Jon Crompton:  He is passing the ball instead of treating it like a football-shaped turd that’s on fire.  unfortunately the guys in the different color shirts are catching it more than our guys

1. Go shoot some varmints, field dress them and eat them. Start with squirrels and work your way up from there. Try wild boar hunting in east Tennessee.

2. Get liquored and doped up in our scenic river bottoms. Pretty simple–bring all the JD, Jagermeister, and pot you can hide in a vehicle and head out at 1 in the morning. This works alot better if you’re 17 and half the high school goes with you…at least that’s how it worked where I went to school.

3. Wear camo everywhere you go. Even if its to the mall, funerals, church or to the nudist camp. Wwear camo. You never know when the deer are going to come for you.

4. Spruce up your shack or trailer home with a brand new vehicle that costs more than where you are living. Get some spinners for it too, and a really nice sound system so that people know how wealthy and priviledged you are.

Since I’ve been dipping I’ve never had a problem with worms or long relationships…
Cooooo-penhagen!
What a wad of flavor.

Cooooo-penhagen!
You can see it in my smile.

Cooooo-penhagen!
Do yourself a favor and chew
Cooooo-penhagen!
Drive them pretty girls wild.

Heisman, bitch