with leaving the scene of an accident involving property damage (the latter a second-degree misdemeanor) in Hollywood, Florida, after he crashed his pickup truck in the early morning hours and then took off, leaving his car at the scene. It was a shades-of-Jerramy-Stevens sort of moment, except that Crowder crashed into a tree, not an old folks’ home. Cops recovered his possessions — including a firearm — from the truck, but it was too late at that point to test for drugs or alcohol.

August 4, 2008 Former Florida Gators football star John Reaves, who was arrested last Wednesday in connection with a gun threat, has now also been charge with cocaine possession. This is the quarterback involved in the famous Miami flop which allowed him the gator all time passing record.

Well the race for the Fulmer Cup 2008 is well underway. Torrey Davis started the ball rolling with public intoxication, yes he is drinking again. Credit card gator Jamar Hornsby has vaulted UF back into the top ten by using the credit card of a dead woman who was killed in a motorcycle accident along with his former teamate. How is that for the top 1% of the top 1%?

http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/ind…itle=Fulmer_Cup
Well the race for the Fulmer Cup 2008 is well underway. Torrey Davis started the ball rolling with public intoxication, yes he is drinking again. Credit card gator Jamar Hornsby has vaulted UF back into the top ten by using the credit card of a dead woman who was killed in a motorcycle accident along with his former teamate. How is that for the top 1% of the top 1%?

Since the advent of record keeping for criminality in sports began the gators now rank #2 for criminal acts in sports. They came in at #3 last year and after a slow start this year have once again proven they won’t stay down forever.

Breaking Ronnie is back.

Seminoles 2008 Prepare For The Terminator

Ronnie Wilson now on hold for the FSU, Alabama and bowl games. Herban Meyer is still refusing to comment on whether or not Ronnie “The Rifleman” Wilson is still part of the team.

Most of us are familiar with the fact that the Rifleman back in April 2007 slapped and spit in the face of one Frank Fuller, a Santa Fe Community College student at the XS night club according to Gainesville Police. Wilson then fled the scene.

Fuller followed Wilson with his cellphone and called the police. When the Rifleman pulled into a parking lot, he exited the vehicle pulled out an AK-47 assault rifle and fired off a round into the air. The Rifleman later explained he wanted Fuller “to know how it felt to be scared.”

Unfortunately bullets of this type can fall from the air and kill people in a city. Wilson was charged with use or display of a concealed weapon during a felony, aggravated assault and simple battery.

Now here is where the fun begins the state attorney’s office reduced the charges to one count of battery and discharging a firearm in public which surprise were both misdemeanors.

Naturally the Rifleman pled no contest to the discharging of a firearm and battery with two years of court supervision and agreed to 100 hours of community service, the forteiting of his assault rifle and undergoing a mental health evaluation.

Well in January of 2008 Wilson was arrested again and charged with possession of marijuana after running a stop sign with 6 grams.

This should have been a violation of his probabtion but enter state attorney “Wild Bill Cervone” once again who failed to notice the rifleman was on probation. What a lucky guy! The charges were swept under the rug and dismissed citing how hard it is to prove possession.

Well it is football 2008 in Gainesville and Herban has welcomed his boy back to the team. Forget the fighting, spitting, slapping, guns and mayhem.

It wasn’t over however as after the Arkansas game back in Gainesville during a party at 3:30 in the morning at the Lexington Crossing Apts, the Rifleman became concerned over a woman. The rifleman hit a man and followed him outside and was in the process of throwing another punch when a woman stepped in the way and proceed to have her wrist broken by the punch. Wilson was after a third victim who offered assistance as we run out of facts on the story line.

As of now Herban has no comment on whether or not Ronnie is on the team. His only comments are no discussion. Ronnie was held out of the Vandy game but we know he will be ready for FSU, Alabama and the bowl games.

The rifleman is like a terminator, no man, no woman, no party and no law can stop him. He is here to do a job and we know what is. Seminoles get ready for the rifleman.

Jacques Rickerson was arrested in Gainesville for choking his girlfriend and putting a pillow case over her head, luckily the neighbors heard her screaming. He is “said to be leaving the team.”

Cam Newtown November 21, 2008. Backup quarterback Cam Newton arrested for stealing a $1700 computer from a fellow student.
A thought regarding the computer would be Cam’s proficiency in regards to computer programming and hacking ability. Secondly was he an intimate friend of gator basketball player Nick Calathes who has caused a stir by running up $600 in computer gambling debts.

Was Cam trying to erase Nick’s tracks or simply going on line to win back the money for a buddy.
Cam maybe more of a good sararitan in this than we think, although threatening a witness would certainly take some of the lustre off.

But then again who knows maybe Cam just needs a computer. You don’t want him at quarterback anyway because when he threw the laptop out of the window he missed the dumpster and the computer was found laying beside it.

In the paper today Bianchi mentioned that Billy Donovan stated the Calathes caper was not even a story and Bianchi said yes it is as Teddy Dupay, the same Teddy Dupay that busted up his girlfriend in a Colorado Ski resort was outed for gamblin on games at UF.

Of course Bianchi could not write this article without one final shot at UCF on the Plancher incident and FSU, first indicating that various teams have songs on their ipods. He mentioned UCF for David Soul’s (Don’t give up on us baby) as O’Leary told the Sentinel where to put the microphone and FSU for (Kung Fu Fighting).

Update Special:

blogs.orlandosentinel.com/spor…l-arrested.html

UF offensive lineman Carl Johnson was arrested on Feb 16, 2009 for violating a sexual sexual violence restraining order. Apparently Johnson followed the campus bus the woman was riding on.  Public transit, public sex and Gate hopped up on redbull.   A deadly combination

It took the Orlando Sentinel to dig up information on what is happening in Gainesville as apparently their local papers don’t get involved in such matters. There was no information on the nature of the orginal sexual violence incident in the police report.

The paper did mention this is the football team’s third arrest since November. Cornerback Jacques Rickerson was kicked off the team for domestic battery. Quarterback Cam Newton, who has transferred, allegedly stole a student’s laptop and threw it out of his dorm window upon police suspicion.

Team spokespersons indicated that Herban Meyer was out of the country and had no comment. Out of the country? Some of those Kenyan running backs are like greased lightning I hear.

GAINESVILLE — Charges involving an alleged violation of an injunction against Florida football player Carl Johnson were dismissed today because of what State Attorney Bill Cervone called, “insufficient evidence.”
Cervone added that the on-going injunction against Johnson not to have contact with an ex-girlfriend and the Student Judicial Affairs process has “addressed the matter sufficiently.”

A woman who claimed Florida offensive lineman Carl Johnson raped her three times has also indicated she will not pursue rape allegations, which could clear Johnson’s path to play football next fall.