The shortest verse in the TFB. Ball Security 20:06, “Foster fumbled.”
Georgia 51:33, “Foster scored again.”
Book of Fulmer 19:92-20:08, “And the Battle Captain said yet again, ‘I’ve coached for a long time. I won over 75% of my games including a National Championship in 1998. I think I’ve done it the right way.”
Genesis 1:1, ”Vols, bitch”
Genesis 1:2, ”Bama Cheats”
Cutcliffe 19:3 – “And Crompton went up to the mountain to Fulmer, and the COACH called to him, ‘Jonathan, this is what you must tell the others, take these values and hold them dear to your heart. Never forget where you came from. Work like heck.”
Mountain Damn Values 1:1,”In the beginning, there was a QB, and the QB was Tennessee. In those days, a man worked a full day for an honest wage. Uphill to the weight room, twice the hike back uphill home. Rain, snow, sleet, shine, a young mountain boy built like a stallion works like heck to get better….”
Majors 13:10, “You’ve gotta be sound in the kicking game.”
Cutcliffe 3:1 – “And that night an Angel appeared to Archie in a dream and spoke to him, “Fear not, a son will come to you and you will call him Peyton (and Eli).”
Miami 35:7… “Testeverde wept.”
Tradition 15:3, “And the Lord said, ‘I gave my all for Tennessee today.’”
Heisman 56:2, “Coach Majors told the flock, “Go young men, and knock the snot bubbles out of ‘em.”
Majors 3:3, “…and Coach Majors settled for a field goal.”
Revelations 11-3-1, ”A wise Bammeroid fears Fulmer and shuns buying humans, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless with the subpoena.”
Neyland 1:1, “Finally, a spirit came forward, stood before Smokey and said, Vols, Bitch.”
Book of Fulmer 6:9, “Engineerin‘ is more than just drivin’ a train.”
Book of Fulmer 11:3.1, “I don’t give a damn bout the whole state Alabama.”
UGA 35:14, “Ainge owns Richt.”
Bama 12:1, “A foolish Roid brings grief to his Booster and bitterness to the one who pays him.”
Bama 12:2, ”Their destiny is destruction, their god is houndstooth, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things, like buying national championships.”
Book of Fulmer 3:6.0, “They’re young people, They like to be entertained. It’s an Xbox generation..”
The Apostle of John (Adams), “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the Monvolians the Battle Captain had cast out of the BON. He said to the fallen angels, ‘Did Fulmer really say, “You must not east from any tree in the garden?”
Book of Fulmer 20:08, “And the wise AD said, “GTFO.”
Majors 21:12
I did not know Johnny was a Rush fan.
No Ronnie Wilson post, yet? I’m disappointed.
Saban 2:1…Coach Saban wins his second NC well within the next few years …… and the tenner’s wept profusely! !
Junior and LuLu 01:07–and there shall be a curse upon the men of dreamcicle orange; they will gnash their teeth and lament their turnovers and beat their chests and pray to not have to face Les Miles in December again.
@3 for which team will Saban be coaching for then?
@ 5 You can rest assured it wont be LSU!
@6 Doubtful it will be UAT either.
@7 i’m thinkin Big Televen for $aban’s next stop. perhaps former Tulane asst coach Rodriguez and his pop warner scheme won’t last long at the big house and $aban will follow the money
@8 how many years of fail will Ohio State put up with in Tressell before he gets the boot? 2nd place hurts deep in the Fuckeye souls.
@9 i don’t know about $aban for the failboats. he doesn’t really fit the mold of the past suckeye coaches–all sweater or sweater vest wearing stodgy old white guys (Hayes, Earle, Cooper and now Tressel)…maybe he will make it up to state college once Joe Pa finally steps down or dies.
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Bama 41:17
Vawl secondary cannot stop JPW
[...] The Tennessee Football Bible – [Losers with Socks] [...]
From the new testament of Kiffin 1:1 From that which appears to the great unwashed as a screwup is merely part of the process toward eternal salvation.
This was nonsensical last year. Time has not improved it at all.
Gators 4:11 verse 1996
Gators go for it on 4th and 11 and score (bitch)
Saban 0:2–I am the lord Saban, your god. Ute shall have no other gods before me.